thoughts on this

[somuchforthat]

Hi All,

 

i have been lurking these sites on occasion. I am on a long path for education, i already have my bachelors and will be looking at more schooling about 6 more years or so. I am 23 yo virgin at the moment and i have had only one relationship in my whole life...i think it was a relationship? It lasted three weeks ( two weeks and 6 days ) and then i got dumped bc the girl realized that her religion was more important to her. When i moved up to the big city after college i meet a group of people ( my ex was part of this group) so we all hung out as a group so she knew my my stance on religion ( kind of a atheist). My point here is that its not like it was new information to her that i was religious or not or that i was not the same religion as her. Anyway it ended and the only way was her way or the highway ( she wanted me to convert otherwise it was over). So that was my first ever relatiosnhip at 21 years of age..... it was a hard few months after it ended. i have been single since then

 

anyway here are just some of my thoughts/concerns

 

I will be a older once i am settled and the prospects of finding someone at that age become harder and harder bc most women by then are already taken and the ones that are left are the ones who are divorced who got married early who have kids or those who have slept around and want to settle now ( these are generalizations and do not apply to everyone of course). Every day i see people w their so's (significant others) and i have been basically single my whole life. Its starting to drive me a little crazy. Its starting to affect my ability to focus on my studies. Some days are better than others i dont feel as lonely but sometimes its pretty bad. I try and think positive and tell myself dont worry about these things they will sort themselves out ( kinda a vague reassruance ofcourse). My friends say you are a great guy and this n that n that i will find someone someday etc... really these comments dont really help me. I try my best to not focus on it but i cant help it sometimes my mind just brings it up!

 

My former roommates gf's friend told her that she though i was cute and other friends friends have said something long those lines also.

 

Plus it seems like being a vigrin at that age bracket isnt looked upon as a good thing really because it means there is something wrong w the guy. Not only the virigin part but also having little relationship experience is not looked at as a good thing. Most view it as some sort of social issue in terms of communicationg and behaviior? Most of my freinds are already w someone, engaged and or married too.

 

I don't know what i should be doing to help my mind focus on my studies. While in college this was on my mind a little bit too but it never had any influence on my productivity but lately its been pretty bad. I cant really focus well anymore... i have tried and tired. Any good suggestions? I try and hang out with my friends and be social and all but it doesn't seem to be helping that much.

 

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

somuchforthat

[Shakz]

I would say your friends are right, but isince it's obviously bothering you maybe you could, oh I don't know, ask someone out? it won't interfer with your studies anymore than your anxiety already has.