You Go Girl Posted September 17, 2010 Share Posted September 17, 2010 YGG: You were right. Now she's putting in a motion in court to keep me from moving in this weekend. She still doesn't want the house, but wants to keep it until the divorce is final. Well my lawyer will fight this since I have a lot of expenses due to me living outside the home. Plus the judge never signed our temp consent order for he to have use of the house during the separation. the problem is for four months she's been living there and I have been away in my apartment. BUT, if I'm to get the house eventually then wouldn't the judge want the kids to get into that eventual routine now rather than later? I guess I have to wait for the judge to decide....it sucks living in an apartment while she lives in a 3000 sq ft house. The judge will not make any decisions based on final outcome at this point. Therefore, the judge does not see the house as a path for you to live there with the kids. You have essentially abandoned the home, so it is more in your tbx's favor to live there with the kids at this point. Now what is this about you moving in this weekend? Did you tell her that you were moving back home? If she doesn't want the house, now is the time to bring this to the judge's attention if you do want it. Have your attorney handle this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HopelessinDTW Posted September 17, 2010 Author Share Posted September 17, 2010 The judge will not make any decisions based on final outcome at this point. Therefore, the judge does not see the house as a path for you to live there with the kids. You have essentially abandoned the home, so it is more in your tbx's favor to live there with the kids at this point. Now what is this about you moving in this weekend? Did you tell her that you were moving back home? If she doesn't want the house, now is the time to bring this to the judge's attention if you do want it. Have your attorney handle this. YGG: When she offered me the house a couple of weeks ago, I spent the weekend going through the numbers. I decided to take the house. But with taking it I also requested that I move in this coming weekend, that she repay me for the expenses I have incurred while being away. We have both also informally agreed that we would have 50/50 time with the kids (recorded by the Friend of the Court), as such I suggested that we start the 50/50 time with the kids now so that they can get into the routine (i.e. me being in the marital home, and having half time with me and her) that will be in place after the divorce. I thought it would be best for the kids to start that now rather than later, since that's what's going to happen anyways. Plus why would she offer the house to me NOW, if she hasn't already secured a place? Her lawyer told mine that she's looking for a low maintenence condo. So after seeing boxes being loaded in the house, I assumed that she was moving or at least moving her stuff there. I know I screwed up by leaving the house in the first place. I left initialyl with the understanding that she needed space, and that we were going to work on ourselves. Then I found out about the OM/PA, by then I had already lived out of the house for a month. But circumstances as they are now should give me a good chance to move in. My lawyer will fight for this...we'll see what the judge says?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author HopelessinDTW Posted September 23, 2010 Author Share Posted September 23, 2010 Well looks like she's taking just about everything in the house without even asking me!!! I went into the house today, and it looked like it was raided! I took pictures of all the stuff that remains. She has an apartment now, and has told me that she is going to move out. At the same time, we will be in court on Monday for an emergency meeting she's set up to get exclusive use of the house? She told me her lawyer does not respond to her...hmm maybe because you've been lying to him. Anyways, not sure what I'll be able to recover that she's taken. Most of it is stuff I can replace at some point...she's even taking the kids' bed. I'd like to know what my chances are in recovering the items she's taken, or at least getting the monatary value for them? Link to post Share on other sites
Author HopelessinDTW Posted November 30, 2010 Author Share Posted November 30, 2010 Well looks like she's taking just about everything in the house without even asking me!!! I went into the house today, and it looked like it was raided! I took pictures of all the stuff that remains. She has an apartment now, and has told me that she is going to move out. At the same time, we will be in court on Monday for an emergency meeting she's set up to get exclusive use of the house? She told me her lawyer does not respond to her...hmm maybe because you've been lying to him. Anyways, not sure what I'll be able to recover that she's taken. Most of it is stuff I can replace at some point...she's even taking the kids' bed. I'd like to know what my chances are in recovering the items she's taken, or at least getting the monatary value for them? Well, haven't posted in a while...Many things have happened since...We will be going through mediation tomorrow to decide in child custody and property division. Biggest contention will be with child custody...I want 50/50 time, she wants more time. I am back in the marital home since Oct. I replaced many of the items she took away. I can care less about the material things...I just want to have time with the kids. If we all come to an agreement tomorrow, then the divorce will be final before x-mas. I just want to move on with my life and have an equitable divorce....hope for the best. All I can say is the last 6 months of separation and the divorce process has shown me how unfair life can be. At the same time, I have become a stronger person, a better father, and hopefully at some point happier than before. I have also lost 40lbs, and still losing weight. I feel physically stronger than ever. I feel like I want to be in a relationship, but when logic kicks in I tell myself it's too soon. But I can see that eventually I'll get there. My stbx is still unreasonable, and I realize that she was not the right person for me. She is a lier, and cannot see past her own needs. Oh well, so be it. I can only control myself. I want to thank all the people here on LS for getting me through these past few months, and giving me advice. We all have had our lives turned upside down, but through time and understanding there is no reason why we cannot right side our lives and move ahead. I see that as a process that I will be working through for many months to come. I hope all gets resolved tomorrow and I can post here with the result...wish me luck!! Link to post Share on other sites
You Go Girl Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 Hope things go well for you, DTW. Sounds like your view is positive and upbeat, glad to see that in you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HopelessinDTW Posted November 30, 2010 Author Share Posted November 30, 2010 Hope things go well for you, DTW. Sounds like your view is positive and upbeat, glad to see that in you. Well done with the mediation, and all went fairly well. I got the most important thing, and that was as much time with the kids as possible...pretty much 50/50. The property also split 50/50 more or less...I'm content with the outcome, and now can live my life!!! I want to thank you so much for getting me through these past 6 months...you are a voice of reason and gave me HOPE...even though it all seemed HOPELESS!! All that remains now is the judge to rubber stamp it... Link to post Share on other sites
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