Enough is enough

[Maria4v]

This is my very first post. I am at my wits end and just looking for some non objective points of view and or advice.

 

My husband and I dated for 4 years before getting married. He than joined the USCG, in order to support me. I am type one diabetic and in need of medical insurance. He has been in the USCG for the past 6 years and loves it. I love that he is in the military, that he loves his job, and that can support his family. It's the perfect life. I will admitt he is away 6 months out of the year every year for the past 6 years, but I am ok with that.

 

Well let me flash forward. In the CG, he is also a sailer, and what do sailers do with there spare time....DRINK!

 

To present time, my husband just got discharged from the military 3 days ago. He has had a binge drinking problem since before I met him. I have told him for YEARS that he needs to get help, but he would not admit he had a problem. I am in total shock. We lost EVERYTHING!!! Our income, health insurance, life insurance, retirement plan, EVERYTHING is gone!!

Let me also tell you we just had a baby 6 months ago.

 

This is not the first time he has hurt his family because of his drinking. We went from middle class to bottom of the barrel in one day because of him. People are telling me a I need to be supportive because he is suffering. WTF?

I think enough is enough and I am done and want a divorce.

I will admitt he is a good man with a good heart, but he can't support his family and he has hurt us enough.

Am I being a bitch?

[Tayla]

Well short of a guru wondering on this site and chanting, Most advice here will be objective or subjective or rejective. Contingent which way the wind blows.

 

So with that said, it sounds like you have made decisions already. (objective)

I can say based on what you say your hubby is most likely a diseased man suffering from alcoholism ( subjective, been down that road myself)

 

Now your wondering where is the rejective part? Welp, hows this, I reject any lady who mothered a child and cares soo much with a passion about her family as your message seemed to carry that you would be called a B****.

So in the end....I must pose to you...Would you be willing to love him enough to support him back to health? You are free not to...just curious if you can step back for a few and really ask yourself if that is a road you want to go down. Divorce would sorta stop that concept entirely.

If he is in denial then you cannot do your part....and then it is time to move on. ITs your choice your decision. Luckily you have the insight and clear mind to make that choice...he is not thinking too well right now.....

[thepaintedword]

I think that your child needs a father that will support him, bottom line.

 

But at the same time it would be best if the father who is going to be there for him is his real one. Because despite whether or pr not you divorce this guy your kid is still going to have the right to get to know his real farther, and if his dad is a big alcoholic that's gonna reflect badly on him no matter what. I guess what i'm trying to say is that parenting is a two part equation, and that even if you leave this guy and keep your half of the equation in check, his father is probably just gonna get even worse and set a terrible example for your kid. If there's a chance you can help this man to at the very least be responsible for himself in a way that doesn't reflect your child negatively, that's enough.

 

but then again what do i know i've never had kids.

But i have had friends with alcoholic fathers that aren't with their mothers anymore.

[Tayla]

I think that your child needs a father

but then again what do i know i've never had kids.

But i have had friends with alcoholic fathers that aren't with their mothers anymore.

Edited...

 

On a side bar here- You can still have parental skills without having kids. You seem sensible and carry past experience, key role to have when parenting. So dont sell youself short on that