heyman Posted June 28, 2010 Share Posted June 28, 2010 Hey all, I'm new around here. I'm 21 years old and my girlfriend is 19. My girlfriend and myself have been together for almost a year and a half, we met each other on an online game called World of Warcraft, we have not met in person although we often talk about it, although we are extremely close and have not gone a day without talking over the course of our relationship. Our relationship however is either hot or cold, things are either great or awful. She currently is finishing some school work that's preventing her from coming here, although I think she is insecure about her appearance (the real thing that is preventing her from wanting to meet) although I could careless and think she is beautiful the way she is. The thing is, over the course of a year she has barely touched her work. She is extremely sensitive and emotional to the point where she doesn't like me talking to other girls, but I can live with that because to I don't like her talking with guys, so we manage. However over the course of our relationship there has been a few occurrences where I have spoken to girls and hung out with them without her knowing, I have never though about or never would cheat on her and she knows that, an old friend however messaged me out of the blue one day and we got chit chatting and eventually the girl sent me a nude photo which I didn't ask for and my girlfriend totally flipped her lid, even though I told her what happened. This happened 8 months ago and she blames that for the reason why she hasn't really touched her work, and her not really trusting me. While in reality I think A LOT of it's due to her insecurity of her physical appearance. We both know she doesn't trust me and I know long distance relationships are incredibly hard to maintain when both individuals do trust each other. As of late we are constantly getting into little arguments about stupid things, which ends in us not talking for a few hours, then eventually texting or calling each other and talking things out. I really want the arguing to stop and her to visit me for at least a week or weekend, we only live about 8 hours from one another and I feel that we really need to meet, she agrees that we should meet but never really sets a date. Lately I've been questioning the fact that she really wants to be in a relationship or if she's just to scared to stop it because we've been together for so long, I don't really know what I'm looking for, just needed somewhere to vent I guess :/ (we're currently in one of our 4 hour fights :[[[[). Link to post Share on other sites
StarrySkyBlue Posted June 28, 2010 Share Posted June 28, 2010 Your girlfriend is a bit immature and the bad news is there is nothing you can do. If the other person isn't healthy, there is nothing you can do to make the relationship a healthy one. Have you sent each other pictures before? Haven't you at least talked on skype? If so, there is no reason for her to be insecure about her appearance because you already know what each other looks like. Link to post Share on other sites
JacquesA.LeFrancais Posted June 28, 2010 Share Posted June 28, 2010 Your girlfriend is a bit immature and the bad news is there is nothing you can do. If the other person isn't healthy, there is nothing you can do to make the relationship a healthy one. Have you sent each other pictures before? Haven't you at least talked on skype? If so, there is no reason for her to be insecure about her appearance because you already know what each other looks like. QFE! LDRs only work with honesty and communication. If you are available to her, you are communicative and honest then she should accept that. Are you sure she isn't hiding something worse? Like someone else? Because this sounds like something is being hidden and some "Doth protest too much" here... Link to post Share on other sites
aerogurl87 Posted June 28, 2010 Share Posted June 28, 2010 Ok screw the fact that she's insecure, you two have been "dating" for 1.5 years and have yet to meet face to face? Something is really fishy about that to me. There's no way I could date my boyfriend and not meet him face to face after 1.5 years. Three months almost drove me insane, so how you've managed to go more than a year without meeting her in the flesh is beyond me, but I digress. If she doesn't trust you, this isn't gonna work. Relationships take trust, honesty, and communication, and in LDRs those three things are even more important. Tell her she can either learn to trust you or you two can go your seperate ways, because no trust in a relationship isn't healthy along with 4 hour long fights. Link to post Share on other sites
Chilean Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 Just my personal opinion, its not a relationship if you all are at this age and have not met in person and at least had mutual physical contact (at least kissing). This seems like a dead end to me, I would encourage you to look at other options, it seems like you have a few. Link to post Share on other sites
Author heyman Posted June 29, 2010 Author Share Posted June 29, 2010 yeah, we talk on a daily basis on skype via video chat, and she really is beautiful..like it's not just me that thinks so, i'm maybe thinking that she truely doesn't trust me and doesn't know what to expect when we get here (in terms of me talking to other girls), but honestly i'm not a bad person and i love her immensely. i really think we need to physically meet, this is driving me insane :[. sorry i didn't really know what i came here looking for and honestly our situation is so complex and one of a kind that it's really hard for someone to understand, i guess i just needed to express how i feel somewhere because not everyone excepts long distance relationships, to be honest before her i didn't accept them and thought that they couldn't possibly work. Link to post Share on other sites
Author heyman Posted June 29, 2010 Author Share Posted June 29, 2010 basically the question is how can i get her to develop some sort of trust for me? Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 I wouldn't consider some one a gf until meeting. You really have to go out and meet people. You cheated when you lied to your gf about the fact you were talking to other girls. Oh and girls don't just send you nude pics out of the blue. Link to post Share on other sites
booyeah Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 how can you expect someone to trust you, when you make up false stories about other girls and tell your girlfriend how much you love some other girl and lie and tell them you stopped talking to them, and then end up talking to them behind their back and going out for dinner with them and going to the beach with them at midnight and spending the night at the girls house until the next morning behind her back, and receive multiple nude photos from more than one girl over the course of the relationship. Also find out from other girls that play World of Warcraft that you have asked them for nudes and then added them to your personal messenger, and then accept one girls webcam and pass it over to your friend that takes screenshots of some e-whore getting naked touching her boobs and shoving a dildo up her crotch, and finding that entertaining. And calling other girls for hours on the phone in the middle of the night like 2am that are super flirty and innapropriate. And then making a bunch of promises and breaking them, and telling your gf that you never do anything wrong, and playing mind games and making up lies for months and pretending to look like someone who you weren't for 10 months of the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
TMichaels Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 lol.. wuuut??? Looks to me like heyman isn't the only one in his relationship that has discovered LoveShack, LisaLee... Certainly gives new meaning to "there's two sides to every story," doesn't it? Best, TMichaels Link to post Share on other sites
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