I LOST HER.

[SADHURT]

I NEED HELP!!!!! I HAVE BEEN DATING THIS GIRL FOR TWO YEARS AND MONDAY SHE WANTED TO BREAK UP. SHE KEPT SAYING THESE THINGS THAT KEPT HURTING ME UNTIL I FINALLY BROKE UP WITH HER. SHE SAID WE NEED TIME AWAY FROM EACH OTHER BUT I DON'T THINK SO, I LOVE HER WITH ALL OF MY HEART AND SHE SAID SHE LOVES ME BUT I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE. WE ALWAYS HAD A GOOD TIME TOGETHER, BUT WE FOUGHT ALOT. SHE SAID SHE WOULD DATE ME AGAIN IN A YEAR BUT NOW AFTER A WEEK SHE ALREADY HAS A GUY ON HER. I HAVE NEVER HURT SO BAD IN MY LIFE. HOW COULD I GET HERE BACK, AND IF I CAN'T HOW CAN I DEAL WITH THE PAIN. I'VE ALREADY THOUGHT ABOUT SUICIDE. PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!

[Steve]

Sadhurt,

 

I can relate to what you're feeling. I went through a similar breakup with a girl I had been dating for three years. What helped me during that time (it was extremely painful) was talking to people about it and seeing that it happens and is a part of life. In any case, it was always a consolance to me that other people had been through it. So my best advice is-- don't worry..the sadness will pass and the pain will pass.. It doesn't make it any easier. But the greatest act of love is letting go: If you love something then set it free, if it comes back to you it was meant to be.

 

Talk to your friends, your family about how you feel; there are many people who love and care about you. Rely on them-- they will help you; and they've always been, always will be there for you. Most of all-- allow yourself to feel the pain...and see where it brings you. I can't deny that it is painful-- but this pain can lead you to great growth and knowledge about yourself. When you look back at this period of time..you may realize how much you've learned..and be grateful that she let you see so much (this was the case for me).

 

Well, if you need someone to talk to-- you can come to our irc site..many people there are willing to listen and would love to help.

[Jonathan]

I NEED HELP!!!!! I HAVE BEEN DATING THIS GIRL FOR TWO YEARS AND MONDAY SHE WANTED TO BREAK UP. SHE KEPT SAYING THESE THINGS THAT KEPT HURTING ME UNTIL I FINALLY BROKE UP WITH HER. SHE SAID WE NEED TIME AWAY FROM EACH OTHER BUT I DON'T THINK SO, I LOVE HER WITH ALL OF MY HEART AND SHE SAID SHE LOVES ME BUT I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE. WE ALWAYS HAD A GOOD TIME TOGETHER, BUT WE FOUGHT ALOT. SHE SAID SHE WOULD DATE ME AGAIN IN A YEAR BUT NOW AFTER A WEEK SHE ALREADY HAS A GUY ON HER. I HAVE NEVER HURT SO BAD IN MY LIFE. HOW COULD I GET HERE BACK, AND IF I CAN'T HOW CAN I DEAL WITH THE PAIN. I'VE ALREADY THOUGHT ABOUT SUICIDE. PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

There comes a time when a person just has to open up and listen--I mean really listen--to that other person's needs. I'm currently losing my wife to another man. There was just something about me she got tired of real quick, because we didn't even meet our first anniversary. She said I wasn't ambitious enough, even though I do the household chores and bring home a paycheck. Since I couldn't put my thumb on what she wanted, we drifted apart. She didn't even want to attend marriage counseling. How's that for wanting to save a marriage?

 

 

Anyway, you see where I'm coming from. If there's no communication, there's no relation. It's too late for me, now. I'm still pretty numb and hurt to all this going on, but I'm used to this sort of pain. That's the only advantage I have at times.

 

 

My best advice right now is to get a pen-pal. You laugh? I mean it. A decent lady pen pal, if you're decent to her and she likes to write, will pretty much be there for you through thick and thin. I've been writing to a woman out in Staten Island for almost a third of my life now. She's a saint! Let me tell you how it began. I was alone and severely depressed in 1987, and I was dangerously obsessed by a girl named Jennifer I had met in Cheyenne, Wyoming. I purchased a magazine called Metal Edge for the rock enthusiast I am, and coincidentally the mag had names and addresses of people who wished to be contacted regarding various bands and other subject matter. Well, I wrote to Jennifer (also my pen pal's name) from Staten Island and the rest is history. I was 15 years old and she, 14. I'm now 26. If I had to choose between another love life and my pen pal, I'd blow the love off in a wink. I've learned all too well friends are more important.

 

 

By the way, suicide definately is not worth it! Jen told me recently...she wasn't Ms. Right...just another Ms. Right Now. I don't know what feelings my pen pal harbors for me as far as love goes, as I avoid the temptation to ask, but I do know one thing--she genuinely cares as a friend.

[bill]

give it another month and i promise that you will realize that your life is worth more than your relationship.