Confused about his email?

[Grace]

I'm sorta hoping someone may be able to give me some insight as to what he "may" be thinking.

 

My boyfriend and I broke up about 3-1/2 months ago. We had dated for 9 months. All of a sudden he pulled away saying he needed space (I know for a fact there was no other woman) and he needed to find himself, that it had nothing to do with his feelings for me. Since then, we've had no contact.

 

On my b-day in December (2 mos after the breakup) he emailed me wishing me a happy b-day and told me a bit of what he was up to...though his email didn't really warrant a response. I pretty much emailed him back anyway and quickly... and wrote a long essay on how great my life was and tried to sound upbeat. He emailed me back saying in so many words "wow, good for you" and that was the end of the communication. I was so hurt cause he didn't seem to want to continue emailing me and wasn't trying to pursue a friendship (not that I could have handled one at that point anyway) and it was what it was...he was just saying happy birthday and didn't want anything more....unless he was trying to just keep a door open.

 

Well, it was his birthday a 1-1/2 weeks ago and I emailed him a simple happy birthday, wishing him well. It was a short, quick, email like his...not warrenting a response or anything. I've just figured it's over. Well, he got my email and waited 3 days to respond back which I thought was a positive. It meant he wanted to really think about what to write, rather than just responding back right away thanking me for my birthday wishes.

 

Anyway, his email was all about his birthday weekend, telling me that he went to dinner with the guys on his b-day and then went away for a weekend with...as he put it "The Boys"...drinking, partying and stuff. I know him well enough to know that he was trying to let me know he was still single and there is no one special in his life. He has lots of guy and female friends too. Then he told me about a funny incident that happened while he was away and then asked how I was doing. His email was very friendly compared to my bday email, which was so formal and cold.

 

Anyway, I waited 2 days to respond back, because I didn't want to seem too anxious like I had done on my bday (big mistake) and wrote a very casual simple nice email saying all was well and not giving any info. I usually email back right away, but for the first time I acted cool and casual (something I've never done before). I then ended it with "How's Mark (his best friend) doing?" I was close to his best friend at one point and he had lost his brother a while back, so I wanted to know if he was doing well. It's been 5 days and I still haven't gotten any response back. I know he's opened my email, but what do you think his deal is? I didn't mention the relationship, I didn't mention feelings...I responded back very nicely and made it quick and simple. All I asked was how his friend was? I think that warrents a response. I don't know if he's playing a game or what. Does anyone have any opinions as to what he might be thinking or doing?

[quankanne]

All I asked was how his friend was? I think that warrents a response. I don't know if he's playing a game or what. Does anyone have any opinions as to what he might be thinking or doing?

 

he's probably treating it like another piece of mail that he'll get to when he gets to it.

 

it sounds as if he's politely remembering your birthday and letting you know that he's all right, just like he hopes to hear that you're all right. Just because you ask about a friend of his doesn't mean he must reply ... even if you're dying to know how that person's doing! Remember, this is just your ex's way of remaining friendly, but not TOO friendly.

 

just chalk him up as being someone you're probably going to hear from time to time – sort of like you "check in" with each other to let you know you still think of each other, but nothing more than that. like the people you meet in college, who weren't exactly the ones you ran around with, but who feel comfortable contacting you because they came across your address or phone number, then you hear from them sporadically after that.