EricaH329 Posted July 14, 2010 Share Posted July 14, 2010 When they contact you and you see their phone number/e-mail address/name? Yeah... that just happened to me. I haven't spoken to him in months, since the last time I told him not to contact me. I came home from work, opened my e-mail account, and saw his name. My heart dropped for a minute. Clearly, I haven't moved on as much as i'd like to. Over the last 5 months (of us being broken up), i've taken a ton of time to re-evaluate myself. I have a pretty good idea of what I want, and what I definitely don't want. Where my flaws are, what I need to continue working on, and what my qualities are. Of course, I haven't figured it all out yet, i'm not sure if that's something that anyone can fully figure out. But, I can honestly say, that i've come to a point in my life where i'm very happy being alone. I don't need anyone else in my life for me to be happy. However, with that said, all of those facts really mean nothing when it comes to emotions, how you feel about someone else. I think that may be the one thing I haven't begun working on. And although I have started the healing process, and I am much more 'over him' than I originally was... i'm beginning to think I need to pay a bit more attention to that aspect of my life. Anyway, it sucked to get an e-mail from him. I'm not going to respond, but it still stung none the less. Link to post Share on other sites
nihilanth100 Posted July 14, 2010 Share Posted July 14, 2010 I get that feeling quite a bit but im still fresh into the break up. It used to happen just thinking about her, but I know this feeling will never go away, I still get it when I see old friends/aquaintences. Seems as though you are making correct choices and heading down the right path! Link to post Share on other sites
GrayClouds Posted July 14, 2010 Share Posted July 14, 2010 So lack of tact notwithstanding, are you now agreeing he may have had a point... I am human hear me roar! Your seemingly mindless post appears to me that you're not over him. There are many ways to open the door to your soul. This is not it. You insist, day in and day out, of me to stop obsessing and to cease my nostalgia of those who came before. You endlessly impute my mindful scorning... my incessant delusion (which, by the way, is a surreal perception of your mind)... and you fail to rationalize your own perplexity. Erica... I speak these words not out of frustration or annoyance, but as a stable companion. Do not dwell on your past. Learn from your mistakes, as we all should learn from our own, and move FORWARD. Much adulation . Link to post Share on other sites
TouchedByViolet Posted July 14, 2010 Share Posted July 14, 2010 Yeah, been there. Good work making a decision to not respond. Soon enough indifference will kick back in. Link to post Share on other sites
Author EricaH329 Posted July 14, 2010 Author Share Posted July 14, 2010 I get that feeling quite a bit but im still fresh into the break up. It used to happen just thinking about her, but I know this feeling will never go away, I still get it when I see old friends/aquaintences. Seems as though you are making correct choices and heading down the right path! Yeah, been there. Good work making a decision to not respond. Soon enough indifference will kick back in. Thanks guys!! So lack of tact notwithstanding, are you now agreeing he may have had a point... No, I do not. He is speaking of an extreme case, in which does not apply to me. I do acknowledge and understand that there are still some feelings towards my ex, yet they are nothing that i'm concerned with. For the most part, i'm over him. There are still feelings (such as this) that will kick back in gear when I hear from him or see his pictures. Having said that, I do not agree with any posts that BB has made within that thread, and would like those posts to remain where they were originally posted. Much thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted July 14, 2010 Share Posted July 14, 2010 Yes I get that heart-sinking feeling as well Link to post Share on other sites
Author EricaH329 Posted July 14, 2010 Author Share Posted July 14, 2010 Yes I get that heart-sinking feeling as well How are things Sky? I've been hoping you've been doing better, I see that's not really the case Link to post Share on other sites
GrayClouds Posted July 14, 2010 Share Posted July 14, 2010 Though there does seem to be some similarity in thought... Your seemingly mindless post appears to me that you're not over him. And And although I have started the healing process, and I am much more 'over him' than I originally was... i'm beginning to think I need to pay a bit more attention to that aspect of my life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author EricaH329 Posted July 14, 2010 Author Share Posted July 14, 2010 Though there does seem to be some similarity in thought... Given the intention behind his post, I absolutely cannot agree with it. What I can agree with, is (like i've mentioned earlier) that I do still have feelings for my ex. But, I do acknowledge them and understand that they are there. Link to post Share on other sites
cookiecrumbles Posted July 14, 2010 Share Posted July 14, 2010 You would be amazed how much power you can have over your mind if you really really really want something! If you are happy being alone and want to move on, do everything to make it that way! Block their email, block their phone number, block everything! I know everyone feels that they couldnt dream of doing these things but it shows you dont truly wont to let them go! However you can just sit there whether you like it or not and press ignore, even if your feelings are yelling and fighting with you just press block and that in its self will give you some power and make yourself feel better and your on your way to being happier already. Link to post Share on other sites
Star Gazer Posted July 14, 2010 Share Posted July 14, 2010 Have you dated at all since the breakup? Link to post Share on other sites
Author EricaH329 Posted July 14, 2010 Author Share Posted July 14, 2010 Have you dated at all since the breakup? I have. I dated one guy recently which didn't last long. Link to post Share on other sites
smk Posted July 14, 2010 Share Posted July 14, 2010 When they contact you and you see their phone number/e-mail address/name? Every single day since the break up (we broke up just a over a month ago) - There are so many memories everywhere I look - at first we worked at the same place together (now I cant even make a coffee at work because we used to do that together) and now she works for a company that I co-own. Over the last 5 months (of us being broken up), i've taken a ton of time to re-evaluate myself. I have a pretty good idea of what I want, and what I definitely don't want. Where my flaws are, what I need to continue working on, and what my qualities are. Of course, I haven't figured it all out yet, i'm not sure if that's something that anyone can fully figure out. But, I can honestly say, that i've come to a point in my life where i'm very happy being alone. I don't need anyone else in my life for me to be happy. I have tried to do that - and I have learnt a lot about myself, that I depended on someone else to give me happiness - that I have a fear of abandonment that stems from my childhood, that even though I chose to never fall in love with someone , sometimes you just do.... I am still figuring things out about what I want and what I dont want, but most morning I just wake up thinking to myself whats the point of even getting up and getting on with my life, when the one person who truly made me happy is no longer in my life... However, with that said, all of those facts really mean nothing when it comes to emotions, how you feel about someone else. I think that may be the one thing I haven't begun working on. And although I have started the healing process, and I am much more 'over him' than I originally was... i'm beginning to think I need to pay a bit more attention to that aspect of my life. I wish I could reach that stage where I am 'over her' but at the moment I am at that place where some moments I think I am fine, then all it takes is the slightest of memories to take me back to that dark gloomy pit. Granted I am over the anger phase at least for now, but for the moment I cant say how long that will last - i sometimes think that I have accepted it, but I know I still have not. Everytime I see her name blink up on my phone I am the fool because I pick up, and continue talking, hoping that she will realise. I cant even do NC.... Link to post Share on other sites
GrayClouds Posted July 14, 2010 Share Posted July 14, 2010 (edited) Given the intention behind his post, I absolutely cannot agree with it. What I can agree with, is (like i've mentioned earlier) that I do still have feelings for my ex. But, I do acknowledge them and understand that they are there. Well I guess I missed the finer detail of intents, but I think you have made an important step with not only acknowledge the feelings but the fact that you have been ignoring the extend of those feelings by stating: And although I have started the healing process, and I am much more 'over him' than I originally was... i'm beginning to think I need to pay a bit more attention to that aspect of my life.So congrats. What actions are you going to take to help yourself? Edited July 14, 2010 by GrayClouds Link to post Share on other sites
Username37 Posted July 15, 2010 Share Posted July 15, 2010 I get a heart sinking feeling when someone mentions her name. I was in a Summer Class, one of my friends talked about her with a teacher and I overheard and I felt like crap. She also contacted me twice during my NC. I felt like crap too. So yeah, I get heart sunk. Link to post Share on other sites
mikezombie777 Posted July 16, 2010 Share Posted July 16, 2010 Yeah the same thing is happening to me...Although we only broke up last week. If I hear the name "Erin" or I happen to come across her myspace & see pics of her etc I get really depressed & angry. Just saying her name out loud is bad enough. If I'm walking past certain places I went to with her, my heart drops. It's totally fudged. I've been through breakups before but this is something different. I've been thinking about her non-stop since we broke up. All the little memories, the sound of her voice, her smell etc are all in my head constantly. If it weren't for my cigarettes I think I would have gone truly insane by now. I just have that nagging feeling all the time that things weren't supposed to be like this, ya know? Link to post Share on other sites
Author EricaH329 Posted July 16, 2010 Author Share Posted July 16, 2010 Well I guess I missed the finer detail of intents, but I think you have made an important step with not only acknowledge the feelings but the fact that you have been ignoring the extend of those feelings by stating: So congrats. What actions are you going to take to help yourself? I've thought about this, and i've come to the conclusion that i'm not going to do anything. My feelings for him no longer run my life. Sure, when I get an e-mail from him or see a picture of him it stings for a moment, but the sting has lessened over time. The more I do nothing about the feelings that are still lingering, the more I move forward. If that makes any sense. This is the first time (after we've broken up) that i've decided to look ahead, and no longer behind. This is what works best for me, and I plan to continue on doing that. Looking forward. Paying attention to what my future holds. Don't get me wrong, i've learned a great deal from the relationship i've had with him, and I plan on taking those lessons and implementing them in future situations. I just have that nagging feeling all the time that things weren't supposed to be like this, ya know? Is this break up fresh? It was the same way with me the first couple of times that him and I broke up. The first time was the worst, though. I believe it's because you are still connected to that person, to the relationship. It'll fade away over time. After you've really taken some time to think about why the both of you aren't right for eachother, you'll realize that it is supposed to be like that. It just takes time. Link to post Share on other sites
mikezombie777 Posted July 16, 2010 Share Posted July 16, 2010 I've thought about this, and i've come to the conclusion that i'm not going to do anything. My feelings for him no longer run my life. Sure, when I get an e-mail from him or see a picture of him it stings for a moment, but the sting has lessened over time. The more I do nothing about the feelings that are still lingering, the more I move forward. If that makes any sense. This is the first time (after we've broken up) that i've decided to look ahead, and no longer behind. This is what works best for me, and I plan to continue on doing that. Looking forward. Paying attention to what my future holds. Don't get me wrong, i've learned a great deal from the relationship i've had with him, and I plan on taking those lessons and implementing them in future situations. Is this break up fresh? It was the same way with me the first couple of times that him and I broke up. The first time was the worst, though. I believe it's because you are still connected to that person, to the relationship. It'll fade away over time. After you've really taken some time to think about why the both of you aren't right for eachother, you'll realize that it is supposed to be like that. It just takes time. Yeah it was this time last week. I'm starting to get the feeling she never had the honesty or integrity to tell me how she truly felt, which actually makes me feel better due to the fact I know there is NO chance to fix this and thus I can move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Curt Posted July 16, 2010 Moderators Share Posted July 16, 2010 I just have that nagging feeling all the time that things weren't supposed to be like this, ya know? Interesting how everyone feels this. Link to post Share on other sites
mickleb Posted July 16, 2010 Share Posted July 16, 2010 (edited) I've thought about this, and i've come to the conclusion that i'm not going to do anything. Except post about him endlessly. x Edited July 16, 2010 by mickleb Link to post Share on other sites
Author EricaH329 Posted July 17, 2010 Author Share Posted July 17, 2010 Except post about him endlessly. x Yes, I am posting about him endlessly. Oh, how I wish he was back in my life I use LS as a place to vent. I've posted one thread per month about him since the break up. Considering I was going to marry him, and he was my first true love, I think one thread a month isn't bad at all Soon, it'll be zero threads. Link to post Share on other sites
mickleb Posted July 17, 2010 Share Posted July 17, 2010 Yes, I am posting about him endlessly. Oh, how I wish he was back in my life I use LS as a place to vent. I've posted one thread per month about him since the break up. Considering I was going to marry him, and he was my first true love, I think one thread a month isn't bad at all Soon, it'll be zero threads. I guess actions speak louder than words. x Link to post Share on other sites
Meaplus3 Posted July 17, 2010 Share Posted July 17, 2010 Yes. I've had that feeling in the past. I think it's only natural.. due to the fact that the person once had a place in your life. I think it takes time time to learn how to change our reactions to thing's. Try not to let it get to ya. My best to you. Mea:) Link to post Share on other sites
Odyssey Posted July 18, 2010 Share Posted July 18, 2010 Hey Erica, sounds pretty normal to me. Nice to get it off ya chest though, right? Link to post Share on other sites
mickleb Posted July 18, 2010 Share Posted July 18, 2010 Hey Erica, sounds pretty normal to me. Which is exactly why I commented in the way that I did. x Link to post Share on other sites
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