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Is he a player or have feelings for me?


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We are both late 30's, we have flirted for 5 + yrs. I finally hooked up w/ him in March. Since then I am very confused by his words and actions. Examples are: 1) He said his stomach knotted up the first time we were together sexually. 2) first time was not very good :), he ask are you disappointed and I said "no, i just proved a point that I am no tease, he said "is that all this is?" 3) Every time we get together he mentions "next time". 4) Last time in hotel, out of the blue he says"just don't tell me you love me or I'll have to stop" I said " that will never happen and later on he looks at me smiling and says I love u baby" I say "I only lust u" 5) I deleted his # out of my cell so no one will find out about us and he grabs my cell and puts his # back in it. 6) He looks directly and stares into my eyes, is he tryn to read my eyes or what? I like him but I keep distant so I won't get hurt. Is he playing mind games with me? or is he testing the water to see how I really feel about him? PLAYER OR IS HE SCARED HE'S GETTING FEELINGS FOR ME??:confused:

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deux ex machina
We are both late 30's, we have flirted for 5 + yrs. I finally hooked up w/ him in March. Since then I am very confused by his words and actions. Examples are: 1) He said his stomach knotted up the first time we were together sexually. 2) first time was not very good :), he ask are you disappointed and I said "no, i just proved a point that I am no tease, he said "is that all this is?" 3) Every time we get together he mentions "next time". 4) Last time in hotel, out of the blue he says"just don't tell me you love me or I'll have to stop" I said " that will never happen and later on he looks at me smiling and says I love u baby" I say "I only lust u"

 

You told him you only feel lust for him.

 

Why in a hotel?

 

5) I deleted his # out of my cell so no one will find out about us and he grabs my cell and puts his # back in it.

 

Why?

 

6) He looks directly and stares into my eyes, is he tryn to read my eyes or what? I like him but I keep distant so I won't get hurt. Is he playing mind games with me? or is he testing the water to see how I really feel about him? PLAYER OR IS HE SCARED HE'S GETTING FEELINGS FOR ME??:confused:

 

What's the day-to-day nature of your relationship? That would tell us more.

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Sounds like emotional immaturity to me, or worse, instability. My advice would be to concern yourself less with what he is or what he feels for you and more with whether this dynamic is positive for *you*. Are you getting your needs and desires met? Go with that :)

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