please give me advice!!

[teeny4406]

hi, my boyfreind of 6 months broke up with me last week. he was my life, the person i lived for. we talked on the phone about 5 to 6 hours a day , maybe more. i am devastated, and i ran out of tears. i still love him and i would die for him!! he said that"things got kinda old" and that he thinks he has a crush on someone else. i know he loved me, and he proved it to me so many times. i want him back so bad, and i would do ANYTHING for that to happen. please help me get him back. what should i do? how should i act? should i leave him alone for a while? he lives 20 min away, so right now the only way i can talk to him is aol or phone. please help me! any suggestions are welcome! if you have any advice, please email me at " <e-mail address removed>" as soon as you can. thank you!

 

desperate in love:(:(

[Tony T]

You signed your post "desperate in love." That is not attractive to men. They do not like people who are desperate.

 

First, I want to quickly answer your questions. As difficult as it may be, don't call him, don't IM him on AOL, don't send him Email, don't contact him in any way. You may find this extremely difficult to do because you are dying for him to see you around, but sign onto AOL using a new screen name for a while. DO NOT LET HIM SEE YOU ONLINE.

 

Talking to someone five or six hours a day can be heaven for two people who have just met and are crazy about each other but it will burn out the relationship really fast. Longevity in almost any field of human relations is dependent on leaving people wanting more. You can die on the vine from overexposure, being together and talking to each other too much.

 

A better strategy, and one that will help your relationships to last much longer, is to vary the length of phone conversations and NEVER let them go over 15 minutes. That will let him know if he wants to talk to you more, he has to ask you out. NEVER accept a date eacj time he asks. Let the guy wonder just what you're up to and let him know you have a life other than him. Be unpredictable. Young guys always like a challenge. If someone is available 24/7 for phone conversation, going out, or whatever, the spark created by uncertainty and unpredictability just goes out.

 

Now, the ONLY way you can save this is by doing what you haven't done. If you just DISAPPEAR from his life, it will kill him. He will die wondering WHY you haven't tried to get ahold of him, WHY you haven't sent him Email, WHY you aren't on AOL (for those in some countries without it, that's America Online, an Internet Service and Information Provider).

 

Once his curiosity gets the best of him, he will call you or Email you. If he calls, be cordial and ever so brief, asking him to call back because you're out the door to see a friend...tell him nothing more. Then go out the door and see a friend. If he Emails you, wait four days...and then answer him in two or three sentences of very general comments about how things have been going. Be nice but don't overdo it. Don't brag that you have been seeing other people or whatever, just keep him guessing.

 

I unconditionally guarantee that if you follow my directions, you will drive him out of his mind. But if you don't, I unconditionally guarantee this guy will be out of your life forever because he is looking for challenge and mystery in his relationships. Not knowing his age, you can count on him changing a bit once he gets 25 or so. For some men, it's over 30.

 

You said you would do anything to get him back. Well, listen up here and now. The more you DO, the more you will drive him away. DON'T DO ANYTHING. Let nature take its course.

 

I really wonder if you can pull all of this off. My gut tells me you are going to try to contact him. OK. If you do answer his mail right off, talk to him on the phone, etc., please learn your lesson well because the reason he left you is because he is just bored and tired of the predictability. That's just human nature for young people.

 

His leaving has nothing to do with you personally. He is just wanting some sizzle and you are just plain too easy!!!