Engagement ring dilemma - Help, please!!

[rileyohare]

[font=times new roman][/font][color=black][/color]I feel like such a horrible person - I don't like the engagement ring my boyfriend bought for me! And I don't know what to do. Its not exactly that its ugly, I could easily live with wearing it... its just nothing I would ever pick out. I knew what I wanted in a ring, or at least an idea - and I told him, because he asked... but he decided that since he didn't have enough money right now, that he'd just go out and get something else. He doesn't believe in spending a lot of money on the ring, which is fine - I don't need/want a extravagant ring - I just wanted some say in it! I wanted a princess cut, and he knew this. I feel like he listened to everything I wanted, and then got what he wanted. Him and I aren't engaged yet, and I love this guy sooooooooo much! We already had an arguement about the ring, because he went out and bought it when I didn't want him to (due to money and that I was there to help him/point out things - we are in a long distance relationship) I know he spent so much time searching the internet for the ring... and everything - and that means to world to me that he did... and I did already say that it wasn't anything (I saw it this weekend) I would ever pick out, but since its from him I love it. Which is true. I'll wear anything from him... its just... I don't know - I feel like such a horrible person, I love this guy, and I don't want to hurt his feelings... should I not bring up the subject again, and just live with the ring? Or should I tell him nicely how I feel again??

[lostforwords]

should I not bring up the subject again, and just live with the ring?

 

yes.... appreciate he got you a ring and leave it at that.... your engagement ring is a mere symbol.... your love and his feelings are for real.... why center it around a ring.... perhaps when/if you guys decide to get married your wedding band will outshine your engagement ring.

[Tonysweetie]

I have your exact problem except I did pick out my ring and this is the one I picked out and he did propose with it and I'm waering it. Don't get me wrong I love love love my ring so much but now that I have it I want something different. I knew FH didn't have a lot of money to spend on a big diamond so I settled with this ring (3 stoned ring) but now that he does have money to pay for one before our wedding roles around I want a solitare diamond. I brought this up to FH and he agreed I should get what i want. So were doing my wedding ring backwards were turnin gmy e-ring into my wedding band which I will wear up to the wedding day (3/26/05) and he is making payments on a 1/2 carat marquise diamond ring which i love and want so bad! and he will give me that ring on our wedding day in place of my wedding bad. I know it makes no sense but we talked over it and he wants me to be happy plus he wantedto buy me a bigger diamond. So it actually works out. I would just talk to him but I wouldn't tell him you don't like it. I love my ring I just wanted something idfferent. Remember it isn't about the ring its about you getting engaged and getting married to the man you love. Good Luck! ~God Bless~

[wiseOLDman]

Lot's of interesting posts like this one. Since my wife and I picked out our rings together, I can't relate to the problem. However, I would like to make an observation. The members here at LS consistently preach, and rightfully so, how important communication is in a relationship. Sounds like you have your first test here rileyohare. If it's so difficult to have a conversation with your fiance about the ring, how difficult is it going to be to have a conversation with him about something really important 1, 2, 3, + years down the line?

 

Just a thought to ponder.

[carla]

Be happy with the ring that you have. I wouldn't say anything more about it. For your wedding bands you can both pick them out together. Besides who knows what he has planned for your 1st, 5th, 10th, 25th anniversary gift. It's the thought and the love that went into it that counts.