shes a friend and i like her

[hopelesslover123]

i cant sleep, this issue is sucking the life out of me. ok so theres this girl right. i like her ALOT, and ive liked her for a while now. we have known each other for about 2yrs. she is awesome we have been hangin out alot these past few months and we have grown closer as friends. she has class, she is very well put together, she has goals, she has a beautiful family, she makes me so happy. but im starting to like her now even more, even tho ive always been amazed by her, im starting to really see her differently now. the thing is, she is not of the christian apostolic assembly belief, she is of mainstream christian trinitarian belief, and this has been holding me bak for a long time because of opposing views on faith, this has held me bak on making moves to her. Let me tell you why: ... Her family isnt legalistic at ALL about that sort of thing so if i dated her they probably wouldnt mind the fact that im apostolic. but get this tho: if it were upto me, i wouldnt give a DAM! but my family wood KILL me if i date this girl. see, my family expects me to date ONLY apostolic assembly gurls, VERY legalistic, the thing is i havent found the rite apostolic girl for me yet. the ones i know are either too spiritual to the point where they cant have any fun or just not compatible with me at all. and if i do find one, she probably lives 300+ miles away and i wood have to deal with the issues of a long distance relationship, and if i do find her let me add that she probably already has an apostolic boyfriend, so she is stamped with a TAKEN sign. i shouldnt have to put myself thru that when there are thousands of girls here in my city that i can date and have the qualities that im looking for and close enuff to where i can be around her all the time and really get to know her. the thing is there are NO dating-type apostolic assembly girls in my city being that my church is evidently the only one, there are no dating-type girls in my church!!! AT ALL!!! the girls in my church are VERY immature and they have no aspirations to ANYTHING. so im dying here! if this whole trinitarian thingy wit my fam and whole district and denomination wasnt an issue MAN I WOOD DEFINATLY go after this girl like a pack of hayeenas! lol. but, i cant. and ive grown miserable for not telling her about this, and its affecting even our friendship becuz she doesnt know why ive been acting so miserably, she doesnt kno why i dont treat her the same anymore. she told me the other day "... i feel like your pulling away from me alot", and its tru, i have. she has told me this 2wice and it kills me whenever she points it out cuz i dont know wat to do about it. and now i have a hunch she is leaning over towards another guy, but not exaclty all out leaning to date him cuz she doesnt like certain serious detail things about him like his views on dating, but he obviously likes her and now that i cant help but to feel miserable, this is allowing him to draw closer and closer to her. he is another friend of mine as well by the way. but she is slipping thru my fingers and im getting so jealous even tho they havent even started talking yet, if they arent already, but they probably havent told me, but he is SOOOOOOOOOO making moves to her and idk im not exactly sure but i think she is starting to feel him. i dont even know if she likes me bak, but im sure that she would definatly date me if i EVER turn it up a notch. i cood c it in her eyes too, but i will never know for sure. sumtimes we cross our sights together and i just get that feeling that it could happen. and when she is close to me i feel deep down inside that she is the rite girl for me. she has probably been waiting for me to make a move this whole time, idk, thing is i probably let her down by now if she did cuz my hands are tied and i cant make any moves!! but if i make a move and i start to get in there, then she will fall for me, and i will like her bak, then there will be no turning bak...but then id have to deal with MY FAMILY being OUTRAGED. GRRRRRRRRRR!!! this is a LOVELY PROBLEM!!

 

you know how every girl is looking for that guy that thinks she is beautiful all the same even with or without the makeup? well im that guy to her. but she will never know. i wish she was here next to me rite now. i wish it was easy to just come out and TELL ALL to her but i know how she gets when another one of her guy friends falls for her and she doesnt like that guy bak. she has been thru that b4 and i dont wanna be the next guy friend to fall for her and put her in an awkward position. ..so HELP!!! what do i do?