Why can't my sil understand my kids are no longer interested

[mopar crazy]

Yep, candy they are! LOL! I can't speak about every teenager but all of my friends that do have teenagers say they are worse than the terrible two's, or should I say three b/c that is when I find children push their limits more than a 2 yo. Been doing Early Childhood for 15 years so I've seen it first hand.

 

My children were pretty well behaved until they hit their teens. Not many problems at all. Pretty great kids but did do things they shouldn't have but that comes from making mistakes and learning from them.

 

Anyhow, my ds doesn't like my nephew b/c of all the crap he has pulled over the years with him. My son gets into trouble but my nephew doesn't. I enjoy having them over but it never seems to fail that someone ends up fighting and my nephew is always involved in it or starting it.

 

H doesn't help by telling my brothe and sil every time our son gets grounded and why. B/c of this they say things like I mentioned above. ASking my why I didn't ground him for something. My son is very social, outgoing, very funny (have had several friends parents tell me this) and plays in a rock band. A totally different child than their son. Are they stereo typing my child b/c he should be like their son and his friends? My nephews friends are all in band and are quiet kids. Not bad kids at all. Just not as out there as my son is.

[vestigalvirgin]

It's tough to run a teenage son when the father is not in the picture.

 

Good luck with that.

[mopar crazy]

It's tough to run a teenage son when the father is not in the picture.

 

Good luck with that.

 

What? Their dad is in the picture. We are married.

[vestigalvirgin]

What? Their dad is in the picture. We are married.

 

 

Oh. Sorry. I didn't get a sense that your h was very involved with imposing the discipline in this particular scenario.

[mopar crazy]

Oh. Sorry. I didn't get a sense that your h was very involved with imposing the discipline in this particular scenario.

 

True, he wasn't. B/c I took care of it myself. I didn't even give H a chance. Not that I didn't want him to, but I took care of the situation. As soon as my nephew came crying and said my son's name I got up, made sure nephew was ok, went outside and told my son to get in the car, we were leaving b/c of what happened. My son went to my car and I went to go get his pop out of the fridge. This all happened in about 5 minutes. Maybe my H thought I was doing the right thing by taking him home so he didn't get involved. I don't know.

[candymoon]

True, he wasn't. B/c I took care of it myself. I didn't even give H a chance. Not that I didn't want him to, but I took care of the situation. As soon as my nephew came crying and said my son's name I got up, made sure nephew was ok, went outside and told my son to get in the car, we were leaving b/c of what happened. My son went to my car and I went to go get his pop out of the fridge. This all happened in about 5 minutes. Maybe my H thought I was doing the right thing by taking him home so he didn't get involved. I don't know.

 

Has your H generally been invoved in the discipline? Sounds like it's mostly you who are judged on it by the ILs, which leads one to think that your H has left it up to you to be disciplinarian. Of course, I could be misreading and it's hard to tell from these small situations described here.

[mopar crazy]

Has your H generally been invoved in the discipline? Sounds like it's mostly you who are judged on it by the ILs, which leads one to think that your H has left it up to you to be disciplinarian. Of course, I could be misreading and it's hard to tell from these small situations described here.

 

Yes, my H is involved in the discipline. We talk about what we think should be done. He is a little more strict with his discipline than I am though.

[Corporate]

Yes, my H is involved in the discipline. We talk about what we think should be done. He is a little more strict with his discipline than I am though.

 

He needs to be more strict about marriage boundaries, such as which lines not to cross, including getting into another woman's pants.

[mopar crazy]

He needs to be more strict about marriage boundaries, such as which lines not to cross, including getting into another woman's pants.

 

Corporate, I have asked you nicely not to bring that part up in this thread. The A was 7 years ago. A lot of posters here on LS have helped me w/ that situation. I have moved past that crisis in the my life. I forgave my H, however I will never forget it. If you really feel you need to know what happened go back through my threads from 2005. I didn't find LS until then. The A was in 2003. My username at the time was stillhurtin

Edited July 11, 2010 by mopar crazy

[bentnotbroken]

Mopar, I had the same issue with the grandmothers in our lives. They had to understand that the children still love them, but part of growing up means they develope new relationships. It is hard when they are expected to met the expectations of extended family. I do insist they see the grandparents at least 4 times a year, usually holidays, but the grandparents have grown to understand they are young adults. Mopar, I think you will work everything out....as usual.

[Chinook]

Mopar no offence, but it seems to me that your son... got exactly what he wanted. He was removed from a situation which he didn't want to be in. Yes, what he did was stupid... but look at it from his point of view, the younger kid was whining and he was growing tired of it. He warned the younger kid, who was then being a pain... so he aimed a popper towards him. He knew full well that the younger kid would go crying and whining to his Mom and he already knew, because you had forewarned him, of what the likely consequences are of that action. You took him home, away from the whiney kid. Sounds like he off-set in his head, the lecture he'd get from you, against the discomfort of whiney kid. Have to say kudos to your guy for his opportunism at the time.