dissonant feelings...

[Cpunch75]

So i've had this FWB thing for a while with this girl, and we've been getting comfortable with each other lately, but recently i've been noticing that she is getting more and more depressed everytime i see her, and also her attitude towards me is short of appreciative and respectful as I show her. She doesnt want to sleep together "for now" because she is having so many issues with "me myself and I" which is telling me that she needs alone time to figure herself out. I even asked what is wrong with her and she doesn't even know how to describe it. I asked such questions like, are you gay? are you depressed etc...and she won't describe what is going on in her head at all...

she is the type to hold it all in, and refuses to see a therapist about her issues. I stopped questioning her because I didn't want to overstep the boundaries and make her upset.

 

 

I know FWB is an iffy thing, but I have developed light feelings for her, not strong but light and have told her that I have feelings for her. She said she was flattered and that right now she doesnt know how she feels about anything anymore, she's emotionally comatose, and it hurts to see someone in this amount of pain, other words she's got many major issues to deal with.

what does a guy like me do? who cares a lot for this girl even though im not her bf but wouldn't mind having a relationship with her. she says that the only thing I can do is be there for her, but how? and what exactly does that mean....since the only way i can be there for her is to talk to her and identify

with her problems, but she won't identify her problems in the first place!?

 

 

 

argh!

[Errol]

Being there for her means that you don't give any input, but let her know that if she needs to talk, you will listen.

 

That is hard to do when you care about someone and want to help them feel better - but a good friend can work at it. I understand how the FWB thing is supposed to work - but I just don't understand how it ever can.