mysteriousanon Posted February 5, 2004 Share Posted February 5, 2004 I have been passed over for promotion several times at a job where I'm rediculously underpaid (8 per hour), where my Bachelor's degree (in political science) isn't being put to use. It's a start up company which I've been with since they opened I'm one of their best workers. The boss is fairly young and flirts with the pretty girls. He used to try to talk with me, but I'm shy and kept my distance because I was attracted to him and he's married and I avoid married men like the plague. Can someone help me guess if I'm being passed over because: 1) they don't think I'll stay in the long run? 2) I don't interact with the boss enough? 3) I don't flirt witht the boss? 4) After not being promoted the first time, I lost my motivation and started doing things like calling to cancel my self scheduled work days on the same day? The latest promotion is a humilation because it's a 16 year old girl who was hardly at work (considering she had to attend high school). Thanks for your feedback in advance. Recently, I called to cancel work, it was the owner whom I loathe, and instead of being my usual polite self, I said my name and "I can't come in today", without explanation or apology. He sounded amused and said said he'd put me make note of it for the record, and I said ok and quickly hung up. Link to post Share on other sites
Errol Posted February 5, 2004 Share Posted February 5, 2004 The only way you are going to know their reasons why (if they are honest with you) is to ask them. But calling in with no explanation is probably a factor. Also losing your motivation probably shows in your overall attitude. If you are not enthusiastic about your job and demonstrate that you want to move up they will see that and will look for someone who exhibits the desire to do more and move up. How much do you really want to grow with this company? Is this a stepping-stone for you? Can you find a way to accept and work pleasantly with the people (owner) that you do not like? If you stay there a long time and do move up you will most likely have more interaction with him and you have to be able to get along and respect his position even if you don't like him, and you will have to earn his respect as well. Link to post Share on other sites
mysteriousanon Posted February 5, 2004 Share Posted February 5, 2004 I never called in without an explanation before. This is the first, so that cannot be a factor. And they'd promoted someone over me before, when I was in t he top three if not the top producer (we do surveys), with good attendance, etc. That was five months ago. I have a degree, and no I hadn't planned on sticking around but neither did the people the owner approached for promotion. In fact, they are no longer with the company. I wonder what happened to this one woman who flirted so much with the owner, it seemed like they were having an affair to me and to my coworkers. She seemed to disappear soon after her promotion. A coworker also notices something between the owner and the newly promoted 16 year old. Link to post Share on other sites
cdn Posted February 5, 2004 Share Posted February 5, 2004 It sounds like you are trying to convince yourself that you were passed over because you won't flirt with the boss and/or that those being promoted are selected because they are carrying on with the boss. While no one here has the ability to confirm or deny this for you, I think you should first examine your own actions and qualifications carefully and thoroughly before concluding that the problem lies outside you. Being a top producer does not necessarily qualify you to be a supervisor or manager. Different skills are involved. Further, it is vital in any job that you be able to interact with all those around you, including the boss, something you mention you have had a hard time doing. FInally, when you write that: After not being promoted the first time, I lost my motivation and started doing things like calling to cancel my self scheduled work days on the same day? I would imagine that this loss of motivation is noticeable to others and could play a large part in your continuing to be passed over. Can you not look for work elsewhere? Possibly in a position that will put your bachelor's degree to work? Link to post Share on other sites
midori Posted February 5, 2004 Share Posted February 5, 2004 I think errol & cdn raise good points. I'd also point out that it sounds like your bachelor's degree is not something that is required for the job (since it's a job that some high school students have held), yet you have repeatedly emphasized that you have this degree. Is it possible that you've inadvertently conveyed the attitude that you think you are over-qualified for the job, that it's actually beneath you? That won't win you many points, in the eyes of your peers or your superiors. I agree with the suggestion that you have a frank conversation with your boss. Link to post Share on other sites
mysteriousanon Posted February 5, 2004 Share Posted February 5, 2004 "While no one here has the ability to confirm or deny this for you" Yes, that's right. And I don't think people's own instincts should automatically be ruled out. "I think you should first examine your own actions and qualifications carefully and thoroughly before concluding that the problem lies outside you." I have already. I know my lack of interaction is a factor. Can you not look for work elsewhere? Possibly in a position that will put your bachelor's degree to work? I am, and I will. "Is it possible that you've inadvertently conveyed the attitude that you think you are over-qualified for the job, that it's actually beneath you?" I never mention my degree unless asked, and the director's wife (the bosses are the owner, the director, 2nd in command and the director's wife) with whom I used to sit next to and chat with asked me about myself and I'm afraid I revealed too much about myself (career aspirations, etc.) so I stopped chatting with her as much, and this may have seemed unfriendly. Link to post Share on other sites
mysteriousanon Posted February 5, 2004 Share Posted February 5, 2004 Thanks for t he feedback. Link to post Share on other sites
mysteriousanon Posted February 5, 2004 Share Posted February 5, 2004 "It sounds like you are trying to convince yourself that you were passed over because you won't flirt with the boss and/or that those being promoted are selected because they are carrying on with the boss." If I am trying to convince of this, would I be the only one with the opinion. Why would there be be other workers who think there's something going on between the owner the women he promotes? That was a rhetorical question, by the way. Thank you everyone for your feedback. Link to post Share on other sites
cdn Posted February 5, 2004 Share Posted February 5, 2004 Yes, that's right. And I don't think people's own instincts should automatically be ruled out. No, of course not. But the title of your post said you wanted feedback on why you've been passed over for promotion. And you went on to present 4 different possibilities why you've not been promoted (only one of which touched on flirting with your boss). Now you seem to be angry that people have responded to what you posted, focusing on your behavior, rather than joining in to speculate about your boss's interactions with other employees. The discussion you asked for is quite different from the one you appear to want, which seems to be more along the lines of "my boss only advances those who grant him sexual favors and I am not sure how to deal with this." Unfortunately, even if your boss *is* passing you over because you won't grant him sexual favors, unless you have documented evidence and are willing to get involved in legal proceedings, it is largely irrelevant. If you have truly examined all the possible causes that have to do with your qualifications/attitude/behavior, and can honestly eliminate yourself as the root cause, then the only logical move is for you to get a new job. I do think that you need to be very sure that it is your boss who is the problem, since any other causes will simply travel to the new job with you. I think the suggestion to discuss this with your boss (with an open mind) is a good one. At best, you will learn what the problem is and, at worst, your suspicions may be confirmed. Either way, your future path should become more clear as a result. Best wishes to you. Link to post Share on other sites
mysteriousanon Posted February 5, 2004 Share Posted February 5, 2004 I think both external and internal causes are legit factors, and I thought I had admitted to playing a part. I wasn't angry at the posts, I was just a little disappointed because I thought I'd get more support and deeper insight. Not simply "it sounds like you're trying to do x and y" or "maybe you're at fault" I did get some, though, and I do appreciate it. Thanks again. Link to post Share on other sites
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