LoveTruthChaos Posted July 7, 2010 Share Posted July 7, 2010 Hi all, So, I've been talking to a friend of mine on MSN for a while now, maybe 2 months. We don't talk all the time, but about 3 times a week, and for about 4 hours at a time. He always initiates conversation. We've been friends for 5 years, but not very very close. We chat every so often, and we have a couple of mutual friends. Anyway.... We flirt. A LOT. Well, I think it's more than that. We call it our 'naughty chat' time. We think each other is sexy (and he is - OH lordy yes LOL). He tells me, play by play, what he wants to do to me in bed, that he wants me to come over, tells me when he cums over chat, etc. Now, from the signals he's giving me, he wants sex, and sex only. I wasn't born yesterday, I get it. I told him straight up - I'm not that kind of a girl. I don't have sex outside of a relationship. He knows this, and won't let up on the naughty chat. NOR DO I WANT HIM TO. I keep it up, just as hard as he does (all puns intended). But....is this healthy? To have a naughty chat with a friend that I have made clear won't go anywhere? He doesn't seem to mind, since I lay down the conditions so early, and frequently, and he keeps going. In a way, I know it's all a bit of fun, and I enjoy it. It actually makes me forget about my ex, and is putting me in a permanent good frame of mind. But is it wrong? Am I just being a detrimental tease? He tells me he doesn't mind.... Any thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
Enchanted Girl Posted July 7, 2010 Share Posted July 7, 2010 I don't think what you are doing is wrong or anything. You're having fun, but . . . . I've noticed that a lot of men are under the false impression that women like to say "no" when they really mean "yes." And if he someday gets frustrated with you because you don't want to have sex with him for real, I wouldn't be surprised. He might think you are saying "no" because you want him to chase you or something. But there's no guarantee of that. Some people just like to have naughty chats online and that's enough for them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveTruthChaos Posted July 7, 2010 Author Share Posted July 7, 2010 (edited) Well, see this is where it gets a tad confusing. I don't have feelings for him, and yet, I DO want him very much... Dammit! I will make sure I remain a woman who is true to her word! I've never wanted someone without feelings involved before. I feel like I'd be more comfortable with him than I was with my ex (and I gave my virginity to him). But I will not change my morals for him. I will never tell him that I want him. Eep. I guess I should start self-pleasuring before chatting with him, so as not to get so horny that I want him. These damn chemicals, I swear. Thanks tho - it is fun Edited July 7, 2010 by LoveTruthChaos Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted July 7, 2010 Share Posted July 7, 2010 If you're both single and willing, there's absolutely nothing wrong/unhealthy with some steamy sex chat He doesn't seem to mind, since I lay down the conditions so early, and frequently, and he keeps going. Do you mean that you are STILL telling him not to, but then you're getting into it, anyway? To me, that would be the only "wrong" thing: if you want it and enjoy it, why not just own it and be true it? Why play silly "don't start...don't stop" games with yourself and with him? It dismays me when people do this kind of thing but, as a woman, it hurts worse when it's women doing it. Embrace your 'steamy sex chat goddess', most definitely, but "No" has got to mean "NO", IMO. Every single time. Right now you've messaged that your "no" actually means "yes" -- how's he going to know when you REALLY mean "no"? For example, if you two are in-person and alone? I would suggest to say to him, "yes for sex chat but no for physical sex", and then just leave at that...and enjoy Link to post Share on other sites
WTRanger Posted July 7, 2010 Share Posted July 7, 2010 Am I just being a detrimental tease? He tells me he doesn't mind.... Any thoughts? He says he doesn't mind because he's expecting this to lead to more physical contact down the road. If you don't let that happen, then yes, you are a cock tease. Use a vibrator instead, it doesn't have needs, wants or feelings nor does it get jealous. What you are doing with these mixed up signals could be very dangerous to you. As others have pointed out, when does your No really mean NO? What if the two of you are alone and he's expecting far much more and won't let up thinking that you are still playing some stupid game? What if he shows up one night after a hot session in chat? I really don't see why the two of you just don't bang each other. Get it over with and see if there is any emotional connection or if it was just purely physical. I really like the "morals" yet having sex chat. That's like saying I'm a drunk but not an alcoholic. Link to post Share on other sites
lso802 Posted July 7, 2010 Share Posted July 7, 2010 If he says he doesn't mind, then those are his words. You already told him what's up. So it's his choice continuing your chats as well. Don't worry about it. Enjoy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveTruthChaos Posted July 8, 2010 Author Share Posted July 8, 2010 I really like the "morals" yet having sex chat. That's like saying I'm a drunk but not an alcoholic. I LOVE this haha...I guess I'm not as innocent as I like to make out I am I've said a clear no to physical contact. Sex chat I have never said no to. It's just too much fun! And yes, we are having a lot of fun. Thanks everyone for the insight Link to post Share on other sites
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