Mom of 3! Going Crazy

[k35]

Ok so I haven't been on this site for years. I just remembered it and thought that someone may have some ideas for me.

First of all I am a mother of 3 boys, 13,10,and 9. We recently moved to a house in the middle of nowhere and they are now on summer break. I have tryed to come up with things for the family to do. But i now realize that we all need a break from each other. My boys are fighting ALL THE TIME. Everything is a race. Who can eat dinner faster? who canget to the fridge faster? And whom ever doesn't win starts the fight push one out of the way the he pushes back and so on......... I am just going crazy over it.I am the only girl and I don't have any friends with more then one boy.

So my question is: is this normal? Is there anyway to stop it? What can I have them do on there own in one house to be away from each other?

 

The other thing that is really really bad is... My 13yr old likes a girl and she has started to call the house and if someone doesn't answer she calls right back. My son has told her not to do it yet, she still is. So my husband has started getting upset with my son, he has told the girl not to call anymore, which has my son mad at him and they are butting heads all day and night. Now my son can do nothing right, my husband is being really hard on my son and I have tryed to talk to them and I am wrong. Anyone have any ideas on anything I can do?

Thanks for reading!!

[Green]

Sounds like a tough situation. I really don't have any ideas for you. I agree that your husband is being pretty hard on your son with the girl situation.

 

My parents sent me and my siblings away to sleep away camp for the summer

[Corporate]

Now my son can do nothing right, my husband is being really hard on my son and I have tryed to talk to them and I am wrong. Anyone have any ideas on anything I can do?

Thanks for reading!!

 

Is your son your husband's biological child?

[Green]

Is your son your husband's biological child?

 

hmm good question

[stillafool]

Can't you send the boys outside to play? Can't they ride their bikes and entertain themselves outside for a while? I think it is good for children to learn to entertain themselves because this creates imagination. I can understand your being upset over the girl calling over and over and if I were you I would ask to speak with her mom. Maybe her mom doesn't know her daughter is stalking your son and will make her stop. These young girls have no upbringing to continue to call boys the way they do. My nephew of 14 has girls calling non stop. Why won't their mothers teach them to let the boys do the calling.

[k35]

Is your son your husband's biological child? Yes all 3 are.

 

 

 

 

Can't you send the boys outside to play? Can't they ride their bikes and entertain themselves outside for a while? I think it is good for children to learn to entertain themselves because this creates imagination. I can understand your being upset over the girl calling over and over and if I were you I would ask to speak with her mom. Maybe her mom doesn't know her daughter is stalking your son and will make her stop. These young girls have no upbringing to continue to call boys the way they do. My nephew of 14 has girls calling non stop. Why won't their mothers teach them to let the boys do the calling.

 

 

Unfortunatly we live off a major highway with speeds of 65mph but people do 90 so outside is limited to a very small area, and they get tired of it very fast maybe 5 mins.

 

Now days with all these kids having cell phone they can call with out their parents knowing. The thing with this girl is that her parent don't really care what she does. They are divorced and trying to make it up to her (buying her love).

 

They set up to see each other last weekend the father was picking my son up and takeing them to her mothers house. I was picking my son up a few hours later. Then I get a call asking if I could come get him that the family was going out for the day. I said sure and was on my way. When he starts to tell me what was going on he said "they desided they were going out and the didn't ask her how she felt." so I ask well was this planned and he said yes but no one told her.I explain that it works that way sometimes and that the mom was right if the family had plans that it wasn't fair to everyone else if she wasn't happy about it.

 

Then later that night her mother called to apoligize to my son because he didn't get to stay over there.( weird)

[Chocolat]

Ok so I haven't been on this site for years. I just remembered it and thought that someone may have some ideas for me.

First of all I am a mother of 3 boys, 13,10,and 9. We recently moved to a house in the middle of nowhere and they are now on summer break. I have tryed to come up with things for the family to do. But i now realize that we all need a break from each other. My boys are fighting ALL THE TIME. Everything is a race. Who can eat dinner faster? who canget to the fridge faster? And whom ever doesn't win starts the fight push one out of the way the he pushes back and so on......... I am just going crazy over it.I am the only girl and I don't have any friends with more then one boy.

So my question is: is this normal? Is there anyway to stop it? What can I have them do on there own in one house to be away from each other?

 

This seems fairly normal although certainly not desirable. There are a few things that can help:

 

1. Schedule time with each boy individually. This can be a couple of hours once a week, but it helps to give each child alone time with you (and/or with dad).

 

2. Set limits for behavior. Your boys are not toddlers; they can understand your rules and start living by them.

 

3. Help them to find activities. If playing on the street is not an option, what about in the back yard? What activities are available in or near your town -- public pool, game day at the library, science museum, etc.?

 

4. Sounds as though your boys have too much time on their hands. Set aside time each day for things such as chores (this will help you) and reading (or other quiet time alone).

 

The other thing that is really really bad is... My 13yr old likes a girl and she has started to call the house and if someone doesn't answer she calls right back. My son has told her not to do it yet, she still is. So my husband has started getting upset with my son, he has told the girl not to call anymore, which has my son mad at him and they are butting heads all day and night. Now my son can do nothing right, my husband is being really hard on my son and I have tryed to talk to them and I am wrong. Anyone have any ideas on anything I can do?

Thanks for reading!!

 

Next time the girl calls, pick up and tell her this yourself, nicely of course. Let her know that if no one answers, she should leave a message and your son will call back.

[Corporate]

They set up to see each other last weekend the father was picking my son up and takeing them to her mothers house. I was picking my son up a few hours later. Then I get a call asking if I could come get him that the family was going out for the day. I said sure and was on my way. When he starts to tell me what was going on he said "they desided they were going out and the didn't ask her how she felt." so I ask well was this planned and he said yes but no one told her.I explain that it works that way sometimes and that the mom was right if the family had plans that it wasn't fair to everyone else if she wasn't happy about it.

 

Then later that night her mother called to apoligize to my son because he didn't get to stay over there.( weird)

 

 

Why do people write confusing sentences. This makes me not want to read any further.

[candymoon]

This seems fairly normal although certainly not desirable. There are a few things that can help:

 

1. Schedule time with each boy individually. This can be a couple of hours once a week, but it helps to give each child alone time with you (and/or with dad).

 

2. Set limits for behavior. Your boys are not toddlers; they can understand your rules and start living by them.

 

3. Help them to find activities. If playing on the street is not an option, what about in the back yard? What activities are available in or near your town -- public pool, game day at the library, science museum, etc.?

 

4. Sounds as though your boys have too much time on their hands. Set aside time each day for things such as chores (this will help you) and reading (or other quiet time alone).

 

I agree with this this.

 

I have a friend with 3 sons about the same ages as yours and they rule the house. They destroy everything and practically each other by the end of the day. She has no control over them at all.

 

I think consequences for bad behavior consistently and everytime works best as well as making rewards for good behavior. However, with a group of boys, and if they were all involved, I'd start making those group consequences. One boy races the other, other get mad and pushes the one, i'd punish them both. Doesnt seem fair, but it is. Especially as we know siblings will push the other and manipulate just to watch the other get in trouble. Hell me and my sister are close in age and were pretty rough and tumble too and did this all the time.

 

So reward them all and punish them all as appropriate. Pretty soon they will see that their actions will affect everyone and the offenders will have to not only answer to you, but the other brothers being angry with them. I'm sure their behavior will change real quick.