Pissed off a girl who wanted more...Can I restore the friendship?

[Marty_McFly]

Almost 6 years ago, I met a girl who was completely awesome. I've never met a person in my life that I could talk to as well as her, and we used to have the most amazing conversations. She's literally the most intelligent person I've met, and she admired my own intelligence as well, and just always made me feel so "interesting."

 

Well, she definitely had more interest than just being friends, and I had interest as well, but I had also just started dating another girl as well. For several weeks, I spent time with both of them, but inevitably the time came where I had to choose because I couldn't hold both relationships at the current level. I ended up choosing the other girl, and we remained together all this time until a few months ago. I still think I made the right decision, but I still always had great memories of the other girl as well.

 

After letting this girl know that the relationship wasn't going to be able to be romantic, she was disappointed but we still hung out as friends every once in a while. However, I was an immature and really stupid guy, so what did I do? Started acting like a major jerk. Basically always still flirting with her, etc., knowing that I wouldn't actually do anything and knowing that she was still interested in more. Yes, start throwing the tomatoes. I know it was completely horrible and I'm really embarrassed now about the way I acted. I've never been able to forgive myself for being so stupid. She finally one day broke down and screamed at me to not talk to her anymore (good for her). I could tell she wasn't even interested in an apology or anything from me, so we haven't talked since, and that was probably 4 or 5 years ago.

 

Anyway, so now I want to make it right, and apologize to her for being such a jerk, and even try to restore the friendship that we had. I'll admit that I would maybe be interested in more as well, though that's probably too much to ask and I wouldn't be expecting it. Plus, she lives in a different city from me, and i don't even know if she's dating someone but I wouldn't be surprised. I got her email address through a mutual friend (though I can't gain insight on this from her because they are not really close enough that she would know anything about this). I just want to apologize, catch up on what we've been doing the last several years, and then maintain friendly contact.

 

Is this possible?

[doniker]

sure it's possible.

 

I doubt she is still pissed off after all this time.

 

What have you got to lose?

[SoleMate]

You flirt, she screams!!!??? WTF????

 

What kind of flirting are we talking here? Was this just a little "i'm a boy, your a girl, aint that sweet" kinda thing, or were you actively teasing her and leading her on and then snatching "it" away?

 

I can just imagine the phone call: "Hi, Gloria, I'm sorry I pussy-teased you for months back in 1998. Now, I'm alone and desperate, and I thought of...you. You can finally get a taste of what I was shaking in your face, after all this time, you lucky lady."

 

Don't hold the phone too close to your ear.

[doniker]

Originally posted by SoleMate

 

I can just imagine the phone call: "Hi, Gloria, I'm sorry I pussy-teased you for months back in 1998. Now, I'm alone and desperate, and I thought of...you. You can finally get a taste of what I was shaking in your face, after all this time, you lucky lady."

 

 

 

Come' on. they had a friendship at one time and 4 or 5 years have passed. Why even bring up the bad things that happened during the phone call?

 

Just call, say hello and talk.

[Marty_McFly]

Yes, SoleMate, that's exactly the response I would expect to get. Which is why I asked in the original post if it was even possible. I never really tried to make amends before because my girlfriend (now ex) was always kind of a "thorn" between us, and because I knew she was angry, and then we eventually moved off to different places.

 

Obviously, the conversation would not go word for word like that, but it is probably true that that's the way she would here it, nevertheless. I never really "led her on" but conversations when I would see her out would just be more flirtatious than they should have been since she had some feelings for me. I think it just built up over time, and it wasn't necessarily screaming, just some very terse, stern words that got the message across. Like I said before, I'm not making excuses for anything because I was totally wrong.

 

I guess I'm just trying to figure out if trying to make amends now would do any good. But I probably will wait awhile, at least 6 months maybe, if I do it at all, so that she doesn't take it the wrong way since my break-up is still fresh.