driedout Posted July 4, 2010 Share Posted July 4, 2010 What's the point anyways and why do many people get married? Doesn't anyone feels their true future was really meant not to ever get married at all and go single for many years? Link to post Share on other sites
zetkin Posted July 4, 2010 Share Posted July 4, 2010 Well, a lot of people of my age are already married and have kids but I still think that I am not old enough to talk about issues like marriage. I don't feel like getting married right now, and then I think what if I will never feel like it. Even though everything around me seems to throw it in my face "You are missing out, hurry up, kid" I still don't want a wedding. My ex-boyfriend (one of very few guys I ever cared for) is getting married soon. Things didn't work out between us because I was not ready to give up my life for him and to move with him to another country. We met about a week ago and he was so enthusiastic about all this and so excited. He showed me pictures of their engagement party, where the two of them so happy and smiling and holding hands, cutting their engagement cake and the ring on her finger shinning like REALLY bright. To tell you the truth it all seemed to me like he was trying to make me jealous, to tell me "look this could be you". And you know what - I didn't even care. My school friend had been happily married twice already, and I still don't want a wedding. Is there anything wrong with me? May be. But as I said earlier I am still very young, so I hope I will grow up and want a wedding:laugh: Maybe I just haven't met "the right guy" yet. By the way, I also am (and had always been) curious - why do people get married, why do they even bother? Hope to find an answer one day myself:) Link to post Share on other sites
Author driedout Posted July 4, 2010 Author Share Posted July 4, 2010 Maybe I just haven't met "the right guy" yet.It can be. In my case I really thought it was the right woman. I hardly ever make mistakes when choosing my friends or who I'm dating (I don't just choose anyone) but this time I failed. By the way, I also am (and had always been) curious - why do people get married, why do they even bother? Hope to find an answer one day myself:)I can give you an answer. I wanted to be with the woman I loved and start a family with her. I already had the ring but for some reason, there was a nervous tension within me. It's like an inner voice telling you are you are or is this really the person you want to be with. I found out who she really is, a selfish wench who only cared about herself. This whole relationship was nothing but a lie. Having being burned not so long ago don't think I'll ever propose. Link to post Share on other sites
tonnywillgram Posted July 17, 2010 Share Posted July 17, 2010 Yes you will find an answer to that when you get there. There must be a reason. If you are not ready to get married now then take your time, don't be pressured by everybody around you! http://www.positiveconflicts.org Link to post Share on other sites
aerogurl87 Posted July 18, 2010 Share Posted July 18, 2010 What's the point anyways and why do many people get married? Doesn't anyone feels their true future was really meant not to ever get married at all and go single for many years? I want to get married because I want to show to the world that I'm committed to one guy and in it for the long haul. Also to me getting married is ironclad proof someone wants to be with you for life. Anyone can spew a list of "I love you"s, but not every guy is gonna get married to every girl. I'll use the analogy of a business. Let's imagine your a business owner and your life is your business. You've worked hard to get to where you are and now you're thinking of a merger with another business. Now would you sign a business contract with them with a handshake nowadays? No, you'd get a signed contract. Why? Because people are shady and their yes doesn't always mean yes and their no, no. A contract doesn't mean they'll definitely stay true to their word, but it will make them think twice about doing something shady to cause harm to your business. A marriage works the same way. Doesn't mean the other person won't cheat or treat you like crap, but it will weed out alot of people who aren't that serious about a lifelong relationship. By the way a life of one night stands and f*ck buddies gets old after awhile. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted July 18, 2010 Share Posted July 18, 2010 Getting married for most man is like betting your entire life savings on the mega millions lottery. It is great if you win but chances are you won't and you will pay dearly for it. Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted July 18, 2010 Share Posted July 18, 2010 What's the point anyways and why do many people get married? People get married for different reasons. Sometimes for religious/cultural reasons enforced by members of their society. Sometimes people get married to create an advantage by combining resources or uniting powerful families. Many times people get married because they love each other and would like to spend their life with them. Doesn't anyone feels their true future was really meant not to ever get married at all and go single for many years? Who can predict when and if you will get married? Considering the divorce rate is 60%, people are getting married for the wrong reasons or under challenging circumstances. Sometimes its better to wait for the right person. Married couples say that you will know when you meet the right person. Link to post Share on other sites
sunshinegirl Posted July 18, 2010 Share Posted July 18, 2010 (edited) Married couples say that you will know when you meet the right person. Agree with this - both that I've heard it a lot from marrieds, and I "knew" early in my relationship with my fiance in that strange qualitative way that "they" talk about... even though I've wanted to marry past boyfriends! Something was just different this time - can't quite describe it. (I also didn't meet him til I was 35...so yeah, there's no telling about the timing of things. I would have guessed I would have been married by 30.) My desire for marriage is about building a life, home, and family in a public, committed way with someone I love. I also come from a family of still-together parents, grandparents, and extended family, so I don't have examples of other kinds of high-functioning families that might have drawn me toward other models of family life. Edited July 18, 2010 by sunshinegirl Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted July 18, 2010 Share Posted July 18, 2010 My desire for marriage is about building a life, home, and family in a public, committed way with someone I love. I also come from a family of still-together parents, grandparents, and extended family, so I don't have examples of other kinds of high-functioning families that might have drawn me toward other models of family life. This is beautiful. Link to post Share on other sites
Author driedout Posted July 20, 2010 Author Share Posted July 20, 2010 Getting married for most man is like betting your entire life savings on the mega millions lottery. It is great if you win but chances are you won't and you will pay dearly for it.I know right. I was almost going to marry a selfish, lying tramp. I had the ring with me but found out who she really is on time so it's like I can't trust any women at all, not even if she's from college. I might eventually recover from this or not. I'm still hurt about it. She ruined everything. Link to post Share on other sites
califnan Posted July 20, 2010 Share Posted July 20, 2010 I know right. I was almost going to marry a selfish, lying tramp. I had the ring with me but found out who she really is on time so it's like I can't trust any women at all, not even if she's from college. I might eventually recover from this or not. I'm still hurt about it. She ruined everything. ---------------------------- I think that these days, women can be selfish - opportunists ... And obviously you did catch yourself just in time.. Put that ring away .. and know that you really did save yourself a terrible fate, if she was the wrong woman.. They say the fun is in the quest.. Have fun, take your time.. It only takes one woman - the Right one.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author driedout Posted July 20, 2010 Author Share Posted July 20, 2010 ---------------------------- I think that these days, women can be selfish - opportunists ... And obviously you did catch yourself just in time.. Put that ring away .. and know that you really did save yourself a terrible fate, if she was the wrong woman.. They say the fun is in the quest.. Have fun, take your time.. It only takes one woman - the Right one..Yes you're right I just happened to bumped into the wrong one. I'm going to go single for a while. She ex just called me again from a restricted number asking for another chance. I quickly said no and hanged up. I can't believe she really thinks I'm that stupid to fool for crocodile tears. Link to post Share on other sites
ScaryFairy Posted July 31, 2010 Share Posted July 31, 2010 My boyfriend and I recently attended his friends wedding it was the first wedding we have both been to, our family and friends keep putting pressure on us to get married, but we both agreed that had we been in the couples shoes at this wedding we would have hated every minute we felt that they didn't really enjoy the wedding. My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years and we don't like the idea of the actual wedding day, we suggested that we would go abroad and just get married and then not tell anyone but our parents say that it would be selfish, i don't think either of us minds the idea of being married together we don't want to be with anyone else but hate the idea of the ceremony, and in order not to upset anyone or create family feuds the only solution appears to be to not ever get married, I'm not sure if this will create problems for us legally in the long run, has anyone else had this issue? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts