Broken up 2 months ago, out of nowhere she calls

[zoro]

After 1 year and 8 months, my ex out of nowhere just stopped calling me ( that was her way of breakin up...yes, I know it was very "chicken "S" of her) She Said she needed space.

 

At the time, I begged and pleaded with her, why? Somedays she'd agree to see me and talk and then she would flake at the last minute or not even show up . Finally I gave up after several attempts to get back with her

 

Been broken up 2 months and still it hurts like hell. Last time I spoke was about a month ago out of nowhere she all of a sudden calls me after a month of no contact. She says she just wanted to know how I'm doing and how's everything, because I don't call. I told her I gave up calling cause she stood me up every time. ( She apoligized for it but that was it) So I was like "I'm fine" ( when I really wanted to say " I miss you come bacK")!!

She mentioned how she's going out a lot with her friends dancing ect. That was pretty much it.

 

After the phone call the I would of thought I would of been happy because I was in her thoughts for a moment ago but when I hunged up the phone I shocked and depressed.

Is there a reason for the call or should I not read so much into it?

[trulyme]

I personally think that they would not even pick up the phone and make the call if you meant nothing to them. Whether she wanted to see how you were doing, what you were doing or how you would respond to her; she wanted to see something.

 

What I try to do is put myself in her shoes. Everyone tells YOU no contact. Well what are her friends telling her? Probably the same thing. With that being said, I think it is very hard just to pick the phone up and call. If everyone on this sight was telling you, don't call her (do the no contact) and you will move on or she will eventually call you. If you got that advice from us, it would be very hard for you to pick that phone up and call your ex.

 

I am going through the same thing obviously, and I keep telling myself to not look to deep into it........but as we all know, we would love for it to be them opening the door for us.

 

My advice: Take it for face value. If she wants to talk to you again, she will. If you want to talk to her.......wait a little bit and drop her a line.

 

Truly

[dkoala]

Zoro -- I know *exactly* what you're going through. Last year, my ex of 4 yrs and I broke up because she needed space. After a month of no communication, she called me out of the blue to just to see how I was doing. I was ecstatic that she called, and I was dying to get back together with her. I was ready to believe that she wanted the same thing. Well, I thought a lot about the call, and asked her about it later. The call was nothing more than just a conversation between old friends.

 

She probably misses talking to you. You were together for quite some time, and you probably still mean something to her. She's possibly just as curious as you about what you're doing and how you've been. I agree with trulyme -- take it at face value and wait for her call.

 

Honestly though, she broke up with you by ignoring you? That's just wrong, and you shouldn't put up with someone that did that to you. I know you're still hurting and want her back, but that's just how I see it from the outside.

 

Good Luck!

[lost_in_chgo]

breaking up by ignoring is the preferred method of the insecure.

[UCFKevin]

Pretty much. That's how it went down for me and my ex. Didn't hear from her for two weeks. Pretty cowardly.

 

Are they sparing OUR feelings or theirs? Both? I dunno. I just don't get it.

 

Personally, I would not look too deep into this phone call at all. Pretty rotten that she actually called. I'm sure you were just starting to move on, now you'll have to start from square one again just because you heard from her. Maybe she likes that she has this power, who knows. People can be pretty f'ed up sometimes.

[matrixgenius]

She called because she needs to confirm to herself that she really isnt such a bad person. The selfishness continues.

Since you are still alive and doing "fine", then what she did to you was acceptable.

In reality if you would have said "I am still incredibly upset by what you did" or at the end of the conversation you said " hey maybe we could see each other sometime soon" I am sure she would have said " I dont think thats a good idea" or "I'm sorry I called, I thought you would be over me by now".

Its all about her, her, and her.

When someone loves you for you, then and only then will you feel better.

You should have thanked her for twisting the knife even more.

[abc]

Why didn't you ask her what she REALLY wanted when she called you?

 

If you want her back, try calling her back and asking her this question.

 

We don't always give the HONEST reason why we do or don't do something. There is sometimes a REAL reason that we don't reveal without some probing.

 

Be gentle ... it may be hard for her to admit the REAL reason.

[Pretteangel]

I think if you still love her and want her back you act on it. CALL HER! Ask what you want to ask and do not hold back.

 

You will get your your questions answered one way or another trust me.

 

I feel it is a mistake to call any ex to get her back because it is self torture and will only hurt you more. An ex is an ex for a reason! Someone who truly loves you is not an ex!

 

You know, when someone really loves you, and they want you in their live, you are with them and you are not on some board online feeling hurt wanting to know what to do and what something means............look at the ACTIONS!

 

Never believe in words so much, actions do speak louder .

 

Good Luck!