airjordan Posted June 27, 2010 Share Posted June 27, 2010 Hi everyone, I've been dating this girl for about a month now. I've met her family already and had no problem introducing me to her family. She always goes out with me every time I ask her to go hang out. I was going to ask her if she wanted to be my gf last night but I hesitated. Didn't know if it was too early or not. I asked her if she was ready for a relationship and she said she was, but I didn't ask the question. I really do like her a whole lot. What do you guys think? Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted June 27, 2010 Share Posted June 27, 2010 (edited) Play it cool, don't be too eager at this stage. Edited June 27, 2010 by D-Lish Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted June 27, 2010 Share Posted June 27, 2010 Play it cool, don't be too eager at this stage. THIS. At this point, she's already spending time with you and she's already acting like a girlfriend pretty much... forget the label. The conversation WILL come up eventually. Just enjoy your time with her and stop being nervous and anxious about a "relationship label". Link to post Share on other sites
Author airjordan Posted June 27, 2010 Author Share Posted June 27, 2010 Thanks guys, so I'll take it slow. But, she really thinks we're not bf or gf right now, only dating each other. Link to post Share on other sites
Author airjordan Posted June 27, 2010 Author Share Posted June 27, 2010 Yes, we've been dating each other for a month now. I don't have too much experience in dating, but we both for sure aren't dating anybody. She doesn't think we're an item because maybe I never asked her yet? Not sure what to do. Thanks guys! Link to post Share on other sites
monkey00 Posted June 27, 2010 Share Posted June 27, 2010 (edited) While this is good indication that this is leading to a LTR by default based on the actions you've provided, I think it is important to focus attention on the status of the relationship down the line. Just because a dude or girl meets each others parents and friends doesn't necessarily mean it is steering towards a LTR. Most of the time it is a good indicator or LTR...but it can't be the basis of it. But I think 1 month is too soon, I think a good time frame to approach the topic is within a few more weeks and gauge how quickly the relationship is developing if at all. Normally though if a girl is really interested in being your gf, likely she will be the one to bring it up directly or indirectly. I wouldn't worry about it too much. Have you guys slept together yet? Edited June 27, 2010 by monkey00 Link to post Share on other sites
JohnnyDrama Posted June 27, 2010 Share Posted June 27, 2010 Have to agree with a lot of people mentioning that it's important not to get wrapped up in the "label." For instance I have been seeing a girl for a few weeks we both said that whatever happens will happen we both enjoying going out with one another etc.. One of the reasons in my case is she has never really had a long term relationship so I don't want to necessarily raise expectations or take the next step. What's going on with you has some similar characteristics. Just enjoy the moment and going out with her and see where it takes you. Link to post Share on other sites
JohnM Posted June 28, 2010 Share Posted June 28, 2010 ADF thats a pretty sweeping statement about guys just wanting to jump into sex but being unwilling to commit to a relationship. In my experience the girls have been scared of me wanting to be in a relationship with them as they had commitment issues. Its not a gender issue, its an individual issue. Why attach a label if you are confident in what you have, just personally know that its a relationship with her until you feel you both need to state that in words to one another or talk about it. I dated for about 3 weeks, went the inbetween stage for about another 3 and by that point we were close enough to just be in a relationship and I bought it up to make sure she was comfortable being introduced as my girlfriend etc. But tbh by that point we were in a relationship in everything but public status. Link to post Share on other sites
evolove Posted June 28, 2010 Share Posted June 28, 2010 Have you kissed her yet? For me, the kissing and massaging comes before agreeing to stop seeing other people (which is my definition of bf/gf). If not, and you really like her, get her alone, sit down next to her, and move in for a kiss! Just lips the first time! Link to post Share on other sites
JohnnyDrama Posted June 28, 2010 Share Posted June 28, 2010 Oh, let's be honest, can we? It isn't the "label" guys have a problem with. Ever notice that when guys say they want to "take things slow," that NEVER includes sex? Oh no! Sex they want right away! Label, schmabel. What they want to delay--or better yet, avoid--is having to make any sort of commitment. However, the OP isn't like that. It sounds lihe he really does want to have a GF, not just a FWB. OP, I think you should tell this woman how you feel. I bet you won't be disappointed. Are you asking me in my case or just guys in general? I can't comment for other guys but in my case I have truly meant taking it slow, our going out has never resulted in any sexual intercourse. We both work extremely long hours and try and find time and go out and that's what we do. As for the OP I still don't see what the big hurry is, if they enjoy the company of one another then they should continue to do that. Will being called bf/gf change the dynamics in any sort of way? Link to post Share on other sites
TheWatcher Posted June 28, 2010 Share Posted June 28, 2010 Play it cool, don't be too eager at this stage. Please follow D-Lish's advice.Nothing will turn off a woman more than man who appears eager,excited or pleased to be around them. Acting aloof & disinterested (to a certain degree) will yield the desired result.Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
aerogurl87 Posted June 28, 2010 Share Posted June 28, 2010 It's been a month and that isn't too soon to bring up the discussion especially if you've already met each other's parents. No guy I've ever dated has gotten to that point, EVER! Well except my first boyfriend because he went to the same church as us, but for me meeting the parents comes when things get serious, but I digress. You two act like your exclusive, so why not just make it exclusive? A month is not too early in my opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
I'm Batman Posted June 28, 2010 Share Posted June 28, 2010 I can't comment for other guys but in my case I have truly meant taking it slow, our going out has never resulted in any sexual intercourse. We both work extremely long hours and try and find time and go out and that's what we do. As for the OP I still don't see what the big hurry is, if they enjoy the company of one another then they should continue to do that. Will being called bf/gf change the dynamics in any sort of way? I agree with Drama, why rush into something that's good? You go in fast, you come out fast! I thought a general rule for parent introduction was around the 6month mark. Pretty much when you and the gf are pretty serious and are an "item". Link to post Share on other sites
Engadget Posted June 28, 2010 Share Posted June 28, 2010 Please follow D-Lish's advice.Nothing will turn off a woman more than man who appears eager,excited or pleased to be around them. Acting aloof & disinterested (to a certain degree) will yield the desired result.Good luck. As insane as what you said sounds, its true. Women will deny it and say they want a man who's interested, but if you do that too much anywhere in the beginning you kill your chances. Link to post Share on other sites
Pfiend101 Posted June 28, 2010 Share Posted June 28, 2010 I say go for it and ask her. She said shes ready for a relationship. I dont play any games anymore. She gave you the green light when you asked her if shes ready for a relationship. Do what feels right to you. If she doesnt like it its not for you then. Im so sick of hearing about playing games. Let me pretend I'm not interested so she will like me more. Link to post Share on other sites
JohnnyDrama Posted June 28, 2010 Share Posted June 28, 2010 I agree with Drama, why rush into something that's good? You go in fast, you come out fast! I thought a general rule for parent introduction was around the 6month mark. Pretty much when you and the gf are pretty serious and are an "item". Thanks, I am not sure for parent introduction because you can meet them by just picking your date up at her house and her parents answer. It's not a huge meet and greet but you met them nonetheless. Link to post Share on other sites
Author airjordan Posted June 28, 2010 Author Share Posted June 28, 2010 Thanks for everybody's opinions. It seems like I have to wait it out for a bit from the sounds of it. It sucks because I am really into her. By the way, she's a very shy girl. Link to post Share on other sites
Pfiend101 Posted June 28, 2010 Share Posted June 28, 2010 Thanks for everybody's opinions. It seems like I have to wait it out for a bit from the sounds of it. It sucks because I am really into her. By the way, she's a very shy girl. If she's shy she probably wont bring it up. She's letting you make all the moves. Link to post Share on other sites
lab_brat Posted June 28, 2010 Share Posted June 28, 2010 I say do what feels right for you. Personally, i think a month is way long enough, and people should just stop playing all of these mind-f*ck power games in relationships. If you like someone and want to be with them, then just tell them. Yeah, don't go over the top crazy with it, but sometimes you've gotta put yourself out there a bit, and not spend so much time focusing on whats cool, and what you think you should do. I find enthusiasm (within limits) so sexy, nothing is less appealing personally than a guy that plays games and acts sooo blase and cool. If you guys weren't into each other, you wouldn'tve met each others friends and families. You like her, she likes you, just be happy and do what you think is best. Link to post Share on other sites
Author airjordan Posted June 29, 2010 Author Share Posted June 29, 2010 ok it's 50/50, it's so damn tough dating a shy girl. I want to ask her out but we'll see. Thanks guys! Link to post Share on other sites
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