Thorgs Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 Go Air Force. I am former army too. 27 is cut off for AF, plus I'm about 13 lbs under minimum weight thanks to depression ruining my life, ahh! What was your MOS? Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 (edited) 27 is cut off for AF, plus I'm about 13 lbs under minimum weight thanks to depression ruining my life, ahh! What was your MOS? I am 21 B.................this Edited July 30, 2010 by skydiveaddict Link to post Share on other sites
wrencn Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 27 is cut off for AF, plus I'm about 13 lbs under minimum weight thanks to depression ruining my life, ahh! What was your MOS? 68S- preventive medicine and 68A- biomedical equipment repair (52 long long weeks). Link to post Share on other sites
jen_r Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 Well, how the tables turn. I didn't contact him at all today and guess who I get a phone call from @ 9:30pm. I didn't answer. Pft, how typical. And I'm doing ok! Wondering what he wanted, but not worked up over the fact that he called! Thats a HUGE step in my opinion! Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 good for you! keep up NC Link to post Share on other sites
wrencn Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 Well, how the tables turn. I didn't contact him at all today and guess who I get a phone call from @ 9:30pm. I didn't answer. Pft, how typical. And I'm doing ok! Wondering what he wanted, but not worked up over the fact that he called! Thats a HUGE step in my opinion! Happy Dance. Now seriously go NC and ice his no good ass! Let him squirm for a while. ------------ I'm irritated. My children are not a time share- I hate this shared custody thing. I see why some parents get crazy. Its just not natural to not have your children with you at all times. Link to post Share on other sites
jen_r Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 Happy Dance. Now seriously go NC and ice his no good ass! Let him squirm for a while. I'm going to try. I am going away tomorrow for a whole week with limited service on my cell. I still have that email I want to send him, but I may have to wait till I return next weekend. Link to post Share on other sites
TheUnthoughtKnown Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 (edited) I'm not doing that okay... I've been talkin to my friends about this for a while. There needs to be a solution to break ups. That heartbreak you suffer is awful. Its just a deep, dark hole you feel you'll never get out of and I honestly hate it so much. Its 3:45AM here and I cannot sleep coz I'm too busy reading through old texts from her that I can't bring myself to delete and I feel like such a fool, such an embarrassment for letting her get to me this much! I feel like its not natural! I've tried working out, hanging out with my friends, going nights out, listening to music, everything and anything I can possibly think of and I still have moments like this when I feel like crying coz she won't leave my mind!! This has to stop! I can't live my life like this, its interfering with everything. I have no contact with her, and have not had for a few months now. MONTHS! So where does it end? If I've been going months without speaking to her, and I STILL cannot stop thinkin bout her, how do I quit?? This is killing me, I'm honestly at my wits end...I just don't know the answer, and I really want this to stop now... I'm sorry for the rant, I just...I really needed to vent and it's too late for me to call or text any friends. Edited July 30, 2010 by TheUnthoughtKnown Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 I'm doing lousy tonight for some reason Link to post Share on other sites
Thorgs Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 I am 21 B.................this Do you enjoy it? I'd only enlist for 2 years so I can get some help with school...but I wouldn't have the attitude of those that go for that reason, that I hear so many soldiers who are there for the long haul complain about. 68S- preventive medicine and 68A- biomedical equipment repair (52 long long weeks). That sounds interesting! I'm guessing you'd make a great nurse! This week has been one for the record books. I've done almost everything against LS advice, but for some reason I feel at peace. Struggling through the 2 weeks of NC helped though. Well, I got a call tonight from my ex after I was jogging and came upon her and her ex husband fighting in a random parking lot. Hung out with her and her girls for a few hours. It was amazing, even though we aren't getting back together. I hope I don't relapse, but right now I'm feeling great. We didn't do anything "naughty" either. I'm blessed that she is in my life...even though it's not every day. If it was every day, then my heart might as well just burst at the seams. Watch for me in a couple days...I might fall back into a dark place, but I'm praying that I'm wont. Link to post Share on other sites
TheUnthoughtKnown Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 Well, I got a call tonight from my ex after I was jogging and came upon her and her ex husband fighting in a random parking lot. Hung out with her and her girls for a few hours. It was amazing, even though we aren't getting back together. I hope I don't relapse, but right now I'm feeling great. We didn't do anything "naughty" either. I'm blessed that she is in my life...even though it's not every day. If it was every day, then my heart might as well just burst at the seams. Watch for me in a couple days...I might fall back into a dark place, but I'm praying that I'm wont. It sounds to me as though you are still in love with your ex to some degree. I think even you know that :/ The problem with that kind of thing is that, in my opinion, it is almost impossible to be friends with someone you are in love with. Mostly because those feelings tend to get in the way of any type of friendship. I hope you don't fall back into that dark place, and all I would advise, if I may, is that you be careful what you're doing, and keep an eye on where this new friendship with your ex is going. Link to post Share on other sites
boosh Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 I think today has been the first "good" day since the breakup last Thursday/Friday. I'm still extremely sad, and I'm still pining over wanting her back, but I've resisted all the urges, and haven't broken down yet and tried to get into contact her since Sunday when I smartened up and decided to go NC to allow us, mainly myself, to heal. I don't know what I'd do if she called, emailed, etc., but I feel like the NC thing really does start to get easier and easier as time progresses, especially after the first week. Am I wrong to assume that? My friends have been great to me my whole life, but this past week is really reaffirming that belief. I don't even feel the need ton bring it up around them anymore, I just have been in a much better mood the times we've hung out this week since the breakup. Like I posted in my thread, it's also funny how life throws you curve balls. I decided I needed to really seek out the completely unbiased opinion of somebody who knows me best, and that was my ex that I dated for 3 years. We broke up almost 2 years ago now, and have been on friendly speaking terms since. I knew she wouldn't sugar coat what I told her, and frankly what she said I needed to read and hear. It's a process, but I do feel like I'm on the road to changing what I desperately need to change about me, and because of that, I'm also on the road to healing. Today was the day I truly for the first time accepted that the breakup was the best thing for both parties involved, and I feel like that is a huge step towards feeling good again. I do have reconciliation in my mind, but that's a path that will be crossed when it needs to be. Link to post Share on other sites
Thorgs Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 It sounds to me as though you are still in love with your ex to some degree. I think even you know that :/ The problem with that kind of thing is that, in my opinion, it is almost impossible to be friends with someone you are in love with. Mostly because those feelings tend to get in the way of any type of friendship. I hope you don't fall back into that dark place, and all I would advise, if I may, is that you be careful what you're doing, and keep an eye on where this new friendship with your ex is going. I hear you 100%. I am still deeply in love with her, as she is with me. We have both stated that...but right now, I'm going to focus on myself and if she wants to hang out every now and then, I'm fine with it. She will see a happy and confident man, the one she fell in love with. Thank you for the advice, I will use it for sure! Link to post Share on other sites
wrencn Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 Day 5 of NC. Had a sad moment earlier because I realized how we each are doing such fun things with our kids separately but never did them together. My oldest son just asked for us to slow down with the activities because we are running him ragged lol. I'm really tired to because I keep a busy schedule of activities. I feel if I sit at home he wins. It a silly mentality. Link to post Share on other sites
wrencn Posted August 6, 2010 Share Posted August 6, 2010 I've lost track of how many days it has been of NC, 12 I think. He texted me yesterday asking about my sons birth certificate but that was it. I'm doing really well. I'm not sad, and I don't miss him. I worry that I'm taking it too well and a breakdown is right around the corner, or that I'm a heartless witch to get over him so easily... I need to learn to just enjoy the peace and happiness I'm experiencing for the first time in a long time! Link to post Share on other sites
Kman21 Posted August 7, 2010 Share Posted August 7, 2010 Well my girlfriend broke up with me about 3 years ago. Can't believe it's been that long...anyways I still think about her and I am not fully over her. She already is with someone else now. Recently I saw her Facebook and added her. I think it was a bad idea to add her because I still feel for her... we did not talk for a year. I don't know y I can't Get over after all she put me through like lieing to me. She never cheated on me or anything like that. I never been with anyone since and I personally believe that if I went with someone else it would help me move on. She also wanted me to move on too. Link to post Share on other sites
boosh Posted August 7, 2010 Share Posted August 7, 2010 Ex broke up with me about 3 weeks ago. I was NC with her until the other day (see my last thread). Today is back to day 1 of NC, and I am perfectly okay with it now. We saw each other Thursday because I had to give her some money I owed her from a vacation a few months ago, and we talked then and yesterday in person about everything. My main concern with her is that she has such a sheltered and unwavering POV about a lot of things. I could never talk about those types of things when we were together because they'd turn into fights in the long run because of our personalities. However, yesterday especially, was just a good genuine conversation between two people that still really care for each other but realize that being apart for a good few months at minimum is what needed to happen, even if we don't end up getting back together in the long run. We both decided it'd be best for both of us to go NC with each other while we heal emotionally, and soul search. It's a weird feeling, but it's a calming feeling, an almost peaceful feeling to know all that now. Initially I felt like she didn't really care, and that she had made up her mind and that was that. No going back. But after yesterday, while she didn't specifically say she could revisit stuff at a later date, I wasn't expecting her to. Frankly who would say that at that kind of a time? It's just comforting to know that she really does care. She cares about me, she cares about us, and is willing to give it time, give us time, to figure things out for ourselves and really begin to heal emotionally. Step 1 in this long process, for me I think has finally come to a close, and now it's on to step 2, whatever that may be. Link to post Share on other sites
Thorgs Posted August 7, 2010 Share Posted August 7, 2010 I've lost track of how many days it has been of NC, 12 I think. He texted me yesterday asking about my sons birth certificate but that was it. I'm doing really well. I'm not sad, and I don't miss him. I worry that I'm taking it too well and a breakdown is right around the corner, or that I'm a heartless witch to get over him so easily... I need to learn to just enjoy the peace and happiness I'm experiencing for the first time in a long time! I wish I had your strength honey! Link to post Share on other sites
lostalongtheway Posted August 8, 2010 Share Posted August 8, 2010 Not doing that great. Last night, while dwelling on my "misery" (a.k.a my ex boyfriend of 4 years) instead of sleeping, I was thinking that my ideal breakup counselor would be with me 24 hours a day, making sure I kept to NC by wrenching phones from my hand, blocking me from my email, distracting me from my obsessive thoughts, and constantly telling me how fabulous and worthy I am. In my sleep deprived fantasy my counselor is male, handsome, kind, compassionate, and NOT heterosexual. Maybe I can find him with Google... Link to post Share on other sites
Sambo Posted August 8, 2010 Share Posted August 8, 2010 (edited) Day 30 for me NC. I tried to stay friends with her for 2 weeks before that but that was just brutal. She kept telling me about her new boyfriend and how she was falling in love. I feel almost 40% like my old self now but I am depressed because I've been trying to date (mostly to stay busy) and at 46 my prospects are not so good and I can't stop comparing everyone to her. She was an exceptional woman for her age and our love life was amazing. I was out on a date tonight and the woman literally threw herself at me and I all I could do was get out of her apartment. It made me so sad because all I could think about was HOW the HELL could my ex find someone within 7 days of breaking up and be falling in love so fast when I can't even imagine another woman. Pamela Anderson could come on to me and I couldn't touch her. But the good news is I do feel better so take hope people and stay NC. Edited August 8, 2010 by Sambo Link to post Share on other sites
Sambo Posted August 10, 2010 Share Posted August 10, 2010 Day 30 for me NC. I tried to stay friends with her for 2 weeks before that but that was just brutal. She kept telling me about her new boyfriend and how she was falling in love. I feel almost 40% like my old self now but I am depressed because I've been trying to date (mostly to stay busy) and at 46 my prospects are not so good and I can't stop comparing everyone to her. She was an exceptional woman for her age and our love life was amazing. I was out on a date tonight and the woman literally threw herself at me and I all I could do was get out of her apartment. It made me so sad because all I could think about was HOW the HELL could my ex find someone within 7 days of breaking up and be falling in love so fast when I can't even imagine another woman. Pamela Anderson could come on to me and I couldn't touch her. But the good news is I do feel better so take hope people and stay NC. Well that was short lived. I received an email from here and she updating me on things and just touching base yesteday. I wrote a short email back saying I was fine and nothing to deep. I felt I had to do this because we still have some financial ties and I am not going to hide from her intentionally. Today I feel a little bit of a set back but I think I will be fine. Link to post Share on other sites
TheMB Posted August 10, 2010 Share Posted August 10, 2010 Sambo, you've already proven that you can go 30 days. I'm sure that this NC period will be even longer than that. Link to post Share on other sites
NewToLS Posted August 11, 2010 Share Posted August 11, 2010 I'm NewToLS(New to Love Shack) who wrote thread about ...we're both in late 50's and he's not contacting me......just a couple of days ago. I'm still wondering why bother with more than platonic relationships at all. Feel really jaded, cynical, and tired. It does seem that once you really start liking someone, and they know that you care, things change. It's almost like...oh, she really cares...therefore, I can say and do anything now. Guess I've let it happen because I'm very logical, reasonable, etc., etc. Don't scream, shout, etc. Guess I need to be a b***h. Seems like those folks don't get crapped on as much. I just don't know. Trying to stay busy but I keeping thinking of what we planned and the fun that was to be had. Now, I have no travel partner, no one to dream with, no one to go to a movie with.....I hate that my heart feels so closed. So glad for LS. I've learned so much and am still reading through the various threads. Link to post Share on other sites
lost86 Posted August 11, 2010 Share Posted August 11, 2010 pretty poo to be honest, found out today how much of a slag my ex has been since she left me, at least its helped me knock her off her pedestal and helped me concentrate on finding new love! Link to post Share on other sites
Sambo Posted August 11, 2010 Share Posted August 11, 2010 Sambo, you've already proven that you can go 30 days. I'm sure that this NC period will be even longer than that. Thanks ! I do feel a little stupid for writing her back a nice email now though because she didn't even respond to it. I don't even know if she got it and to be honest I don't even care. I love her but I only want her back if she's going to respect me. Link to post Share on other sites
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