flyer034 Posted February 2, 2004 Share Posted February 2, 2004 Alright this is a long story so bear with me here. There is this girl at work that I have started to like within the last few months. She recently broke up with her boyfriend of one year. I want to ask her out, but was waiting for her to cope a lil' first, then a guy I work with broke up with his fiancee and told me he liked her too. Well the thing is I don't know if he has already made his move and he won't tell me, and neither will she. Should I make a move anyway?? They keep saying that they are not going out, but they might be keeping it a secret. She and I are pretty good friends, so I don't really think it would ruin our friendship even if she said no, There's more to it though, apparently this guy was cheating, or trying to cheat on his fiancee. One of my other female friends said that he went out with her a couple of times and then she found out that he had a fiancee, he left that little part out. Then he tried to make a move on her and she shot him down. He did this to at least two other girls while he was engaged. So now if he does win and starts to date her, she doesn't really know about any of this. I can't tell her so what do I do, if he hurt her like that I don't really know what I would do, but I would make his life hell. So the question I guess is, should I throw it all on the line and make a move too, just wait it out(I've been waiting a month now), or tell her what I know. He is a really good friend of mine too that I respected real well, until I found about about what he had done. I mean the only real solution I can see her is to ask her out, but if she says no I am with the other guy now, I can't really protect her anymore, so I just don't know what to do. I mean eventually she will figure him out, but I don't want her to get hurt by him. Well any advice would be appreciated and thanks for reading my post. Oh yeah, I am probably going to ask her out wednesday or thursday if it comes to that. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted February 2, 2004 Share Posted February 2, 2004 Simple answer: Ask her out. No harm will be done whether it's a yes or a no. DON'T tell her about his misdeeds unless she asks. Then, be as accurate and dispassionate as you can. The tough issue is your guy friend. Are you going to continue to be friends with him knowing what he has done to other people? Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted February 2, 2004 Share Posted February 2, 2004 I think you should persue her based on your OWN feelings and merits....not by blackballing your ex-buddy. If she's smart enough for you to care about....she'll figure it out all on her own or someone else will tell her. If you say something now....it will look as though you did it for advantage purposes. I hope you have a wonderful date!!!! Please post and give an update afterwards. Link to post Share on other sites
guest Posted February 2, 2004 Share Posted February 2, 2004 Its really not your place to tell her rumors about this other guy. Whether or not you believe them. Ask her out. Link to post Share on other sites
InvinoVeritas Posted February 3, 2004 Share Posted February 3, 2004 Ask her out, and this guy is no friend of yours or you wouldn't be considering telling her. As well he shouldn't be, i might add, it sounds as if he is a dishonest person, and if a man is dishonest to his fiancee then he will be dishonest with you. mean what you say..say what you mean..but don't be mean about what you say The hardest thing to do is to watch the one you like, love another... Link to post Share on other sites
Author flyer034 Posted February 3, 2004 Author Share Posted February 3, 2004 Hey thanks for the replies everybody, I am going to ask her out on Wednesday, If she's at work, she was sick last Sunday, so hopefully she is better now. I don't know how it will turn out, but I am sure we will remain friends either way, I just hope that if she shoots me down that she will realize what the other guy is and not get hurt by him. I don't even know if she knows that I like her. She would have to be pretty oblivious not to, but we'll see what happens. Wish Me Luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author flyer034 Posted February 5, 2004 Author Share Posted February 5, 2004 Well hey just thought I would give you and update. I lost big time. I was right apparently they have been seeing each other and she told me she felt I was more like a cool little brother and wants to stay friends. I just told her to watch herself. Then she told me that she knew about him and that everyone makes mistakes. She then went on to tell me how she had done many many stupid things and that she had made a lot more mistakes, and that I should look better on him for making the mistakes. Whatever, Now I feel like I am going to puke. I know there are other fish in the sea, but I just ruined a good friendship. I can't stay friends with her after that. Then she goes on to tell me that since she has a kid she doesn't like to date and that she wouldn't be good for me anyway. She is really pissed off about the whole thing. I just don't know what to think, except that we can't be friends anymore, he was cheating on his fiancee with her from what she was telling me. I just wanted a simple yes or no. That's all I wanted. Not all of this. They can have each other as far as I am concerned they're both gone to me anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
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