Why do parents let children misbehave in public?

[threebyfate]

Reasoning with a 3-yr old back and forth? No.

Explaining to them, so they UNDERSTAND? Absolutely.

It's actually easy to reason with a 3 year-old. Just not while in the midst of a tantrum or while hyper-active.

[lolapalooza]

I called you ignorant because you are.

I guess we'll see who ends up with the more successful children: the ignorant one that provides structure and discipline, or the arrogant one who thinks she deserves "understanding" because she can't control her kids.

[threebyfate]

Parents are responsible for raising little people, rather than little robots or maniacs. Too harsh or malleable and you're going to end up with dysfunctional adult children.

 

If you never give them choices, explain, negotiate or reason with them, they'll become either authoritarian, rebel harshly when they can or end up as nothing but doormats with no self-esteem. Worst case scenario, they end up as all three.

 

If you never give them boundaries, expecting them to figure out your moods or how to be a functioning part of society, they'll be lost, insecure and/or unmanageable. You're doing them no favours for their future happiness.

 

Also, I see many parents who do the "do what I say, not what I do" routine. In essence, you're teaching children that hypocrisy and denial are okay.

 

Being too selfish, expecting that society will help or has to put up with your piss poor parenting, will teach your children to be both victims and insufferably selfish.

[SarahRose]

Stupid parents will defend their poor parenting skills. Their refusal to listen and adapt and try something else is why they are lousy parents. Plus wanting to be friend more than a parent. Being a parent is hard. Taking the lazy way out is easy. Parents who think and treat their kids like mini adults are simply morons with no understanding of child development. If their kids are so damn advanced in understanding adult situations then they can get out and get a job and support themselves. So why can't they do that? Because they don't have the skills and mental faculties of an adult which brings me to the entire point of parenting which is to raise a healthy human being who can take care of themselves and be a constructive productive member of society. All this coddling isn't achieving that so yes if you kids grow up to be spoiled entitled monsters who can't cook a mean or do a load of laundry, yes you have failed as a parent.

 

I dont even know why people bother having children anymore other than for an ego trip.

 

Animals in the wild seem to figure out how to discipline their offspring and raise them up to survive. I don't know why us stupid humans can't figure it out.

 

Look at a mother cat who has a kitten screwing off. She gets the little **** on its back and bites it neck until it knocks it off.

[califnan]

My twin sons were more quiet and inhibited so they were pretty good in public..

 

My grandson, on the other hand is more vivacious and spirited..

 

Once after a flea market, I wanted to stop real quick like (yes right) at a decorater design center in Tustin (Calico Corners) ..

 

He was about 4 or 5 yrs old.. and I wanted to take in all of the diff designer fabrics, and I could tell he was getting antsy, and I did feel for him.. .. So he started whizzing (running) throughout the place..

 

They told us we would have to leave.. It's like - how could they not see how absolutely darling he was ..

[lolapalooza]

No offense, califnan, but I applaud them for asking you to leave. If the child had hurt himself it would have been further disruption, and they had no way of knowing you wouldn't sue them.

[califnan]

No offense, califnan, but I applaud them for asking you to leave. If the child had hurt himself it would have been further disruption, and they had no way of knowing you wouldn't sue them.

 

-----------------------

 

I see where you are coming from lola.. They told me it was because he was a distraction to the customers.

 

I had made a few purchases prior to that .. one of which was over $300 of drapery fabric..

 

And I have gone there since, but only to view - write down fabric info - and purchase on line .. (good discounts) ..

 

So in considering the store as the museum for what it is .. I turned a bad situation into a good one..

[Woman In Blue]

If parents do nothing when the child misbehaves, this can also be a form of discipline. Any reaction to unwanted behavior actually increases the occurrence and intensity of that particular behavior. No matter if the reaction is negative or positive. It's ways good to keep your cool as a parent, even in public, in order to demonstrate that the kid's neg. behavior is just not very important or impressive, if you will. Sure, people in restaurants might be annoyed by the screaming at times, but you know what? Tough sh$$. Relax. The person who is the most aggravated in a situation like that is the parent. Feel for the parent and be thankful you're not in their shoes. And / or have perfectly-mannered kids.

Wow - can we say "selfish?" Yes, we sure can.

 

Who the hell are you to tell ME that I have to put up with your screaming kids in a restaurant just because you think the best way to handle your out of control kid is to IGNORE him? And then you have the unmitigated GALL to say "tough sh*t" to those of us who become aggrevated that OUR dinner or movie or shopping experience is being ruined? Are you freakin' KIDDING me? Who gave YOU the power to determine that the rest of society can go pound salt whenever it suits you?

 

If you want to play the passive parent and ignore your kid, go right ahead - AT HOME where you're not disturbing everyone ELSE in the world.

 

It's this type of completely selfish and self-serving attitude that I can't stand. You're the type of parent that gives other parents a bad name.

[Woman In Blue]

Stupid parents will defend their poor parenting skills. Their refusal to listen and adapt and try something else is why they are lousy parents.

One needs only to read this particular thread to see how right you are.

[GorillaTheater]

Interesting thread. We have 8 kids, 4 of them 9 and younger. Heathens, the lot of them. But they know how to act in public. I don't know that I've ever dealt with public meltdowns. Seriously.

 

I don't think we're extraordinary parents or anything. Maybe it's a factor of consistently not tolerating crap behavior. TBF will be dismayed to find that occasionally includes spanking.

[ladydesigner]

My kids are both adhd and are hard to bring out in public. I'm not going to sit at home forever. Plus they need to learn how to act in restaurants as well. If they misbehave we leave simple as that. Grocery store is a little harder. Those of you who have never experienced a hyperactive kid, just thank your lucky stars. The rest of this thread makes me ill and really sometimes I DO NOT CARE WHAT SOME OF YOU THINK OUT THERE. Proven fact especially if I'm at a restaurant that is family friendly. If you want quiet with no kids go to a more expensive restaurant. Sorry.

[fooled once]

Totally agree.

 

Get over yourself. Calling me ignorant will get you nowhere. I have two very well-behaved children who know NEVER to misbehave in public. They know that if they do, they will be disciplined appropriately. I've never had to discipline them for misconduct in public. Ever. They know what is expected of them and act accordingly.

 

Exactly. Why should the rest of the public have to suffer because a parent can't control their kid?

 

Alternatively, if a child misbehaves at a restaurant, why should they be given the privledge of going out again until they can demonstrate correct behavior? I guess parents don't think children should have to suffer any consequences for their actions these days.

 

It must be soo nice to have such perfect children but if you can get off your high horse for a minute you'll see that us mere mortals have children who throw tantrums every now and then. It doesn't mean their brats whose parents don't discipline them, it just means their human.

 

Ignorance is a state of being uninformed. This should not be confused with being unintelligent, as one's level of intelligence and level of education or general awareness are not the same. The word "ignorant" is an adjective describing a person in the state of being unaware.

 

I called you ignorant because you are.

 

is this necessary? Really. And if this is how you react to a different point of view on a website, I can only image how you do parent. I have a feeling there will be some more kids who believe they are entitled to act however they want and to hell with the rest of society.

 

Stupid parents will defend their poor parenting skills. Their refusal to listen and adapt and try something else is why they are lousy parents. Plus wanting to be friend more than a parent. Being a parent is hard. Taking the lazy way out is easy. Parents who think and treat their kids like mini adults are simply morons with no understanding of child development. All this coddling isn't achieving that so yes if you kids grow up to be spoiled entitled monsters who can't cook a mean or do a load of laundry, yes you have failed as a parent.

 

I dont even know why people bother having children anymore other than for an ego trip.

 

Excellent Post.

 

Lady Designer wrote:

 

hose of you who have never experienced a hyperactive kid, just thank your lucky stars. The rest of this thread makes me ill and really sometimes I DO NOT CARE WHAT SOME OF YOU THINK OUT THERE. Proven fact especially if I'm at a restaurant that is family friendly. If you want quiet with no kids go to a more expensive restaurant. Sorry.

 

But your children should NOT be acting up in a restaurant, period. If you cannot control your children, then don't go out and subject a restaurant full of people to just deal with your out of control kids. How is that fair to me? Go to McDonald's if you want to let your kids run free.

 

It is amazing me to how out of touch many people today are in regards to parenting and raising kids who know how to behave and when it is appropriate to behave. So many have an excuse for why their kid is out of control. Nowadays, most kids have some diagnosis for something, as if that means it is okay for them to be out of control and disrupt others experiences, whether it is at the movies, a restaurant or a museum.

 

Kids 30 years ago weren't carrying on the way kids today do. Parents didn't allow it. They knew there was a time and place for that and they taught their kids to respect that. Now, it is "Johnny is ADHD and that is just the way he is". Bull. It is called lazy parenting. Johnny better learn the correct way to act or Johnny can stay home.

 

And at 18, Johnny is going to be unleashed into society with no idea how to control himself, how to behave, proper reactions for situations and have no respect for anyone. Great. Just what we need - more of what kids today are like.

 

Business owners are torn between the people who respect how to behave in a restaurant and those that have out of control kids - they don't want to lose anyone's business.

 

Thankfully, more and more, people are speaking up and letting others know they do not appreciate or want uncontrollable children around them.

 

I raised my son how to behave. I have never had a single complaint in 21 years from anyone about him acting up. He did great in school, has a big social circle and is doing great on his own. He knows the rules of society and follows them. He shows respect.

 

People also have to remember the business owners don't want out of control children in their store/restaurant because of liability issues and insurance. Kids running around could bump into something or someone and hurt it. I have seen it numerous times. It is pretty sad when something gets broken due to lazy parents who allow their kids to run wild.

[ladydesigner]

is this necessary? Really. And if this is how you react to a different point of view on a website, I can only image how you do parent. I have a feeling there will be some more kids who believe they are entitled to act however they want and to hell with the rest of society.

 

 

 

Excellent Post.

 

Lady Designer wrote:

 

 

 

But your children should NOT be acting up in a restaurant, period. If you cannot control your children, then don't go out and subject a restaurant full of people to just deal with your out of control kids. How is that fair to me? Go to McDonald's if you want to let your kids run free.

 

It is amazing me to how out of touch many people today are in regards to parenting and raising kids who know how to behave and when it is appropriate to behave. So many have an excuse for why their kid is out of control. Nowadays, most kids have some diagnosis for something, as if that means it is okay for them to be out of control and disrupt others experiences, whether it is at the movies, a restaurant or a museum.

 

Kids 30 years ago weren't carrying on the way kids today do. Parents didn't allow it. They knew there was a time and place for that and they taught their kids to respect that. Now, it is "Johnny is ADHD and that is just the way he is". Bull. It is called lazy parenting. Johnny better learn the correct way to act or Johnny can stay home.

 

And at 18, Johnny is going to be unleashed into society with no idea how to control himself, how to behave, proper reactions for situations and have no respect for anyone. Great. Just what we need - more of what kids today are like.

 

Business owners are torn between the people who respect how to behave in a restaurant and those that have out of control kids - they don't want to lose anyone's business.

 

Thankfully, more and more, people are speaking up and letting others know they do not appreciate or want uncontrollable children around them.

 

I raised my son how to behave. I have never had a single complaint in 21 years from anyone about him acting up. He did great in school, has a big social circle and is doing great on his own. He knows the rules of society and follows them. He shows respect.

 

People also have to remember the business owners don't want out of control children in their store/restaurant because of liability issues and insurance. Kids running around could bump into something or someone and hurt it. I have seen it numerous times. It is pretty sad when something gets broken due to lazy parents who allow their kids to run wild.

 

I'm sorry but until you have had a child that is hard to control, and trust me I have tried everything I am not a bad parent, you will never understand how hard it is and I refuse to be some kind of hermit and I don't really feel like eating at McDonalds everytime I go out to eat.

 

I used to think the way all you think. Why can't these people control their kids? That was until I had my own kids who are both diagnosed with behavioral disorders. Should I beat my kids into oblivion? No of course not. Are they receiving counseling for this? Yes. I try my best as a parent and if they act up in restaurants, hell yes I nip it in the butt or leave. But to accuse parents of not controlling their children is absurd in some cases. I'm sorry I disagree with a lot of these posts. A child with a behavioral disorder is really hard to deal with and very embarrassing. It is not easy. I agree with parents not parenting kids that can be easily controlled, but what about those of us who are good parents and are trying to get things under control. Until you have walked in these shoes you should not judge.

 

I'm sorry but this thread obviously hit a sore spot with me. I agree there needs to be control but sometimes it is very hard to control "out of control " kids. Most of the time I don't go out to eat because of this and most of the time my kids behave. There are the occasional outburts. Maybe this is what some of you witness.

Edited July 15, 2010 by ladydesigner

[SweetD]

There is a very defensive part of me which is going to speak out on behalf of parents with toddlers. My daughter is two, and I NEVER, I repeat NEVER ever, understood how a child could "get away" with spazzing out in public before I had a child of my own. I always assumed tantrums and whining were a result of poor parenting. However, I am now understanding it is a developmental milestone which parents need to guide their toddlers through with discipline and boundaries, yet even the most well intentioned parents will have a meltdown on their hands from time to time. For the same reason infants cry when their needs are not being met, toddlers test their boundaries to understand their place in life. It is what they do, and very frustrating in fact for the parent who indeed disciplines and is trying their best yet still has a spazzy child from time to time.

 

As for the "ignoring" thing, the only thing I can relate to this is when my daughter fake cries, say, when we are in the grocery store. I completely ignore it and continue to scan the isles. I am not going to exit the store and halt my life because my daughter wants attention. If I were to make a fuss and rip her out of the cart, she would be the one who is winning. Simple as that. I will say however, the ignoring you describe where parents let their child run around the restaurant with no discipline is completely unacceptable.

[sb129]

There is a big difference between toddlers testing their boundaries in the supermarket and kids running riot in a restaurant. Babies cry- and thats their only way of communicating, I have no problems with crying babies. Toddlers are just learning their way around the world, and I have a certain degree of tolerance with them too.

 

If you want to eat in a decent restaurant and you can't get your kids to behave there, get a babysitter! Parents need a break from their kids too.

 

My daughter is the most gorgeous baby in the world (of course!) but when she eats its like the pumpkin massacre. Its messy and noisy, and we take her to places where they don't mind that.

If we want to go anywhere more grown-up, we get a sitter.

 

As for the "ignoring" thing, the only thing I can relate to this is when my daughter fake cries, say, when we are in the grocery store. I completely ignore it and continue to scan the isles. I am not going to exit the store and halt my life because my daughter wants attention. If I were to make a fuss and rip her out of the cart, she would be the one who is winning. Simple as that. I will say however, the ignoring you describe where parents let their child run around the restaurant with no discipline is completely unacceptable

 

I agree with this.

 

If you have hard to control kids with "ADHD", no matter how much you protest, people are going to judge you and think its bad parenting, because alot of people don't believe in ADHD.

 

I am not sure if I believe in ADHD. I think children are overindulged and fed far too much crap and this has a huge impact on their behaviour. ADHD wasn't nearly as prevalent 50 years ago...

 

I have a friend whos son is autistic, and he is on a special diet now, he is like a different kid, you can hardly tell he is different to other kids.

[Clep]

A new movement has slowly evolved over the past twenty years or so. Parents are taught to ignore poor behavior in hopes that it will just go away while simultaneously affirming the positive behaviors. The problem is that parents don't notice the positives and say something about it all the time.

 

We also have parents who want to be their children's friends undermining the parental role. We so involved in protecting our children from feeling badly even from their own choices, we have robbed our children from valuable learning experiences. Our children are over indulged so they have no appreciation and want more all the time.

 

I remember when my child was three. She decided to throw a tantrum in the grocery store. I removed her from the store, took her outside and had a talk with her about her choices. I let her know if she did that again I would have to take her to a sitter and she would lose the privilege of shopping with me for that time. I phoned the sitter and set it up for my daughter to possibly go to her asap. I did share lots of positive reinforcement on the way back into the store.

 

We went back into the store with her bag of activities to do as we always brought, she helped me shop and threw another tantrum. I left my cart at the front, took her to the sitter screaming and yelling all the way, and went back to finish my shopping.

 

A tantrum never happened again as I quietly shared with her she has a choice, to stay with me, or go to the sitter. This extended everywhere we went.

 

It really bothers me to have to listen to a child screaming with their parent ignoring that. The behaviors of a child should not determine the quality of my outing.

[sally4sara]

I am not sure if I believe in ADHD. I think children are overindulged and fed far too much crap and this has a huge impact on their behaviour. ADHD wasn't nearly as prevalent 50 years ago...

 

I have a friend whos son is autistic, and he is on a special diet now, he is like a different kid, you can hardly tell he is different to other kids.

 

It is hard for people who don't deal with this to believe it can make such a big difference. I use to wonder about it too. One of my friends has a son that was like Jekyll/Hyde well past the typical age of tantrums till they discovered he was allergic to food dyes and artificial flavorings.

[lolapalooza]

a new movement has slowly evolved over the past twenty years or so. Parents are taught to ignore poor behavior in hopes that it will just go away while simultaneously affirming the positive behaviors. The problem is that parents don't notice the positives and say something about it all the time.

 

We also have parents who want to be their children's friends undermining the parental role. We so involved in protecting our children from feeling badly even from their own choices, we have robbed our children from valuable learning experiences. Our children are over indulged so they have no appreciation and want more all the time.

 

I remember when my child was three. She decided to throw a tantrum in the grocery store. I removed her from the store, took her outside and had a talk with her about her choices. I let her know if she did that again i would have to take her to a sitter and she would lose the privilege of shopping with me for that time. I phoned the sitter and set it up for my daughter to possibly go to her asap. I did share lots of positive reinforcement on the way back into the store.

 

We went back into the store with her bag of activities to do as we always brought, she helped me shop and threw another tantrum. I left my cart at the front, took her to the sitter screaming and yelling all the way, and went back to finish my shopping.

 

A tantrum never happened again as i quietly shared with her she has a choice, to stay with me, or go to the sitter. This extended everywhere we went.

 

It really bothers me to have to listen to a child screaming with their parent ignoring that. The behaviors of a child should not determine the quality of my outing.

THANK YOU!

So glad I'm not the only one out there that thinks like this!

[Clep]

I'm sorry but until you have had a child that is hard to control, and trust me I have tried everything I am not a bad parent, you will never understand how hard it is and I refuse to be some kind of hermit and I don't really feel like eating at McDonalds everytime I go out to eat.

 

I used to think the way all you think. Why can't these people control their kids? That was until I had my own kids who are both diagnosed with behavioral disorders. Should I beat my kids into oblivion? No of course not. Are they receiving counseling for this? Yes. I try my best as a parent and if they act up in restaurants, hell yes I nip it in the butt or leave. But to accuse parents of not controlling their children is absurd in some cases. I'm sorry I disagree with a lot of these posts. A child with a behavioral disorder is really hard to deal with and very embarrassing. It is not easy. I agree with parents not parenting kids that can be easily controlled, but what about those of us who are good parents and are trying to get things under control. Until you have walked in these shoes you should not judge.

 

I'm sorry but this thread obviously hit a sore spot with me. I agree there needs to be control but sometimes it is very hard to control "out of control " kids. Most of the time I don't go out to eat because of this and most of the time my kids behave. There are the occasional outburts. Maybe this is what some of you witness.

 

I am a child care provider and have had many children that have had diagnosed behavioral disorders. I used to believe in them, until I saw the flaws in the parents that were feeding the behaviors without them knowing it. We all do that as parents and it takes so much thought to see where those areas are.

 

The children that "had" these disorders and were on medication and working with psychologists and professionals that were feeding this perception are just fine today. I was not willing to buy into these disorders and was just receptive to the parents frustrations in many areas and worked with them to teach their children focus, self control and boundaries that were age appropriate. These skills were taught in a non threatening, consistent, gentle way. Not one of these children are still on medication to this day. Many of them are no longer in my care as they have grown past the point to care requirement. I am still close to all of these families.

 

I do not believe in these disorders based upon my own experiences and seeing what works with children. I think we need to look past labeling our children in such a way, and recognize our own faults as parents. My own faults as a parent were due to a clouded perception window and when I spend time cleaning that window via lots of personal work, I have become closer to the parent I wish I had. Too bad I can't parent when I am eighty, because by then I will be even better than today.

 

My intent in this post is not to frustrate, just to share a different perception. Good luck to you and your wonderful children.

[Clep]

It is hard for people who don't deal with this to believe it can make such a big difference. I use to wonder about it too. One of my friends has a son that was like Jekyll/Hyde well past the typical age of tantrums till they discovered he was allergic to food dyes and artificial flavorings.

 

This is very true from my experience. My family only eats an all organic diet free of what you listed as well as minimized wheat. It is expensive and I had to adjust financially to aid in this quest, but it has been well worth it.

 

I remember when my son was terrible when he was about one. It turns out he was anemic even with iron fortified formula. After we started liquid iron he was just fine.

 

Very good point you have made.

[ladydesigner]

I am a child care provider and have had many children that have had diagnosed behavioral disorders. I used to believe in them, until I saw the flaws in the parents that were feeding the behaviors without them knowing it. We all do that as parents and it takes so much thought to see where those areas are.

 

The children that "had" these disorders and were on medication and working with psychologists and professionals that were feeding this perception are just fine today. I was not willing to buy into these disorders and was just receptive to the parents frustrations in many areas and worked with them to teach their children focus, self control and boundaries that were age appropriate. These skills were taught in a non threatening, consistent, gentle way. Not one of these children are still on medication to this day. Many of them are no longer in my care as they have grown past the point to care requirement. I am still close to all of these families.

 

I do not believe in these disorders based upon my own experiences and seeing what works with children. I think we need to look past labeling our children in such a way, and recognize our own faults as parents. My own faults as a parent were due to a clouded perception window and when I spend time cleaning that window via lots of personal work, I have become closer to the parent I wish I had. Too bad I can't parent when I am eighty, because by then I will be even better than today.

 

My intent in this post is not to frustrate, just to share a different perception. Good luck to you and your wonderful children.

 

Now this is definitely food for thought. I can agree with this. I am constantly trying new parenting techniques and many of them seem to work as well as dietary changes. I only want what is best for my kids. I personally am offended when people automatically assume a person is a bad parent when they are not. I have never turned a blind eye to my children's behavior and have always looked for ways to improve both my parenting and my children's behavior. There are still times when they are hard to deal with and this is using my parenting to the best of my knowledge...that is when parenting gets frustrating.

[threebyfate]

IMO, autism, ADHD and aspergers exist. But it's not in the bulk amount that is being diagnosed. Anyone taking their children to their GP for behavioural issues, is a few bricks short of a load or looking for a quick fix medication/candy for lazy parenting.

[Enchanted Girl]

I didn't even finish reading this thread because it's so full of-

 

I already know I shouldn't bother finishing that sentence.

 

I have been in public and seen lots of kids misbehave. When people get all pissy about it, they always sound like they think they are King or Queen of the world or something and that if ANYONE makes THEM uncomfortable in public, then they are obviously the most horrible person on earth. Because, you know, the world revolves around all of you and if you're not being made comfortable in a public place, which is about more than just you, that's why it's a PUBLIC PLACE, then you're so pissed off and everything is just awful.

 

I've seen people get pissy about the stupidest things for this reason. It's not just kids misbehaving. I've seen people get pissy because someone turned their hearing aid on and it made a high-pitched noise that was annoying. (Because, you know, it's so much worse to listen to a high-pitched noise than it is to actually be hard of hearing.) Or people getting pissy because someone was talking too loud or whatever.

 

First of all, no matter how annoyed you may get by a child misbehaving in public, the parents are feeling worse about it then you are at that moment, even if they appear to be ignoring the child. They know everyone is staring at them and judging them and the child is probably driving them at least as insane as it's driving you. Secondly, every person who claims that they never threw fits like that in public as a child is a liar. I promise you that you did it at least once. You ALL did it at least once. You just don't remember it because kids don't realize how destructive they are being, but if you ask your mothers and fathers, I promise you that THEY all remember vividly at least one time of you doing that. And it was torture for them and everyone around you judged you guys. Thirdly, children are mischevious by nature. They're still learning to grow up and how to act appropriately. Even though I know you all threw fits in public when you were a kid, you don't do that now. Why? Because you grew up and learned to be mature. Kids don't know how to be mature yet. They are NOT little adults. They are children and they all have their moments of misbehaving. Even among the BEST parents.

 

I've seen kids misbehave lots of times in public. I've had kids misbehave while I was giving speeches and things. One threw a full on fit while I was giving a speech. I've seen people with hearing AIDs. And people talking loud or whatever. And never once have I flipped out over it.

 

Honestly, you CAN ignore it, just like you can ignore all the loud voices in a room full of people talking to talk to the one person you want to focus on. You guys just choose not to and to be all upset about it and judge other people for no reason. As if what a child acts like is a representation of what they are going to be as an adult. None of you guys are anything like you were as a child now (or at least I hope you aren't.)

 

I do understand being upset if the kid is touching you or screaming right in your face. (I've had this happen to me as well and I actually didn't even freak out in these instances either.) Because they are invading your personal space, but most of you are NOT talking about situations like that. You're talking about someone across the room, who you are not even bothering to help or understand, who you are picking on while the person is having a bad day. Way to go, all of you.

 

And for those of you who are so worried about things like ADD and think that everyone is making it up (which I don't think they make those things up.) Well, maybe they wouldn't be making that crap up if people would just view it as NORMAL when kids ran around and misbehaved sometimes. There would be no need for parents if kids behaved perfectly from the moment they were born.

Edited July 20, 2010 by Enchanted Girl

[BlackLovely]

Parents are responsible for raising little people, rather than little robots or maniacs. Too harsh or malleable and you're going to end up with dysfunctional adult children.

 

If you never give them choices, explain, negotiate or reason with them, they'll become either authoritarian, rebel harshly when they can or end up as nothing but doormats with no self-esteem. Worst case scenario, they end up as all three.

 

If you never give them boundaries, expecting them to figure out your moods or how to be a functioning part of society, they'll be lost, insecure and/or unmanageable. You're doing them no favours for their future happiness.

 

Also, I see many parents who do the "do what I say, not what I do" routine. In essence, you're teaching children that hypocrisy and denial are okay.

 

Being too selfish, expecting that society will help or has to put up with your piss poor parenting, will teach your children to be both victims and insufferably selfish.

 

Damn straight! Raising your children as though they are in jail (constant beatings, insults and not even allowing friends to call on the phone.) will only make them distance themselves from you when they grow up. I am an example, of what happens when mothers are cruel, vicious and blind to how good their children are.

 

My father is a living example of rampant parental hypocrisy. Out of the four children, I am the only one who is brave enough to call him on this. He used to try to comment on my "loose morals", just because I have dated more than one man in my life. Dad also cheated on my mother and whenever I reminded him of this, he shut up FAST.

 

Parents, practice what you preach.

[BlackLovely]

Wow - can we say "selfish?" Yes, we sure can.

 

Who the hell are you to tell ME that I have to put up with your screaming kids in a restaurant just because you think the best way to handle your out of control kid is to IGNORE him? And then you have the unmitigated GALL to say "tough sh*t" to those of us who become aggrevated that OUR dinner or movie or shopping experience is being ruined? Are you freakin' KIDDING me? Who gave YOU the power to determine that the rest of society can go pound salt whenever it suits you?

 

If you want to play the passive parent and ignore your kid, go right ahead - AT HOME where you're not disturbing everyone ELSE in the world.

 

It's this type of completely selfish and self-serving attitude that I can't stand. You're the type of parent that gives other parents a bad name.

 

Thank you! People choose not to have children can't stand the entitled attitude that most (not all) parents have.