Screwed.

[ninjalogan]

Alright...I'm new to these forums and this is my first post...but I'm going to give it a go.

 

I've been dating a woman for about a year now. I first met her about a week after my fiance' of four years cheated on me and left me for another guy(I met Andrea before the ex had even moved out of state). Believe me...this plays into the story a tad later.

 

Anyway...I went through the usual symptoms. Denial...anger...self-pity...acceptance. All the while Andrea stayed with me and endured. I broke up with her three times through it all...and then one day I just...woke up. I loved Andrea with all of my heart. I had almost thrown away the best thing that had ever happened to me THREE TIMES! I even had a scare when I thought I had cancer (tests came out negative, thank God) and lost both of my grandparents (who raised me from a baby) to cancer, I lost my house and almost had to declare bankruptcy. Needless to say...Andrea came into my life when I was in a bit of a slump. However...she helped me and pulled me out of it all, and when it was all over and I was back to myself again...I realized I'd fallen in love with her.

 

So...I begin to browse engagement rings(Valentine's day is coming up) I'm 25 and not getting any younger, Andrea is 26 and is feeling the biological clock ticking, so I figure...what the heck. It's time to make that leap of faith again and hope not to get shot down. Then...all hell breaks loose.

 

A girl that I had met while out with friends finds Andrea on Yahoo messenger. The conversation turns to me and then this other girl drops a bomb. She said that her and I had sex.

 

This is the story. This girl's sister was dancing. My friend Jeff really liked her, but he's a coward and wouldn't talk to her. So he asked me to do it. So, I talked to the sister and introduced Jeff. Then enter the girl. So, to run interference I talk to the girl so that Jeff can have a better chance with the sister. I talk to her most of the night and even dance with her. She shares some intimate details about herself and I share some about me (STUPID STUPID STUPID) and then we all go out to a late breakfast and then part ways. I drive the girl home, drop her off AT HER DRIVEWAY and then leave. I took her number and promised to call (which I did ALSO STUPID) and then went home. After I got home (about 15 minutes later) I called Jeff to make sure he was alright and made it home safe, which he did.

 

Think I'm stupid? Wait...I get more stupid here. I am out with my friend Doug, who sees a girl he thinks is attractive. Guess who she's friends with? You guessed it...same girl. So...I move in, work the deal and get my friend hooked up with her friend. No worries. Well...at the end of the night, friend wants to drive Doug to her place, so I take the girl home...again. And again, I drop her off at her driveway she asks me in and I politely refuse and return home. After I get home, I call Doug on his cell to find out how he's doing and he tells me that things are going well. Again...15 minutes or so had elapsed. Basically...I got my mojo going TWICE in under 20 minutes or so. Believe me...I am NOT that cool of a guy. I wear Vans and tight jeans and dorky computer t-shirts. Anyway...

 

So here I am...looking at this e-mail thinking, "What in the hell is going on?" Anyway, at first Andrea believed me...she let it go and we continued to grow in our relationship. Then, she contacts the girl again and the same story goes. Then suddenly there are e-mails where I said things like, "Yeah, it was great, blah blah blah" and all of the other really hot steamy details. Also, Andrea makes up a user ID similar to mine and pretends to be me, where the girl cusses me and calls me an a-hole and says she thought I was a nice guy, blah blah blah. Also, there was some movie that I got a line from that I supposedly used on both Andrea AND this girl.

 

Basically...this is a big long post that has no sense or purpose to it...basicaly it's a post that is as lost as I am. Andrea is totally convinced I slept with this girl. She keeps saying, "I can't believe you did this." I've tried talking to the other girl, but she talks to me like I'm some kind of psycho-moron jerk and keeps asking me how I could lie and she thought I was a nice guy. I try to talk sense into Andrea but she keeps talking to this psycho girl. I admit I am totally at fault here. I dumped Andrea three times because I wasn't sure of myself or my relationship and I spent a lot of time away from her when I did it. I've got everything against me and nothing in my favor. Heck, I WOULDN'T EVEN BELIEVE ME. Does anyone have any idea what the heck I can do? What I should or can do? I am NOT a cheater! I have been cheated on and I know how much it sucks and now I am faced with losing the best thing in my life and there's nothing I can say or do to make her trust me again.

 

Help.

[TEETER]

Well let's see here. You took a girl home twice, and didn't sleep with her. Being a girl, thats kind of hard to believe, sorry to say. You need to explain yourself to Andrea very well and she is either going to believe you or she isn't. I can see where the whole trust factor might be a little tainted, so that's something you are going to have to work on. Your guy friends need to have the balls to talk to girls on their own, you shouldn't have to do it for them because it seems to get you in trouble so quit doing it!!! good luck

[SoleMate]

Wow, tough situation. I agree with TEETER that it does strain credulity a bit. Not so much that driving a girl home = sleeping with her, but rather these red flags that I perceived:

 

* One each occasion, you called a buddy 15 minutes after he goes home with his new girl to get action????? (were you making sure he "was OK" [yeah right] or trying to establish a lame-o alibi?)

 

* The "psycho girl" seemed perfectly nice and pleasant and normal all those hours you innocently chatted with her, and then turned psycho for no reason? (Most "psycho girls" are just enraged because some jerk lied to get them into bed)

 

You say you're not a cheater...well, I can't prove you wrong 'cause I wasn't there. Not only do the facts of your story stink, but the way you tell it makes it sound worse. What exactly did you do with this girl? Did you touch her, kiss her, sit right next to her, put your arm around her, compliment her, slow dance with her and grind your pelvis against her, call her, share your feelings with her? Did you have sex in the car before you got to this driveway that you think covers your a$$? Did you perhaps suggest that she might like to taste your salami?

 

BTW, a truly faithful fella who really needs to pimp for his cowardly friends would make sure that all bystander girls know about Andrea and about how she is the only one for him. And he would make sure never to be drunk and alone with another girl at 3 am after having slipped up like this.