Wings Of Love Posted July 23, 2010 Share Posted July 23, 2010 I'm doing ok. Just ok. Which after 17 months is ridiculous, but there you go. A bit wound up though. My ex got back in touch in June after 10 months NC (initiated by me). Relationship broke down, he turned to me, two weeks later met someone else. Still talks to me, always complimenting me and joking around with me. The other day I was informed that his ex had been telling the partner of my cousin, who she works with, that my ex is gay and she's basically making spiteful comments behind his back. That same day I happened to be at her place of work and heard it for myself. So of course I warned him. He thanked me at first, but today he was saying he can trust no one anymore, including me. Then he said his girlfriend is the only one he can trust, and he's so deeply in love with her that she's all that matters. And yet just last week he said he was doubting his feelings for her. But apart from that annoyance, I'm fine. I've decided I'm sick of trying my best to be his friend only to have it thrown back in my face. Hope I can stick by it though. Link to post Share on other sites
Phscn Posted July 23, 2010 Share Posted July 23, 2010 I'm ok don't cry as much but I find myself thinking about him and missing him wondering if he's ok or not or if he feels the same. Broke NC (stupid me!) and it hurts that he's not even bothering to text me back. Link to post Share on other sites
chooch Posted July 23, 2010 Share Posted July 23, 2010 Keeping up the NC and feel less compelled to break. She isn't bothering with me so up to her. I still love her. Self evaluating and am on the road to leaving my bad traits behind. I have also been able to apportion some of the blame to her as well (I was mainly at fault though). But she's def changed... When we were together we were virgins so she was on pill, no need for anything else... but she's sleeping with the new guy unprotected! I know his past and I think she's likely to get an STI. Not my place to interfere but I can't believe how stupid she is being. I genuinely think one day (ONE DAY) she will look back and regret her decision. He has no prospects whereas I do and I'm not a bad person. I've changed for the better already, I can't undo the past and still have a lot of room for self improvement Link to post Share on other sites
kentgirl Posted July 23, 2010 Share Posted July 23, 2010 After reading through this thread, and knowing how I feel at the moment (complete sadness and anger), it makes me wonder why we actually put ourselves through all of this ****?? Is it worth it?? I mean seriously?? I don't think I ever want to go through this ever again Link to post Share on other sites
chooch Posted July 23, 2010 Share Posted July 23, 2010 After reading through this thread, and knowing how I feel at the moment (complete sadness and anger), it makes me wonder why we actually put ourselves through all of this ****?? Is it worth it?? I mean seriously?? I don't think I ever want to go through this ever again Because whatever you do learn from it will make your next relationship stronger and more likely to succeed. Chin up. Link to post Share on other sites
Thorgs Posted July 23, 2010 Share Posted July 23, 2010 I'm doing quite awful. I'm actually going to make an unexpected stop by his house on my way to my lake house tonight. I have no way of contacting him and it's frustrating. I know it's a bad idea...but i'm doing it anyways. Don't do it Jen. I know it's probably too late, but I hope you don't take a step backwards with this move. Best of luck! Link to post Share on other sites
kentgirl Posted July 24, 2010 Share Posted July 24, 2010 Because whatever you do learn from it will make your next relationship stronger and more likely to succeed. Chin up. I know what you're saying, but when I compare the great times of my relationship and how it made me feel good to the pain that I'm feeling now, it just doesn't really seem worth it. I think I'd rather just have a great group of friends and family, a good job and a bit of money then having to put myself through this heartache again. Link to post Share on other sites
chooch Posted July 24, 2010 Share Posted July 24, 2010 I know what you're saying, but when I compare the great times of my relationship and how it made me feel good to the pain that I'm feeling now, it just doesn't really seem worth it. I think I'd rather just have a great group of friends and family, a good job and a bit of money then having to put myself through this heartache again. Oh absolutely! I've kinda got a similar feeling on the issue. I'm not hanging around waiting for my ex to come back (though I'd love her to) but I'm not gonna go out chasing others. I know my heart wouldn't be in it. I've decided that in the meantime I'm gonna just keep 'a great group of friends and family' and a job I enjoy. One day either my ex will come back (if she was the one) or I'll fall in love with someone without intending to. I think that the spontaneity of falling in love without being 'on the pull' will just suck you in and it'll feel wonderful again. The fear of rejection and pain will be eclipsed by the feeling. But that's only if it happens naturally. If you force it, it won't come! But in the mean time I'm focusing on making my life good w/o a SO. We're born alone and die alone. Don't need relationships to be happy. Link to post Share on other sites
bettermustcome Posted July 24, 2010 Share Posted July 24, 2010 hi everyone! I am feeling so much better than when I first came to this forum 6 months ago.I know everyone always says it takes time, but the feeling of heartbreak is so painful that it doesn't seem like there is light at the end of the tunnel. My ex and I were together for 6 years and tried the friends thing and continued to work with each other after the break up. I finally realized the truth and let go of my hopes of getting back together. It was so liberating. I was able to continue to work with him and not be bothered by it..honestly.. This site helped me a lot..just to know that there were so many others that could relate to my feelings. I'm still get lonely sometimes..but to be where I am now and where I was..still amazes me..stay strong everyone and know that you deserve someone who wants to be with you and will treat you right! Link to post Share on other sites
jen_r Posted July 26, 2010 Share Posted July 26, 2010 Don't do it Jen. I know it's probably too late, but I hope you don't take a step backwards with this move. Best of luck! Yeah, it ended up being awful. He was not happy to see me and I had a mental breakdown in front of him to which he kicked me out of his house. Nice. Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted July 26, 2010 Share Posted July 26, 2010 Yeah, it ended up being awful. He was not happy to see me and I had a mental breakdown in front of him to which he kicked me out of his house. Nice. I'm sorry that happened to you. I still my miss my ex too, hang in there Link to post Share on other sites
Thorgs Posted July 26, 2010 Share Posted July 26, 2010 Yeah, it ended up being awful. He was not happy to see me and I had a mental breakdown in front of him to which he kicked me out of his house. Nice. Ouch, I'm sorry Link to post Share on other sites
SassyKitten Posted July 26, 2010 Share Posted July 26, 2010 Day 3 and it's the first day I've actually eaten a full meal. I still feel sad though. Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted July 26, 2010 Share Posted July 26, 2010 Day 3 and it's the first day I've actually eaten a full meal. I still feel sad though. Good for you! You will still feel sad for a while but it will get better Link to post Share on other sites
Thorgs Posted July 26, 2010 Share Posted July 26, 2010 Day 3 and it's the first day I've actually eaten a full meal. I still feel sad though. Tomorrow, eat 3 full meals (not all at once duh!) and then go for a run when it starts cooling off in the afternoon. You will feel like a new person! Link to post Share on other sites
SassyKitten Posted July 26, 2010 Share Posted July 26, 2010 I probably won't get to do the running part as it's over 100F outside today, but some yoga would definitely be good! Link to post Share on other sites
wrencn Posted July 26, 2010 Share Posted July 26, 2010 He moved out 12 days ago. I was doing really well for the first week or so. I've been feeling depressed for about 4 or 5 days now. I don't miss him per se, I just miss being a family and being married. I'm mad he's doing things he refused to do when he was home. I'm mad he's being a jerk and exposing my children to the girl he had an EA with. I'm mad at myself for being mad. I mad at myself for being sad and not being productive. Just going to sit and wait for the upswing to occur. Oh and today I'm going NC! It will be hard because of the kids but I will find a way. Link to post Share on other sites
Thorgs Posted July 26, 2010 Share Posted July 26, 2010 He moved out 12 days ago. I was doing really well for the first week or so. I've been feeling depressed for about 4 or 5 days now. I don't miss him per se, I just miss being a family and being married. I'm mad he's doing things he refused to do when he was home. I'm mad he's being a jerk and exposing my children to the girl he had an EA with. I'm mad at myself for being mad. I mad at myself for being sad and not being productive. Just going to sit and wait for the upswing to occur. Oh and today I'm going NC! It will be hard because of the kids but I will find a way. Although NC is extremely hard, it's the best way to heal and it's better than the alternative, which is low contact and getting strung along. Hang in there! Link to post Share on other sites
SassyKitten Posted July 26, 2010 Share Posted July 26, 2010 Today is hard. I've come to the realisation that I am going to have to keep reminding myself of the way he betrayed me in order to stop loving him. Link to post Share on other sites
Scruffydog Posted July 26, 2010 Share Posted July 26, 2010 He moved out 12 days ago. I was doing really well for the first week or so. I've been feeling depressed for about 4 or 5 days now. I don't miss him per se, I just miss being a family and being married. I'm mad he's doing things he refused to do when he was home. I'm mad he's being a jerk and exposing my children to the girl he had an EA with. I'm mad at myself for being mad. I mad at myself for being sad and not being productive. Just going to sit and wait for the upswing to occur. Oh and today I'm going NC! It will be hard because of the kids but I will find a way. That's the worst part, it would be so much easier without innocent kids involved. I'm moving out at the end of next week to 'give her some space' as she puts it. Gonna have to find somewhere for me and my scruffy dog. I've never felt this low but reading the posts and comments on here is giving me hope for the future. Thanks guys... Scruffydog Link to post Share on other sites
jen_r Posted July 26, 2010 Share Posted July 26, 2010 I'm still doing bad. I dont think ONE hour has gone by where he hasn't popped into my head. I wonder how many times I popped into his? My birthday is coming up in a week, that is going to be one horrible f**king day, can't wait. Link to post Share on other sites
Thorgs Posted July 26, 2010 Share Posted July 26, 2010 I'm still doing bad. I dont think ONE hour has gone by where he hasn't popped into my head. I wonder how many times I popped into his? My birthday is coming up in a week, that is going to be one horrible f**king day, can't wait. I feel your pain gal. My ex dropped me and we had so many plans for the summer (even including her kids!). It's tough, one day at a time... Link to post Share on other sites
jen_r Posted July 26, 2010 Share Posted July 26, 2010 I feel your pain gal. My ex dropped me and we had so many plans for the summer (even including her kids!). It's tough, one day at a time... Yeah. I know :-/ But i'm so alone...I literally have no one. I've either pushed everyone away or everyone else is with their SO's. Link to post Share on other sites
Thorgs Posted July 26, 2010 Share Posted July 26, 2010 Yeah. I know :-/ But i'm so alone...I literally have no one. I've either pushed everyone away or everyone else is with their SO's. I have no one either. My phone hasn't rang and I haven't received a text since my break from anyone and that was 30 days ago (and I'm not including my ex's daughter who tried texting me yesterday) :/ Link to post Share on other sites
jen_r Posted July 27, 2010 Share Posted July 27, 2010 I have no one either. My phone hasn't rang and I haven't received a text since my break from anyone and that was 30 days ago (and I'm not including my ex's daughter who tried texting me yesterday) :/ =( ...same here my friend. I'm young, I shouldn't be in this situation. My friend actually texted me to come over and grill and have some drinks, but it was just her and her bf...I declined. I'm not up to anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts