Need your piece of minds!

[Ihaveaquestion]

Hi people,

 

I adore a gal who works in my office, It stated like, I was not able to come out of a very very bad relationship, suddenly I got in touch with her and somehow I fell for her beauty and her sweetness. She is very charming, cute and super awesome in all respect to be my life partner.

 

Now the most tricky part is that I told her that I am inclined towards her and then she told me that she already has a guy in her life.But even after that we keep on going out together with her friends and we keep on spending good time with each other. lately I have realized that I would be alone again and would be in the same condition the way I used to be 8 months back so I started avoiding her by not meeting her or talking to her. She was to go for some business trip sp I thought that by the time she would come I would change my job and move out of her life rather than keeping a false hope in me.

 

But before I could have done this she contacted me asked about my where abouts and the reason for me not showing up to her, in frustration/desperation I conveyed her my feeling and asked her if she could think about marrying me. Since then she did not talk to me and did not even called me or even contacted me.

 

I also did not tried to contact her or call her for the simple reason that she might be hurt with my straight and selfish approach.

 

But I don't know why I revealed all this to her and messed it up, when I had already conveyed my feelings to her and she politely declined it. I am not finding it comfortable and do not know what to do! can anyone guide me? I have already been through this pain and going through again. but the difference is that this time it is a bit less

 

am still confused that did I made any mistake by revealing my mind to her. I simply wanted to be true to her and at the same time I wanted her to at least say something.By simply keeping herself mum she has put em into dilemma as if I did something insane.

 

She is not in the country and I feel like mad at me. One more thing is going in my mind is about her relationship status, as I have never heard her talking about her guy to any of her friend or while she was with me. It might be possible that she does not want to discuss her relationship with others but then normally gals do! May be all this I am thinking to fancy my chances but do I still hold any chance as she has not replied to my question.

 

I really think that after a long gap of 2.6 years I got someone who understood me and with whom I was really enjoying the time. I think I have messed it big time, but all this I did because that moment I thought that if I would not let her know then also I would not hold any chance of wining her heart. But now I am left with no option but to repent on what I did and wait for her answer.

 

But I really think that I should not trouble her with all my thoughts and let her come if she wants to. But this all sounds very filmy. Doesn't it? Don't know what to do, just keeping my calm and trying to divert my mind from her thoughts.Have you ever seen such miracle happen where things fall on its own place ? I doubt and feel that once unlucky always unlucky. Last time also I gave my 100% and this time also I have put my best effort forward. Sorry if I sound like an idiot