Did i look bad to my coworker now? crushing on him

[rose45]

Well i have been at this company for a few years..i always thought this one guy was good looking and had a good personality as well

 

I have been kind of down lately at work, not looking good more than usual..different problems going on..he actually approached me casually last week and asked are u ok? and i said yea and he was like are you sure, you promise? and i didn't really say anything to that..he then approached me later and like sat on the opposite end of me and said i am more quiet than usual and he knows something is wrong and he offered to take me out for a drink to talk..and i said maybe..and he said he would ask again before leaving..it turns out a coworkers offered him baseball tickets though which of course he should go to and he did..no hard feelings there since i didn't even completely agree anyway.

 

We went out the other night with coworkers..for some reason i had it in my head where i wanted to get to be alone with him..i think some part of me always had a little crush on him but most times at work i know that i look bad b/c i don't spend alot of time getting ready in the morning.

 

For some reason I did have it in my head that i wanted to kiss him tonight and spend time with him...i really didn't think it would happen though or if he was even attracted to me...towards the end of the evening he approached me and said something and then said do i want to do a shot and i said sure..so we wind up at the bar by ourselves..it looked like most of the coworkers left..it seems like he was attracted to me..he placed his hand on my back once, leaned in closer when i couldnt hear what he was saying where he was pretty close to my mouth..We did wind up leaving together and went to his place.

 

When we left i didn't think it was going to happen but he got a cab and opened the door for me and we both got in and headed to his place. I just felt with him i guess..we did wind up making out at his place..the kisses seemed more sensual and soft..but before anything happened we were laying down together and he said my name and like what am i doing here in a casual/nice way..and i said do you want me to go and he said no if i didn't want you here i wouldn't have invited you. And i said i just wanted to spend time with you. I don't know who kissed who first but i really enjoyed it..I also was not very drunk or anything..i might have been buzzed but i drank a few glasses of water as well so i think i was more relaxed etc. but i wasn't helpless and don't think he did anything wrong really.

 

Things got somewhat physical but nothing where i need to have a test done or anything..my clothes stayed on;his didn't for the most part.. i remained strong with my will power not to sleep with him even though i wanted to.

I feel like i was too emotional though and maybe that took a lot of points away from me?....maybe i should have had more fun with the situation and joked more...i felt like i blew it with me saying i just wanted to spend time with u, when we kissed i put my emotions in it..i touched his face while we kissed, kissed his neck. Is that too much or just a kissing style?....

 

When we were laying on the bed and i sat up to look at him he was being ..he kept playing with my hair and pushing it out of my face and tucked it behind my ear..he did say that he was concerned about me the past few days and i said well ur the only one..noone else notices and he said maybe they aren't looking...i also said to him well i guess you are attracted to me. I also moined that tiny slightly bit like that feels good when we kissed..he joked later saying good for me with my willpower lol..i was also pretty guarded not letting him do certain things like take my top off etc..and was nervous as well i guess which he pointed out but not in a mean way. He just said you are nervous

 

We spoke about how the next day was going to be and he said it is going to be weird and he almost feels bad but he gets the sense i wanted to come here tonight too and it wasn't just him and i agreed..and he said but i will come in, in the morning and say what i always say to you and you will say the same. When laying down he did kiss my forehead once, he did tell me i am very pretty.

 

I think i hinted at wanting to hang out again or talk etc but i don't think he was completely open like ok here is my number lets hang out again soon which kind of disappointed me. I did ask if he had wanted to sleep with me tonight and he said he would have done whatever i wanted to do. He said it wasn't like a master plan to get me here though and wanted me to know that. He did try to push things along when we were making out but not in this aggressive type way. I told him i did want to sleep with him as well.

 

The next day we came in like normal..he said the things he usually said to me..later on he asked if we were cool and i said yea..when i left i said goodnight to him and the person he shares the room with but as walking by we locked eyes for that second. I wish it was more than a one time thing because i feel like this is actually something i need and want for the time being and i like him a little regardless of where it went.

 

Was i too emotional with the things i said and did?? i kind of wish i can hang out with him again but it doesn't look like that is going to happen.

Now i think i have a bigger crush on him and keep thinking about kissing him again..that night would have been perfect for us to exchange numbers but it didn't happen and i guess this was just a one time thing.

 

I hope i am not seen as a pathetic/needy/psycho or something. I don't remember everything said word for word but from what i wrote--do i look like a pathetic loser or something?

 

Today he was in his neighbors office which is by my desk and he said my name and i said hey..today was rather busy so that was basically it til the end of the day when i said goodbye like normal..

[looktothelight]

Hi, new here. This is my first post on the site ever!

I read the whole story, and things seem fine to me. It seems the ball is in your court. I think you should kick it up a notch at work- muster up all confidence you have, banish all weirdness, and talk to him more. Start with the usual things but be enthusiastic and smile alot. Have as good a conversation as you can at work. It's important to not fall in a routine. At this point it seems, to me, after all this sudden intensity, that you have to stand out to him and make him want to pursue you. If the work relationship returns to have it was or even better, it'd be good to arrange a date by phone.

I think the situation sounds good though- he sounds like a caring guy as you described the sleep over.

 

Let us know!

 

Btw, I am making my first thread right now. I'm afraid it's one the happiest thread in the world though.

[rose45]

its hard to talk to him more..he shares an office with someone and i was never the type to just walk in like some of the other girls to talk about anything and everything for a few minutes..and now it will look odd if i do..i would usually speak to them if they are passing by or picking something up from the printer

 

wouldn't the ball be more in his court? he must know i am attracted to him and probably like him with the fact i didn't want to sleep with him and have it be this fling or something for a night..

 

maybe being too "innocent" and "good" is a turn off

 

i actually was avoiding walking by his office today and took the longer way around..i was also wearing a shorter skirt( which i should have changed out of in the morning) than usual and didn't want to look like i was trying too hard..at the end of the day i walked by his office..two higher up people were talking to him casually..i looked at him and smiled a little but like i was in a rush and he said goodnight and said my name..

[looktothelight]

I've wondered the same thing. What's the world coming to?! I've always been taught that men are intrigued by innocence, and respect a lady with morals. Guess things have changed since those days, huh?

 

Well, I guess you could also look at it in the way that, if you're in his mind, he'll make an effort to approach you.

I think you should take the approach that fits your comfort level and personality best.

[rose45]

bump......

[nekoyo]

Hi, I'm also fairly new here, so.. hi (I hope this is still relevant)

 

Hmm, this sounds to me like you're totally crushing and he is probably not so sure about the whole thing. I dunno how things are between you and him by now, but maybe you should email, or simply ask him out... be relaxed about it. Try and not think about how much you want him, and simply enjoy the moment! Don't worry so much!! If he really likes you, there's no need. Innocent is turning him off? Well, I think you should not change who you are or feel miserable just because he might not be the right guy. If you can talk to him about random stuff, hang out without feeling awkward all the time, good. Otherwise, this may just be heading towards a short-lived affair - and although it's hard, it might be good to think about what would come of it eventually. You could feel even worse at your workplace later...

 

In the end, be confident, you seem like a nice person, I know so, so well what you mean, I always overthink things... relax! Don't rush into anything just out of desparation.