msu_party_girl Posted February 6, 2004 Share Posted February 6, 2004 I need help with a recent situation involving my ex-fiance and I. My fiance' just broke up with me last week. He is 23 and I am 24. We had been dating for about 3 years, and were engaged for about a year and a half. We were supposed to get married in September of this year. He said he wasn't ready to get married. He looked at other women like we were not engaged. I told him that may be because of the problems we were having, that needed to be fixed. He felt as if looking at women that way was already cheating on me. The bottom line, though, is that he basically handed me a list of problems we were having and said there were too many to fix. We are now broken up. However, this has happened once before. Last year while I was at college. He broke up with me because of the long distance relationship we were in, and he couldn't stand not seeing me. We eventually got back together (He started seeing a girl from work right after we broke up the first time). So, I had troubles trusting him again right away because I felt like the girl was the real reason he broke up with me. I finally trusted him again, and now he is doing the same thing again. He is with another girl already. It breaks me up inside. I wonder if guys ever change? If he comes back, do you think I should give him another chance? I know this is a hard play to call considering it is different from the first break up, since we were engaged to be married. We were also living together. I just am not sure if I do get back together with him, if this whole situation will keep happening, over and over again. I can't help but wondering if there is always going to be another girl from work he is going to be interested in?? Please give me your thoughts on the situation... Link to post Share on other sites
jmargel Posted February 6, 2004 Share Posted February 6, 2004 Sounds like he doesn't know what he wants. A relationship shouldn't be based on a fear of the other leaving. Its a 50/50 thing. Him looking at other women isn't cheating. Even while married they're always be other attractive people around. Its what you do when one approches you which is the question. Do you really want to be there for him again while you get your heart broken? This could end up being a pattern, while using you as a safety-net. Him finding another chick right away is maybe his way to trying to find something within the relationship he had with you that was missing. That or he just wanted some 'fun' on the side. Either way communication is a big part of a relationship. When you don't have that things start to go wrong. If he were to come back, my only suggestion would be couple's counciling. That's the only way to figure how to get to the heart of the problem. In the mean time start going out yourself, and doing things that make you happy. Link to post Share on other sites
beautifulme Posted February 6, 2004 Share Posted February 6, 2004 I read your story and what I don;t understand is why you would want a guy back that dumped you? If he wants you back? Girl have some self -respect and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Leikela Posted February 6, 2004 Share Posted February 6, 2004 All I can say, is that at least he chooses to break up with you first and not cheat on you. Many guys would marry you and then have women off to the side. You both are still young yet and he wants to play the field some more before settling down. That's normal for a guy his age! You guys are on different paths in life. It's unfortunate, but he's not emotionally mature enough yet to settle down. Cut your losses and move on. Find a guy who is ready to settle down, if that's what you want right now. If not, then go out there like he is and date others and enjoy the single life until it's time to say "I DO" for good. Link to post Share on other sites
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