Interested in a Girl, but don't know how to proceed

[undergroundthry]

Hi there; new guy here... glad I found this site. Hopefully you can help me out

 

I have a situation:

 

There's this restaurant that offers $1 appetizers once every Thursday night and my guy friend's and I have been going to it weekly for the past month. This restaurant is extremely crowded with waits for a table ranging up to 2 hours, depending on the size of your party. I usually go with 1 or 2 of my friends and we usually wait for about an hour. Anyways, at this restaurant is this hostess (not waitress) that's caught my eye and I would like to make a move to get to know her better. Given that this restaurant is extremely busy, she's always on the move seating people, but every now and then she'll stand behind the counter to take names, call names, and relax.

 

So far I've only made small talk with her once, but that was a couple of weeks ago. I've recently started using my name (instead of having my friend's put their name down on the waitlist) in hopes of her remembering me. Every time I walk in, I greet her with a smile, give her my name, then walk outside (because it's very crowded inside with others waiting). Every 20 minutes or so, I'll walk inside to check on the wait... I'll hang around if we're close to being called otherwise I'll go back outside.

 

What would be the best way, given the situation, to ask her out/give me her name and number? Or should I give her my name and number? Initiating a conversation isn't hard for me, but directing the conversation to getting her name and number in this situation is something I'm not familiar with. I also don't want to come off as a stalker/creeper, but hopefully that doesn't come across as by the looks of it, we're about the same age. Please advice!

[Corporate]

First, do you get any vibe that she is slightly interested in you?

[undergroundthry]

Well every time I walk in, she smiles back at me, but that could just her being friendly? Obviously if she expresses interest, it'd be a lot easier for me, but how would I build up to it?

Edited July 4, 2010 by undergroundthry
Added details

[Corporate]

Well every time I walk in, she smiles back at me, but that could just her being friendly? Obviously if she expresses interest, it'd be a lot easier for me, but how would I build up to it?

 

 

That's her job.

[Green]

Just ask her out as you walk out the door. "Hey lets do something like get a drink some time... Here put your number in my phone and I'll txt you so you have mine... I'll give you a call tomorrow and we'll work something out"

[undergroundthry]

Corporate: Yeah, haha I know... I just like to think to myself she smiles for me:rolleyes:

 

Just ask her out as you walk out the door. "Hey lets do something like get a drink some time... Here put your number in my phone and I'll txt you so you have mine... I'll give you a call tomorrow and we'll work something out"

 

Would that work as I don't even have her name? I was thinking of starting some small talk, introducing myself somewhere in the conversation, and hopefully she would introduce herself too..?

[Corporate]

Corporate: Yeah, haha I know... I just like to think to myself she smiles for me:rolleyes:

 

Would that work as I don't even have her name? I was thinking of starting some small talk, introducing myself somewhere in the conversation, and hopefully she would introduce herself too..?

 

She is at work and you will put her in a awkward situation. Just saying. You need to keep that in mind and not be aggressive.

 

I think the better approach is to give her you number. Most people don't give their number to strangers while at work.

[undergroundthry]

She is at work and you will put her in a awkward situation. Just saying. You need to keep that in mind and not be aggressive.

 

I think the better approach is to give her you number. Most people don't give their number to strangers while at work.

 

I just realized I said I should introduce myself, but she already knows my name from putting down on the waiting list

 

Yeah I don't want to be aggressive and make her uncomfortable. Would I just slip her my name and number on a card and tell her to call me?

[Morals]

I just realized I said I should introduce myself, but she already knows my name from putting down on the waiting list

 

Yeah I don't want to be aggressive and make her uncomfortable. Would I just slip her my name and number on a card and tell her to call me?

 

Introducing yourself is different from giving your name to put on a list.

If you really want to make an impression, say "I come here all the time, and I don't think I've gotten your name. I'm <name here>."

 

It's that simple. This is the most obvious low key way to express interest without asking for a phone number, which if she's at work puts her on the spot.

 

If she's interested, she'll say her name and maybe something else. If she's not, she'll say "Oh great, my name's <her name>. Would you like a table for 2?" If she keeps it strictly business, she's not interested. If she starts asking questions that deviate a little from a normal interaction then you might have a chance.

 

The reason you *think* she knows your name is because you pay attention to her, to assume she does likewise would be naive. She gets tons of people at her restaurant every day, remember that. And remember, if she's as cute as you think she is, she probably gets hit on as well.

[Green]

Would that work as I don't even have her name? I was thinking of starting some small talk, introducing myself somewhere in the conversation, and hopefully she would introduce herself too..?

 

Small talk is good... JUST MAKE SURE YOU ASK HER OUT.

 

She is at work and you will put her in a awkward situation. Just saying. You need to keep that in mind and not be aggressive.

 

I think the better approach is to give her you number. Most people don't give their number to strangers while at work.

 

I've gone out on a date with a waitress in the past. I got her to go out with me by being assertive and asking her out WHILE she was actually serving me and a buddy of mine.

 

Leaving his number is better then nothing, but I think it seems unconfident... plus putting her on the spot works in his favor because it push's her toward saying yes or hurting some ones feelings.

 

If he just leaves a note with his number then it puts her in the position of having to go through all the work of calling... it also makes it very EASY for her to REJECT him if she is on the fence about it.

 

I just realized I said I should introduce myself, but she already knows my name from putting down on the waiting list

 

Yeah I don't want to be aggressive and make her uncomfortable. Would I just slip her my name and number on a card and tell her to call me?

 

I'm telling you that being Confident and ASKING her is the best way to go. Making a girl feel uncomfortable is fine, heck it even may help you get a yes. Even if she says no still try to get her number.

 

The slipping her your number thing is better then nothing but not by much.

 

Be confident and sure chat her up... but the ASK HER OUT.

[undergroundthry]

Green, Morals, and Corporate,

 

Thanks for the feedback and suggestions.

 

Green: I feel a waitress is different from a hostess as a waitress interacts with you more, whereas a hostess just takes your name and puts it on a list. I'm thinking of using Morals' line to learn her name and then I'm not sure, provided she welcomes my advances, should I ask for her number or get that the next time I see her, sort of like making subtle advances?

[Corporate]

Green, Morals, and Corporate,

 

Thanks for the feedback and suggestions.

 

Green: I feel a waitress is different from a hostess as a waitress interacts with you more, whereas a hostess just takes your name and puts it on a list. I'm thinking of using Morals' line to learn her name and then I'm not sure, provided she welcomes my advances, should I ask for her number or get that the next time I see her, sort of like making subtle advances?

 

Try one of the following:

 

 

1) What kind of restaurant is this? Assume it's Italian. You tell her that you really like Italian food AND Mexican food and ask her if she knows any good Mexican food in the area. If she says Chico Mexican Restaurant is good. Then, ask her if she would like her to join you sometime. OR

 

2) Ask her other than Italian food (assume that's the restaurant she works at), what other food does she like. If she says Chinese. You tell her there is this really nice Chinese restaurant with very good food and invite her to join you sometime.

[undergroundthry]

Try one of the following:

 

 

1) What kind of restaurant is this? Assume it's Italian. You tell her that you really like Italian food AND Mexican food and ask her if she knows any good Mexican food in the area. If she says Chico Mexican Restaurant is good. Then, ask her if she would like her to join you sometime. OR

 

2) Ask her other than Italian food (assume that's the restaurant she works at), what other food does she like. If she says Chinese. You tell her there is this really nice Chinese restaurant with very good food and invite her to join you sometime.

 

It's a Mexican restaurant. Are you suggesting I ask her out to dinner at work or asking her out to dinner after (hopefully) getting her number?

[Green]

I think a hostess would probably be easier to ask out then a waitress because its awkward asking a girl out infront of the people at your table... but then again you could convieniently tell them to wait in the car while you take care of the bill LOL.

 

I say you just ask her out and stop worying about making it perfect. Just walk up to her and say what ever comes to mind. Say "I'm taking you to chucky cheese tommorow now here put your number in my phone and we'll set it up"

 

Just give it a try any try. Asking her out will make you seem more confident and up your chances of her says YES.

 

Leaving your contact info with her is better then NOTHING but I think asking her out in person is the way to go.

[Corporate]

It's a Mexican restaurant. Are you suggesting I ask her out to dinner at work or asking her out to dinner after (hopefully) getting her number?

 

No, not at work. Those are suggestions/means/reasons to get her number and ask her out AFTER work.

 

Is she Hispanic? What are you?

[undergroundthry]

No, not at work. Those are suggestions/means/reasons to get her number and ask her out AFTER work.

 

Is she Hispanic? What are you?

 

Yes. I'm White/Asian.

 

Green: Thanks for the advice. I'll give it a shot and report back.

[undergroundthry]

Didn't really have the time to talk to her like I wanted, but did make small talk so she starts to recognize and know me. She was wearing a Spain jersey and made a remark about the World Cup. I guess I'll have to ask her next week and use that line to get her name. Is it wrong to slowly build up to her or should I just straight up ask her for name, number, and if she's free?

[Green]

Building up slow is a bad idea in my opinion. She could get a bf in that time or move, or just get bored of you.

 

You should have just asked her out. Stop waiting for that perfect moment.

[angielove]

I think you should keep going to the restaurant and start making conversation with her every time you go in (when she isn't busy!!!). Start with simple trivial stuff like the weather, current affairs etc so you can get a feel of what she's interested in. Step it up to questions related to her work, like "so do you work here full-time/what else do you do?", "how long have you been working here?" "do you like working here?" etc. Then step it up to questions about her, like "what do you do for fun?" etc. If you gage that she is interested after these conversations, then I think you should ask for her number.

 

I work in a bar and have about five customers ask for my number each week. I rarely give it out because to me they feel like complete strangers and I would not be comfortable doing so. BUT if I got to know a regular customer through friendly conversations each time I saw him, I would be much much much more likely to hand over my number

[undergroundthry]

I think you should keep going to the restaurant and start making conversation with her every time you go in (when she isn't busy!!!). Start with simple trivial stuff like the weather, current affairs etc so you can get a feel of what she's interested in. Step it up to questions related to her work, like "so do you work here full-time/what else do you do?", "how long have you been working here?" "do you like working here?" etc. Then step it up to questions about her, like "what do you do for fun?" etc. If you gage that she is interested after these conversations, then I think you should ask for her number.

 

I work in a bar and have about five customers ask for my number each week. I rarely give it out because to me they feel like complete strangers and I would not be comfortable doing so. BUT if I got to know a regular customer through friendly conversations each time I saw him, I would be much much much more likely to hand over my number

 

Thanks for the response angielove! I'll give it a shot.