Marty_McFly Posted February 3, 2004 Share Posted February 3, 2004 OK, so I've gone out with this girl about once a week for the last three weeks, and we also occasionally talk on the phone or have "email conversations" while at work. Nothing too serious, and I honestly don't know if it ever will get real serious, I'm just enjoying getting to know her and spending some time with her. Anyway, I'm wondering how Valentine's day fits into this whole equation. Am I obligated to go out with her that day? If we do go out, what's an OK way to acknowledge the holiday without being too sappy or sending a message I may not want to send? I'm also tempted to just go out with my other single friends that night, especially since I recently got out of a LTR and I actually had some very big plans for that day before the split, so I don't know if I could really be "mentally there" on a date that night anyway. But if I don't ask her out that day, will I look like a major jerk? Link to post Share on other sites
DonTomaso Posted February 3, 2004 Share Posted February 3, 2004 You could tell her you already have plans on Valentine's day and ask her out the day after. Then you could take her to dinner or whatever and give her a small Valentine's present... nothing big... jut a gesture to let her know that you are interested in her. Link to post Share on other sites
Darkangelism Posted February 4, 2004 Share Posted February 4, 2004 Are you interested in her? Link to post Share on other sites
theedge Posted February 4, 2004 Share Posted February 4, 2004 Bit of a tough call.....I think it depends on how you feel about the person. Sounds like your split was somewhat recent and that could pose some problems. I guess I could ask these questions to get a feel for your situation......Are you still hooked on your ex? What is your interest level in current datee? Do you feel your ready for a possible new relationship? I would say if you are trying to take it slow with current datee, but interest, just give a small gesture that your interested. Possible if you don't aknowledge it they may assume your not intersted. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Marty_McFly Posted February 4, 2004 Author Share Posted February 4, 2004 Originally posted by Darkangelism Are you interested in her? Yeah, to the extent that I can be given that my split from a LTR was fairly recent. I'm not ready to be back into a "full relationship" but I do enjoy talking to her and getting to know her. She knows that I recently broke-up, and though we don't really talk about it much, some of the offhand things she's said make me pretty sure she recognizes that something like that is not easy and that I have lots of things going through my mind right now. I would like to go out with her that night, but I don't want to send the message that holiday implies to some women. I guess if I decide that I would rather go out with my friends, I also don't want to give the total opposite impression to her either. Hallmark, why did you have to invent this horrible holiday?! The newly broken up feel depressed, the single feel left out, and people in my situation just end up confused as to what they should do. Look at all the problems you've created! Link to post Share on other sites
CaterpillarGirl Posted February 4, 2004 Share Posted February 4, 2004 Just tell her that your single buddies need your support on Valentine's Day, and you promised them you'd be there, but that you'd like to take her out the next night, if she's free. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted February 4, 2004 Share Posted February 4, 2004 Perfect, Caterpillar! I would do anything to avoid eating out on Valentine's Day - the restaurants are so crowded and the pressure is just too high! I'd rather relax when I eat. Am I obligated to go out with her that day? No, of course not. It would be nice to let her know ASAP that you have other plans so she won't be left wondering, though. Taking someone out on Valentine's Day. or giving her any gift other than something really tiny - like a flower - seems to be making a huge deal of the relationship. It is too soon for that. Link to post Share on other sites
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