Is there no such thing as True Love anymore???

[chri76j]

OK I posted a different post a couple days ago telling the WHOLE story of me and my girlfriend's break up. But not many ppl responded and I have a new question so ill sum it up here.

 

I dated my girlfriend for 3 years and we shared the best love imaginable. But we faught a lot. One night after a big fight she left and was with a different guy the next day whom she dated for a while.

Then they broke up and she continued to do sexual things (but no relationships) with some other guys. All this while I always was trying to talk to her and get her to come back to me. Which didnt work obviously and it just made her feel comfortable and unworried about losing me.

 

BUt thats not wrong is it? because it seems to me that all girls do it when they get confused, and she is only just turning 17 and im 19. And after being together for 3 years I can understand that she would want to test her sexual options with other guys because she sees all the other girls doing it and wants to be a part of the seemingly "normal" thing to do while seeing if theres anyone she likes better than me.

 

But she knows damn well that shes not going to find a better guy than me. And I only say this because this girls got a LOT of problems and its just not possible for someone to treat her better or give her more of what she needs than me. There can always be something different, but not better. And she knows this.

I mean this girl has absolutely NO relationship with her family, her parents are split up, she never talks to her father which kills her, her and her mother fight and call each other names all the time, so shes basically on her own.

 

Anyways, for a while I kind of gave up on her and pretended I didnt care anymore and it braught her back to my house to spend the night a couple times and cuddle and things like that, but then shed ignore me for a couple days and be with another guy for a night or two.

 

So then i shut the door completely and told her I was sick of playing her games and it hurt me too much and that i just wanted love. And i said she couldnt come over anymore and play games bcause it was messing up my chances to find new love because the other girls would think we were back together.

So that stood for a while and we didnt really talk at all. She heard about other girls including some of her friends wanting to get with me and such. Then one night she called me and we talked for a while and she said things like she missed us and missed talking on the phone all the time. and that shes lonely and wished we would have never broken up.

 

So she knows what shes losing and shes starting to get scared. And im confused now because in my last post some people responded telling me that i should just let it go. And while some of me feels that way too, I'm still confused because I read some of the other posts and theres so much talk about "shutting that door completely and maybe she will realize what shes missing and come back"

 

So I guess my question is this: When is the right time to take her back?? What signs would tell me that shes really ready to be back with me and only me? How do I tell when she has really decided that Im the guy for her because shes been out with plenty of guys. And I know she wants to be loved and wants to love someone but she hasnt started or kept a relationship with any of the other guys except one. And that was the rebound guy who she was with right after me. That was doomed from the beginning. She even admitted to me that she was with him because she just couldnt be alone without me. So it seems like maybe she just needed some time apart from me to see whats out there. But I dont know if shes over it now and wants me back or if she just thinks she does.

 

But I know if I completely shut the door and even maybe get a new girlfriend that she will be begging to have me back. And im so in love with her that Im not strong enough to keep that door shut every time she comes running back. So it could go on forever unless I keep it shut for long enough that she wants me back more then anything. And i guess thats what im wondering about. Am I sure to be playing games with this girl forever or is there still hope for us to actually get back together and be happy again? sorry this was so long but all ur advice would help so much. thanks

[carla]

You asked so I'll tell you how I see it. You are both to young to be worried about a long term committment. You are very understanding to know that she wants to see what else there is out there. But it sounds like she is using u big time. Every time something go wrong or bad who does she go running to? You? That's because you are there to help her through it. Am I right? Once everything is all better where is she? With some other guy? Am I right again? It sounds like she doesn't need you for a bf but maybe a friend or a big brother. As for you see other girls, She's scared that if you find someone else your not going to be there when she needs you. I know it's going to be hard to do but I would try to end thing as friends and let her know that she can count on you as a friend and a friend only.

Good Luck

[dyermaker]

Is there no such thing as True Love anymore???

 

True Love is an acheivement, not a 'thing'

You don't find true love, you accomplish it.

 

Best of luck on finding someone who is willing to accomplish that with you.