is there a hidden reason he is not getting divorced??

[floridagirl]

I have been dating "Ben" for over a year and a half now. When

 

we met he was married. We were in a situation away from our

 

families and had to work together everyday. We ended up

 

getting very close, first as friends, then as lovers. Ben confided

 

in me that he was not happy with his marriage, (this was

 

before anything romantic between us), and that he planned to

 

leave his wife when she finished school. After our friendship

 

turned into more I told him that I could not continue to see him

 

if he planned to stay with her another year. He revised his plan

 

and left her a week later. Soon after we moved into together.

 

We have a great relationship. We are like best friends, but

 

lately I feel like his intentions are different than mine. I want to

 

get married and have children. While he says that he does also,

 

his actions say something else. He left his wife over a year ago

 

and he has not gotten a divorce yet. There is no contact

 

between the two of them and we have the money to do this

 

now, but he keeps putting it off. I know he doesn't have feelings

 

for her and that he adores me. I just feel like him staying

 

married is a reason to not marry me, maybe because he feels

 

that getting married ruined his first relationship? Am I being silly

 

or do I have reason to believe that this will never go any

 

further than us living together? Please help.

[RobertoPNW]

Sounds to me like he needs an ultimatum.

[Skittles]

Hi floridagirl,

 

I don't want to sound like a buzz-killer but there is a chance that he might return to his wife. wut?

 

Yes, in alot of situations the mm/lover takes a holiday from his marriage by doing just what your guy is doing, leaving his marriage, then dragging his feet..then breaking a heart.

 

I am concerned that you gave him everything and asked for nothing. You want marriage, I don't blame you...But he needed to be divorced before you handed him the keys to the kingdom..No judgement here, let's review.

 

He is living with you now and still not divorced. Right now you must let him know what you expect from your relationship...If he doesn't divorce within a time limit...work out one together and stick to it, then it would be in your best interest to not live with him anymore...

 

This will be difficult but you gotta do it. His inertia is eating away at your self-esteem..plug the leak now.

 

 

 

Good luck with this