Troubled Boy Posted July 17, 2000 Share Posted July 17, 2000 I don't know if i'm at the right place to ask this but it's kinda about love anyway. I am a 17 years old boy and I have a quite strange problem : I can't ejaculate during intercourse. She is my first girlfriend so I used to masturbate a lot before knowing her. Before having my first sexual intercourse (it was with her 3 weeks ago), I always thought that I would come just at the sight of a naked women body. HELL I WAS WRONG! To be honest, I come BUT IT TAKES TIME! Let me explain : after maybe 30 mins of penetration, without coming, my body needs to relax. She had her orgarsm. To have mine, I have to masturbate (with her permission) maybe another 30 mins. Then I come, but it was hard! Her vagina doesn't stimulate me at all, it's too soft. I can't also come when she gives me a blowjob, well I could if she had the energy to last tong enough (don't missinterpret me, it's my fault I admit it). So she stops and say : "Finish it, my wrist are dead and you're better than me". It's always a sad moment for me. OK HERE'S THE LOVE PART : I love my partner very much and she loves me too. Not having an orgasm doesn't bug me that much but knowing that she feels incompetent and guilty broke my heart. I would like to give her a little bit of motivation by coming. It must be really anoying for her to blow me without any results. I care for my dear... So my question is : What do you think about it girls? I'm so young and in shape, why can't I just come??? Does it happens often guys?? Am I freaking out for nothing??? Is there is a way to treat it? WHY CAN'T I JUST BE NORMAL!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted July 17, 2000 Share Posted July 17, 2000 You say you used to masturbate a lot. Do you still do this, even though you have a girlfriend? You need to go a few days without any penile stimulation at all before you can expect to function properly if you have been masturbating excessively for a period of time. Your penis is used to the firm and rapid movement used when you stimulate yourself. It needs to get used to being in a different place. This may take some time. If she is overlubricating or if there is insufficient friction, that can be a problem. Don't panic. There are times when it takes a while for male and female to get used to each other to the point where both are able to reach climax. Don't make a really big deal of this. You are young and your body can repair itself rapidly. But cease all masturbation now and give yourself three or four days before you attempt intercourse again. Also, a well balanced diet and plenty of rest can help in this regard. There could even be a bit of anxiety involved as well, even at your young age. Stay cool and give it some time. However, if this problem should continue, see your doctor for some medical suggestions on how you can overcome your problem. Link to post Share on other sites
Troubled Boy Posted July 17, 2000 Share Posted July 17, 2000 Thanks for the advice Tony but... I already tryed to wait a couple of days and you know what happened? I did come (by masturbation) but it took as long as usual and there was a sea of cum on my partner. It was very embarassing (Thank god my girl is the sweetest). In other the words: it's the same but with more cum! I'll try to follow your advice, to take it cool since my girlfriend isn't on the pill (we're using condom but I don't trust them so I asked her to take it). It's sure that the condom doesn't help... and i'll try to stop any form of masturbation. I've got a couple of questions for you Tony : - I've read that it usually takes 4-7 minutes to come is that true ??? How much is perfect? - I know you're not a sexologist but do you know if it's common ??? Thanks again! You say you used to masturbate a lot. Do you still do this, even though you have a girlfriend? You need to go a few days without any penile stimulation at all before you can expect to function properly if you have been masturbating excessively for a period of time. Your penis is used to the firm and rapid movement used when you stimulate yourself. It needs to get used to being in a different place. This may take some time. If she is overlubricating or if there is insufficient friction, that can be a problem. Don't panic. There are times when it takes a while for male and female to get used to each other to the point where both are able to reach climax. Don't make a really big deal of this. You are young and your body can repair itself rapidly. But cease all masturbation now and give yourself three or four days before you attempt intercourse again. Also, a well balanced diet and plenty of rest can help in this regard. There could even be a bit of anxiety involved as well, even at your young age. Stay cool and give it some time. However, if this problem should continue, see your doctor for some medical suggestions on how you can overcome your problem. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted July 17, 2000 Share Posted July 17, 2000 There are simply no set time patterns for reaching an orgasm, either for a male or female. While four to seven minutes sounds right in some cases, one person can vary in time from experience to experience. People are all different and averages don't mean anything. You're going to get yourself in a lot of trouble and drive yourself nuts if you overanalyze this situation. Just be concerned about what is normal for you. Work through this problem with your girlfriend and you'll get it right. Remember what is normal and average is what is normal and average for YOU. Link to post Share on other sites
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