What does marriage feel like?

[BlackLovely]

I have been living with my fiance since November of 2009. We will be getting married in October of this year. We have always felt like "official" spouses to each other, even though we have only been common law.

 

My question is: What are the emotional changes for a couple that has married after living together? What does being married actually feel like?

[Ronni_W]

Of course, it's different for each individual as well as for the entity that becomes the 'married couple'. But it can be extremely weird, the subconscious crap that can be stirred-up once that tiny piece of paper is signed. Old, outdated, unhelpful, misguided "programming" that all-of-a-sudden becomes activated. It can be small and silly, though, and easily rectified; it's not necessarily all drama and crisis.

 

Being conscious that it can happen is, IMO, a good thing. And then just staying vigilant after the honeymoon, and observing that your own attitudes and behaviour stay consistent with those you demonstrated pre-wedding. And having this conversation with your future spouse, and asking for and promising to help the other.

 

To me, it is a good idea for both to read, "Forgive for Love" by Fred Luskin, BEFORE the wedding. (I wish we woulda done that.) And, for the future bride, also 'Marriage Shock: The Transformation of Women into Wives' by Dalma Heyn. (I wish I woulda done that, though not sure what, if any, influence it may or may not have had in how I did my real life/marriage.) On sale for U$5 and U$2, respectively, + shipping, at BookCloseOuts.com

 

The actual 'feeling', though, is really very delightful