When partner actually does leave you for OW

[Fallen Angel]

I already had found out about the OW's pregnancy and the marriage from someone else and when i confronted him about it, he pretty much denied everything. The only thing he was concerned about was how I found out and who told me. His own friend told me he thinks my ex would try and have an affair with me, hence, him texting him.

 

Nah, I have no interest in wanting to know what he wanted to discuss, maybe then i was a little curious but now, I have no interest. Since we broke up he's been lying to me still and since so I dont see why now he'd come clean all of a sudden.

 

You are still just guessing at what his intentions were/are, unless he has straight out asked you to have sex with him.

 

Honestly, I think you need to see that perhaps he was just trying to extend a hand of friendship.

 

I know that you are hurt, but relationships break up everyday. People who are dating decide regularly to see other people. That is what dating is, a trial period of sorts, to see if the person you are dating may be the one you want to spend your "forever" with.

 

I am sorry that it did not work out for you, and I am truly sorry that you are hurt, I just do not see how coming in here and slamming an "OW" (in your eyes) or your former boyfriend in a forum that is for OW/OM to use to find support for their pain and/or their happiness is helpful to the people that this forum was created to help.

 

Perhaps you should ask that your thread be moved to dating? Infidelity? Or Break-ups forums where it is more in line with the intent of the forum.

[porcupine]

Hi all...

 

I regularly come here for support, etc, but I just had to join for this thread..

 

I'm not thread-jacking, but I was in a similar situation....I was also in a committed relationship. We were togethor 5 years and delayed our wedding to save money. he started a new job3 months before our wedding and what do you know, left me 6 weeks later for a girl he worked with whose visa was running out. They got married exactly one month from our own date. We have a child togethor!

 

I was devasted. To say that his wife wasn't the OW because I hadn't gotten to the altar is really minimising how awful it is for women in committed relationships who get "pipped to the post". His present wife KNEW about our shared home, life, impending marriage and child.

 

I am well aware of what slime he is, and how he must have spun a neat story of our "bad relationship", but I still hope she gets all that's coming to her.

 

You don't have to be married to be the victim of an affair. I know how easy it is for women to fall into OW status, but it doesn't mean just cos he's not married he's fair game. That's awful.

[Fallen Angel]

I was devasted. To say that his wife wasn't the OW because I hadn't gotten to the altar is really minimising how awful it is for women in committed relationships who get "pipped to the post". His present wife KNEW about our shared home, life, impending marriage and child..

 

How is it any different from people here minimizing the relationships that exist between an MM and his OW? The general consensus here is that if there is no marriage certificate, it is not a real relationship. You can't have it both ways!!

 

There are women here in long term (longer than either you or the OP were in), loving relationships with men who are told regularly that their relationship doesn't count. How do you explain the hypocracy inherent in that duality of thinking?

 

 

 

You don't have to be married to be the victim of an affair. I know how easy it is for women to fall into OW status, but it doesn't mean just cos he's not married he's fair game. That's awful.

 

Fair game? Do you imagine she hunted him? Perhaps it was the other way around, it most often is.

 

But again, you can't have it both ways. Without the marriage certificate he is simply dating you. As long as he is single he is free to walk away at anytime, and if you have been reading here for awhile you will see that the general consensus is that if you are hurt, it is your own doing. You believed what he said to you, you believed when he said he loved you and you believed all the promises he made; therefore you are a victim of your own making. Because unless there is a marriage license you have no right to expect him to be honest with you.

 

Truth is, I think what happened to you is horrible. Truth is I do feel for your pain and I am sorry that you hurt and wish I knew someway to make it better. But the point is, that while I can sympathize and empathize with you and your pain, you appear to be unable to do the same for someone else, hence the line "I still hope she gets all that's coming to her."

 

Just what exactly do you think she has coming to her? She too simply trusted a man who told her he loved her, and the promises he made her. How is she any "less than" than you are? :confused:

[HappyAtLast]

 

You don't have to be married to be the victim of an affair. I know how easy it is for women to fall into OW status, but it doesn't mean just cos he's not married he's fair game. That's awful.

 

As a man (and an old one at that) I will take issue with your last sentence. When a man loves a woman, he marries her. It is that simple. I met my OW whilst at the tail end of a bad marriage. I filed for divorce and that very day put a ring on her finger. I married her the week after my divorce was final.

 

I understand that it hurts to find out your partner is dating another, and I certainly don't intend to minimize that. But to say that because someone is not married they are not fair game I would have to disagree with that. If a woman is important enough to a man he will marry her, hence removing her from the market.

[BeagleGal]

Oh porcupine, I am sorry to hear what's happened with you especially with you and your ex having had a child together. I hope you're doing well or at least on the road to recovery.

 

I absolutely agree with what you say. I've never had anyone minimise my situation till now on this site. And I have to say I was a bit shocked b/c why can't I feel just as betrayed or hurt over what my ex did to me? So what if we weren't married? So what if we didn't have a child together? The point is he committed himself to me. We had plans for the future, there were plans to get married, there were plans to renovate our house and to move into something bigger, I helped raised his son while he lived with us when the boy's mom sent the boy... I can go on and on. The fact of the matter is that it was an exclusive relationship and a committed one and again, I have every right to feel the way I do despite what a few poeple on here think. Doesnt matter.

 

Anyways, I can feel myself getting defensive again and I just dont want to keep explaining myself or defending my position. I stand by how I feel and that's that.

 

porcupine, chin up, sweetheart...

 

Hi all...

 

I regularly come here for support, etc, but I just had to join for this thread..

 

I'm not thread-jacking, but I was in a similar situation....I was also in a committed relationship. We were togethor 5 years and delayed our wedding to save money. he started a new job3 months before our wedding and what do you know, left me 6 weeks later for a girl he worked with whose visa was running out. They got married exactly one month from our own date. We have a child togethor!

 

I was devasted. To say that his wife wasn't the OW because I hadn't gotten to the altar is really minimising how awful it is for women in committed relationships who get "pipped to the post". His present wife KNEW about our shared home, life, impending marriage and child.

 

I am well aware of what slime he is, and how he must have spun a neat story of our "bad relationship", but I still hope she gets all that's coming to her.

 

You don't have to be married to be the victim of an affair. I know how easy it is for women to fall into OW status, but it doesn't mean just cos he's not married he's fair game. That's awful.

[Silly_Girl]

No, some people can't afford it, or choose not to recognise something religious, or don't want to feel bound by society's rules, yet are in a committed relationship and have stated their intention to stay together, for ever.

 

Having a child together is THE biggest commitment in the world, to the child and each other.

[BeagleGal]

Fallen Angel: I've asked to have this moved to the forum you suggested. Thank you.

 

You are still just guessing at what his intentions were/are, unless he has straight out asked you to have sex with him.

 

Honestly, I think you need to see that perhaps he was just trying to extend a hand of friendship.

 

I know that you are hurt, but relationships break up everyday. People who are dating decide regularly to see other people. That is what dating is, a trial period of sorts, to see if the person you are dating may be the one you want to spend your "forever" with.

 

I am sorry that it did not work out for you, and I am truly sorry that you are hurt, I just do not see how coming in here and slamming an "OW" (in your eyes) or your former boyfriend in a forum that is for OW/OM to use to find support for their pain and/or their happiness is helpful to the people that this forum was created to help.

 

Perhaps you should ask that your thread be moved to dating? Infidelity? Or Break-ups forums where it is more in line with the intent of the forum.

[BeagleGal]

I would if I was still at the house. He had me out in a blink of an eye so I'm in a new place. So I have no worries there, but thanks! I think really the only thing I need to do is block his number. Thanks...

 

Just thought of something. If you haven't already done so, change the locks on all the doors. If you have a garage with an automatic opener, change the programming code on that, too. Eliminate all the ways he could try to worm his way back into your life.

[BeagleGal]

Silly_Girl: Agree and its a SHAME how some people take that kind of commitment and responsibility lightly...

If I told about one incident that my ex did re his son shortly after we broke up, oh man... Anyways... again... its a shame when someone is so selfish and so caught up in their own **** that the child suffers...

 

 

No, some people can't afford it, or choose not to recognise something religious, or don't want to feel bound by society's rules, yet are in a committed relationship and have stated their intention to stay together, for ever.

 

Having a child together is THE biggest commitment in the world, to the child and each other.

[HappyAtLast]

BeagleGal -

 

If you owned a home together, why is it that "he had you out of there"? How is this possible? Out of consideration for you and the hurt he caused, considering he was the one that decided your relationship was over, should he not have been the one to leave? That certainly would have been the gentlemanly thing to do.

[porcupine]

As a man (and an old one at that) I will take issue with your last sentence. When a man loves a woman, he marries her. It is that simple. I met my OW whilst at the tail end of a bad marriage. I filed for divorce and that very day put a ring on her finger. I married her the week after my divorce was final.

 

I understand that it hurts to find out your partner is dating another, and I certainly don't intend to minimize that. But to say that because someone is not married they are not fair game I would have to disagree with that. If a woman is important enough to a man he will marry her, hence removing her from the market.

 

Well Happy...marriage may mean one thing to you and something else to another. My ex is hanging around me like a bad smell so I guess his marriage (as I knew) means very little. Good luck to him.

 

If a woman is important enough her man will stick by her. Regardless of wedding rings. A committed relationship will survive. As for taking people off the market, all the threads here show that it doesn't always work.

 

Still, I respect the love you have for your wife. I hope all is well and ends well with you

 

@ beagle......taking it one day at a time. Every time he begs me for a second chance, I remember the smug look on her face from their wedding photos. Better her than me. I wouldn't have been so disgusted with her if she had just waited. She also says..well, you weren't married, but did that mean she couldn't wait until he was out of our home?

 

There's no excusing it.

[BeagleGal]

That's the thing - he's not a gentleman. Its all a facade. In reality, he's a selfish, inconsiderate jackass.

 

I believe he rushed me out b/c the new girl had just told him she was pregnant and probably was putting some kind of pressure on him. I'm assuming, of course. So I guess due to that "pressure" he had to get rid of me. Regardless of the fact that I had no place of my own to go to seeing as he "gave" me 2 weeks to get out after our breakup.

 

No consideration at all for me, obviously. Its all about him..

 

 

BeagleGal -

 

If you owned a home together, why is it that "he had you out of there"? How is this possible? Out of consideration for you and the hurt he caused, considering he was the one that decided your relationship was over, should he not have been the one to leave? That certainly would have been the gentlemanly thing to do.

Edited July 2, 2010 by BeagleGal

[HappyAtLast]

Was this not a home that you jointly owned?

[BeagleGal]

It was his home when I moved in and after discussing finances and paperwork, my name being added to it and blah, blah, blah... it did become ours...

 

But still... no matter to him.

 

Was this not a home that you jointly owned?

[BeagleGal]

porcupine: I agree. I've been married before and my ex-H was a douche as well in the end. Cheated and he was starting to get a bit abusive. So I checked out of that one! Since then, I've always been on the fence of remarrying. I knew that my ex-BF was married as well when he was young due to his GF getting pregnant but he upped and left her with the baby...

So he and I didn't place too much importance/pressure/rush on getting married soon - we were happy with the way our relationship was.

 

Well obviously his wife has no decency or consideration for you and your child. That's what I think at least. She could have waited for sure, she just chose not to. Did she need her citizenship renewed that badly?? Sheesh...

 

You are better off, you know it. Let him carry on and let him continue begging. Dont give in. He proved to you by cheating on you and leaving you that he's scum and he's proving it again by begging you for a second chance behind her back. You just concentrate on yourself, your child and things will fall into place. I'm sure of it. I think it takes time as we both know but in the end, it'll be all worth it.

 

Well Happy...marriage may mean one thing to you and something else to another. My ex is hanging around me like a bad smell so I guess his marriage (as I knew) means very little. Good luck to him.

 

If a woman is important enough her man will stick by her. Regardless of wedding rings. A committed relationship will survive. As for taking people off the market, all the threads here show that it doesn't always work.

 

Still, I respect the love you have for your wife. I hope all is well and ends well with you

 

@ beagle......taking it one day at a time. Every time he begs me for a second chance, I remember the smug look on her face from their wedding photos. Better her than me. I wouldn't have been so disgusted with her if she had just waited. She also says..well, you weren't married, but did that mean she couldn't wait until he was out of our home?

 

There's no excusing it.

[OWoman]

It seems to me from this:

 

We were together 2 years, lived together for one...

 

When we broke up after his trip to Jamaica (which I found out he took the OW with him)... he told someone at work (we all work for same company) that he was seeing someone...

 

Later that month (this just happened in Apr) I find out not only had he been cheating on me for months but that this OW also got pregnant and they are now getting married end of July...

 

...that BG was seeing it as a long-term committed R, while her xBF was seeing it as just another bus stop on his journey to finding "the one" - same as, presumably, the mother of his child was. Perhaps things will be different with his fiancee - but there seems little indication that he's ready to move into the commitment league if he can't even handle the break-up with his xGF (BG) properly: it all just seems like he's muddling along from one stop to the next, hoping somewhere along the line things will fall into place.

 

It does seem a bit disruptive for the kid, though - I missed if there was any mention of how old he was; but being exposed to a succession of "dad's latest GFs" is unlikely to count as a stable basis particularly if he's moving them all in to the home he's raising his son in. It would make more sense to me, as a parent, for him to let his son's mother have custody if he wants to live with his succession of GFs, or else to live alone with his son and only to move a GF in when he's as sure as he can be that it's going to be as close to permanent as he can imagine. No point in letting the kid bond with someone and then telling him, sorry dude, but she's history, meet my new GF instead.

 

This whole thing could have been handled a whole lot better.

[Mimolicious]

How is it any different from people here minimizing the relationships that exist between an MM and his OW? The general consensus here is that if there is no marriage certificate, it is not a real relationship. You can't have it both ways!!

 

 

Oh wonderful!

 

Same people that say "just because you have a piece of paper, doesn't mean you really have a relationship with your H/W". So which one is it? Becasue you can't have it both ways!!!

[Mimolicious]

BeagleGal -

 

If you owned a home together, why is it that "he had you out of there"? How is this possible? Out of consideration for you and the hurt he caused, considering he was the one that decided your relationship was over, should he not have been the one to leave? That certainly would have been the gentlemanly thing to do.

 

Sorry, not every man is "gentleman". Know a few that have done the same, even if they were the ones ending the M. He had her out the house because she allowed him to do so. I have a friend that is going through this right now. Baffles me how some people can be so spineless.

[BeagleGal]

You are probably right. I definitely saw it as a long-term committed R, I thought he did too by talks we had, and how he expressed his feelings for me and promises he made...

I highly doubt he'll be different with fiancee. He has quite the history of loving and leaving woman (isnt funny how ppl are willing to tell you things they should have told you BEFORE so you could have avoided getting involved seriously to begin with). And behind his fiancee's back had been texting me and even drunk dialling me.

 

His son is 10 years old. And I totally agree that parading girl after girl to the boy is not good. Well, here's the thing: the boy's mom, up until Jan 2009, always had primary custody of the boy and my ex had him every other weekend. In Jan 2009, the boy's mom told my ex that she was planning to move to Floriday for 6 months and said she couldnt take the boy with her so my ex would have to have him during the time she was away. So we had him for 6 months and then the boy went back home to his mom when the school year ended. The boy's mom never went to Florida. She was in town all along. A week before new school year started in Sep of same year, boy's mom called ex again and said that boy is being sent back to live with us. My ex was furious. Saw it as a bit of an inconvenience but had the boy move back in. I dont know what her reason was this time to have him move in 2nd time but the boy's mom has her own issues with my ex and I believe its due to her relationship with him/the way he left her and she's resentful of him.

 

So it seems like both parents are all over the place and this poor boy is caught in the middle. Its almost like he's been cast aside/bouncing from mom's home to dad's esp after his mom had 2 other kids with her current partner. And now with my ex having another kid, who knows where the boy will end up... its just sad all around for him. The boy and I had a good relationship and he trusted me and we used to have our chats before I tucked him into bed when his dad wasn't around.. it was nice.

 

Anyways, I agree this whole thing could have been handled a lot better. Its just a damn shame.

 

It seems to me from this:

 

 

 

...that BG was seeing it as a long-term committed R, while her xBF was seeing it as just another bus stop on his journey to finding "the one" - same as, presumably, the mother of his child was. Perhaps things will be different with his fiancee - but there seems little indication that he's ready to move into the commitment league if he can't even handle the break-up with his xGF (BG) properly: it all just seems like he's muddling along from one stop to the next, hoping somewhere along the line things will fall into place.

 

It does seem a bit disruptive for the kid, though - I missed if there was any mention of how old he was; but being exposed to a succession of "dad's latest GFs" is unlikely to count as a stable basis particularly if he's moving them all in to the home he's raising his son in. It would make more sense to me, as a parent, for him to let his son's mother have custody if he wants to live with his succession of GFs, or else to live alone with his son and only to move a GF in when he's as sure as he can be that it's going to be as close to permanent as he can imagine. No point in letting the kid bond with someone and then telling him, sorry dude, but she's history, meet my new GF instead.

 

This whole thing could have been handled a whole lot better.

[BeagleGal]

Oh boy... okay... Mimo, you are right... I dont think I'm spineless but in the end, I decided to leave the house, which is fine b/c things were getting worse and in the end, I'm glad I left.

 

Sorry, not every man is "gentleman". Know a few that have done the same, even if they were the ones ending the M. He had her out the house because she allowed him to do so. I have a friend that is going through this right now. Baffles me how some people can be so spineless.

[Mimolicious]

Oh boy... okay... Mimo, you are right... I dont think I'm spineless but in the end, I decided to leave the house, which is fine b/c things were getting worse and in the end, I'm glad I left.

 

 

By no means do I know your 411 to the T. I want to say that if you had purchased this home together and you were fully invested in this property, you wouldn't just walk out because your exBF had another chick ready to move in. Whether you are married or not, but that is another topic.

As to what you said this was already his home, I can see why he asked you to leave. Doesn't make him a true gentleman but I can understand what his motives may be as the "owner". As a man... not so. He got you out because you respected his request, probably didn't put up a fight, packed your things and left.

 

To be honest, I didn't call you "spineless", I said it with my BFF in mind. She is married, I think her H has a hidden agenda, out of the blue told her he wants out of the M and on top asked her to leave the apt that they both got together. He's going on "VACATION" tomorrow and asked her to be out of the apt by the time he gets back. She is packing as we speak...

WHY? Because she doesn't have a backbone and tells him "You want to end things? Ok, YOU PACK YOUR ISH AND GET THAT FACK OUT! OR BETTER YET STAY AT YOUR VACATION! GOODBYE!".

 

I had to go back and actually read FA's post one more time. I GOT THE LOL's . Unreal how opinions get custom-fitted around here.

[BeagleGal]

You know what it was, Mimo, it was the WAY he got me out. I mean, okay, relationship is over, what can I do, you've made your choice. But dont discard me like I'm trash, dont disrespect me and treat me like I'm the bad guy. I had no place to go! That's what killed me! I applied all over town for a place but it was such short notice and a lot of apts were renting for the following month (may 1). I did all this cuz he said he didnt want to drag this out any longer and make it worse. So I packed my stuff and stayed with friends, family, even my boss!

 

But yes as the "owner" if the tables were turned, I would have wanted him out quickly but I would have been nice about it esp if its me putting him out of a place to stay. As a man, he didnt have the decency to not only come clean as to why he wanted out of the relationship but didnt have the common courtesy to treat me with respect and to sympathize that he had just put me in a bad position and I had to scramble to find a place.

 

And even after I moved out, my ex was going on about how after we "live apart", he's going to still see me lots, we'll be going out on dates, he couldnt see why down the road us moving into a new, bigger house... and all the while, he was already involved with his new girl and she was pregnant! (I didnt know then though).

 

Anyways, re your BFF... I would put up a bit of a fight esp with how shady her hubby is acting. Its obvious he's up to no good... I think you should give her some of your spine!

 

Yeah, its very hard sometimes to decipher the tones of things that are posted. That's why I try not to get all defensive or angry over something I read...

 

 

By no means do I know your 411 to the T. I want to say that if you had purchased this home together and you were fully invested in this property, you wouldn't just walk out because your exBF had another chick ready to move in. Whether you are married or not, but that is another topic.

As to what you said this was already his home, I can see why he asked you to leave. Doesn't make him a true gentleman but I can understand what his motives may be as the "owner". As a man... not so. He got you out because you respected his request, probably didn't put up a fight, packed your things and left.

 

To be honest, I didn't call you "spineless", I said it with my BFF in mind. She is married, I think her H has a hidden agenda, out of the blue told her he wants out of the M and on top asked her to leave the apt that they both got together. He's going on "VACATION" tomorrow and asked her to be out of the apt by the time he gets back. She is packing as we speak...

WHY? Because she doesn't have a backbone and tells him "You want to end things? Ok, YOU PACK YOUR ISH AND GET THAT FACK OUT! OR BETTER YET STAY AT YOUR VACATION! GOODBYE!".

 

I had to go back and actually read FA's post one more time. I GOT THE LOL's . Unreal how opinions get custom-fitted around here.

Edited July 2, 2010 by BeagleGal

[OWoman]

The boy and I had a good relationship and he trusted me and we used to have our chats before I tucked him into bed when his dad wasn't around.. it was nice.

 

That's what got to me. It's fine for your x to move on when he decides he's ready for Ms Next - but it's not fair on the boy, who's bonded with you, who doesn't understand why you're not around anymore and is now facing Ms Next (and a new sibling). And it also leaves you with a boy-sized hole in your life, irrespective of your R with his father.

 

Anyways, I agree this whole thing could have been handled a lot better. Its just a damn shame.

 

Absolutely. No one can be left feeling good out of this

[porcupine]

How is it any different from people here minimizing the relationships that exist between an MM and his OW? The general consensus here is that if there is no marriage certificate, it is not a real relationship. You can't have it both ways!!

 

What way do I want it? All any of us want is honesty. If a person says they're committed, rings or not, then d-nit, stick to it.

 

There are women here in long term (longer than either you or the OP were in), loving relationships with men who are told regularly that their relationship doesn't count. How do you explain the hypocracy inherent in that duality of thinking?

 

Of course their relationships count. Affairs, marriage, friendship...they're all *real* relationships. All valid. Doesn't change the fact that some people have no great regard for the pain their actions can deliver. I'm not saying which falls into which category cos I don't know everyone's situation, but I know that things are always easier when there's only two people involved. Less messy.

 

 

 

Fair game? Do you imagine she hunted him? Perhaps it was the other way around, it most often is.

 

Ya, you're right. He DID pursue her. So what? He obviously had no respect for me, our child or himself placing all four of us in that situation. he's not a nice person, but like I said, whatever happened to waiting for the coast to be clear? She avoided me like the plague until the rings were exchanged.

 

But again, you can't have it both ways. Without the marriage certificate he is simply dating you. As long as he is single he is free to walk away at anytime, and if you have been reading here for awhile you will see that the general consensus is that if you are hurt, it is your own doing. You believed what he said to you, you believed when he said he loved you and you believed all the promises he made; therefore you are a victim of your own making. Because unless there is a marriage license you have no right to expect him to be honest with you.

 

???? He wasn't single, and co-habiting isn't "dating". I'm a victim as much as she is then...maybe even more because I have a child.

 

Truth is, I think what happened to you is horrible. Truth is I do feel for your pain and I am sorry that you hurt and wish I knew someway to make it better. But the point is, that while I can sympathize and empathize with you and your pain, you appear to be unable to do the same for someone else, hence the line "I still hope she gets all that's coming to her."

 

Just what exactly do you think she has coming to her? She too simply trusted a man who told her he loved her, and the promises he made her. How is she any "less than" than you are? :confused:

 

I'm not "better" than her or whatever There's no such thing.

[Mimolicious]

You know what it was, Mimo, it was the WAY he got me out. I mean, okay, relationship is over, what can I do, you've made your choice. But dont discard me like I'm trash, dont disrespect me and treat me like I'm the bad guy. I had no place to go! That's what killed me! I applied all over town for a place but it was such short notice and a lot of apts were renting for the following month (may 1). I did all this cuz he said he didnt want to drag this out any longer and make it worse. So I packed my stuff and stayed with friends, family, even my boss!

 

But yes as the "owner" if the tables were turned, I would have wanted him out quickly but I would have been nice about it esp if its me putting him out of a place to stay. As a man, he didnt have the decency to not only come clean as to why he wanted out of the relationship but didnt have the common courtesy to treat me with respect and to sympathize that he had just put me in a bad position and I had to scramble to find a place.

 

And even after I moved out, my ex was going on about how after we "live apart", he's going to still see me lots, we'll be going out on dates, he couldnt see why down the road us moving into a new, bigger house... and all the while, he was already involved with his new girl and she was pregnant! (I didnt know then though).

 

Anyways, re your BFF... I would put up a bit of a fight esp with how shady her hubby is acting. Its obvious he's up to no good... I think you should give her some of your spine!

 

Yeah, its very hard sometimes to decipher the tones of things that are posted. That's why I try not to get all defensive or angry over something I read...

 

I feel you. It's heartless and too drastic to leave someone that supposedly you "loved" in the dust just because...

 

My BFF's H sounds like your exBF, pressed to get her out of the house. Screams "doing dirt" all over!!!!!!