We like each other a lot , slept together - we're acting like nothing's happened

[Daffy]

apologies in advance for being long-winded.

 

a guy, who is very good friends with my cousin and her fiancée has liked me for quite some time and has always flirted his butt off with me. my cousin and her fiancée have always said that he’s head over heels for me and he once said that any guy who can’t see what they have in me is an idiot. I’ve also liked him for quite some time too, but he only recently found this out (I didn’t’ tell him, my cousin did). when he found out that I like him, he was stoked but at the same time, he told my cousin that he’s not sure if he’s ready for anything yet. we’re over my cousin’s place a lot, so we see each other practically every weekend.

 

after a few drinks last weekend, one thing led to another and we ended up sleeping together. he was really great about it. at first, I wasn’t sure if we should do it because I didn’t’ want to jump into anything. he told me that’s fine and that he’s happy to snuggle if I want to. so yeah, we snuggled alright – and then horizontal bopped. he told me he really, really cares about me. I told him I really, really like him. he also told me not to be scared (he knows I’ve been burned in the past and that I’m actually quite shy to approach guys).

 

the next day, it was all cool – we acted like nothing happened. I sent him a message that day saying “mmm…verrry nice” to which I got no reply. my cousin told me later that day that he’d be spinning out because he has a low sexual self-esteem (the last girl he was seeing criticized his performance – ouch). he was serious when he asked my cousin if I said he was good in the sack. he was serious when he told her that he’s still the same ole guy, even though we slept together.

 

we haven’t actually spoken about what happened. I don’t know what to say to be honest. we like each other, but we’re both doing the same thing – acting like nothing’s happened. we’re both very shy people. it was a big, big thing for him to actually make a move on me and he still doesn’t know where he got the balls to do it. we also have the same values when it comes to relationships and treating people properly.

 

now to my problem: I care about him a lot, I slept with him, I’m acting like nothing’s happened – we both are. I’ve never been in this situation before and I don’t know what to do. I saw him last night at my cousin’s place. she was talking about how a girl at her work wants to do a photo shoot for a shopping center poster (the shopping center has asked for staff to apply). he asked “is she cute?” and for some reason I felt sunk. I mean, it’s a natural question, I’d ask it if she were talking about a guy. maybe he’s just carrying on like a guy and I’m just carrying on like a girl reacting like that. I felt sunk when he asked if a girl that him and my cousin’s fiancée know is coming to party. I wouldn’t have felt that way if it was a guy he was asking about. I read into things and thought maybe he’s trying to tell me something by mentioning other chicks or maybe he's wanting a reaction from me. * grrrr * this is so unlike me!

 

I like him so much, but I don’t want to jump into anything. he’s very special to me but I’m terrified of saying the wrong thing or coming on too strong. I’m not after a house with a picket fence and 2.5 kids. I suppose I’m terrified of being rejected by a guy who I think is awesome. When I told this to my cousin last night (minus the part about feeling sunk over the girl comments) she told me to relax and not eat myself up over what happened between us. she said he thinks the world of me.

 

I’m so confused I don’t know where to go from here. he works really long hours and has his daughter on weekends so it’s a bit difficult to make time to see each other alone. something said casually would be nice, but what and how? how do I stop being so scared?

 

thank you so much for listening to this hell of a saga!

[xalysabethh]

honestly i think that you need to have a talk with him. just put any awkward feelings behind you and have a talk of telling him how you feel etc. then you can see how he feels if he possiably wants something or not. thats the only way you'll know

xalysabeth

[carla]

You have opportunity knocking on your door. 1. Valentine's Day is a week away.

2. It's Leap year, The girl is to ask the guy. Ask him if he's got any plans for Valentines' Day. Don't act as though sleeping with each other is no big deal, because it should be a big deal. If his last gf complained about inadequacy and your not making eyes or sexy smile when he looks your way he is probably thinking that you are confirming what his last gf thought. Make your move. The worst that can happen is that he will turn you down and he just used you, but then you know he is a real jerk and you don't need to waste anymore time on him.

But... I think like you said he is shy and he is probably feeling wow what did I do?

I moved to quickly. She probably thinks I'm a dog. He probably wants to talk to you but because of low self esteem he's afraid of being rejected. So... bite the bullet and make your move. Chances are you will be happy with the result. As for asking if the girl is cute. It's a guy thing. You admitted that you would do the same if it was a guy. Good Luck