Ok no harsh judgements.. think I just cheated.. did I???

[samsungxoxo]

I spoke about this with two female friends at work and both told me it was not worth getting worked on and not to mentioned a single word about it to my long distance b/f.

 

I'm going to briefly state what happened on Saturday (well it was a bit more than 2 am). It was a whole day of sleep over at this co-worker's house. Approximately 25-30 people arrived and so did my guy friend (who I secretly have a crush on from months ago since February). Let's call me P.

 

Anyways to make this story short, both me and P were drunk. We headed towards the balcony and started dancing (the type of dance where it involves some touching and rubbing.. dirty dance I would call it). We started talking and afterwards sat on a bench. I was sitting on his lap and there was some touching (caressing) but it never got to kissing nor further.

 

There were several times a kissing would have probably taken place if he were to initiate it but he didn't. This is what I'm starting to question... what if he had kiss me (our faces were close when dancing). Part of me says I would have told him ''I can't.. I got a boyfriend'' but another part says what if my inhibitions would have decrease a bit more. At one time I recalled telling him ''What would it have been if I would have met you instead of my boyfriend''? In the end, I would have back off.

 

Nevertheless I do want to spend my life with my boyfriend and yes do love him still (do not contradict this statement). Please no harsh comment... if so don't post trash on my thread.

Edited July 14, 2010 by samsungxoxo

[jnj express]

Just tell me your thinking, as to why you thought it was allright to bump and grind, and sit on a strangers lap----You stated you were thinking what---if's----How serious is your relationship with your BF

 

Lets go another what if---what if this exact same scenario---happened, and it was your BF in the scene----what would your reaction be????

 

If you love someone---you don't do what you did, and you don't have the thoughts you had

 

By the way where was your BF---Do you party often w/out your BF

 

Sounds to me like you have a lot of soul-searching to do, and need to decide do you wanna be committed, or single?????

[Hop_prophet]

Seems like you have a boundry problem to me. Why would you go to a party and get drunk with someone you have a crush on when you are in a relationship? You know that is asking for trouble. Why do you even have a crush on someone else when you state you are in love with your boyfriend? As for the cheating, maybe you should tell your boyfriend and let him decide. Who knows how far this would have gone if the guy was more aggresive? I doubt you would have put up much resistance.

[LSNoob]

Sorry but this website is for everyone. It's public forum for everyone to share their opinions and thoughts. Now that you are in the court, sit down and let the judges judge your actions.

 

I spoke about this with two female friends at work and both told me it was not worth getting worked on and not to mentioned a single word about it to my long distance b/f.

 

Wow, what classy friends you got there.

 

(who I secretly have a crush on from months ago since February)

 

Wow, you been cheating on your bf since Feb???

 

both me and P were drunk.

 

Lame excuse to justify your weakness.

 

We headed towards the balcony and started dancing (the type of dance where it involves some touching and rubbing.. dirty dance I would call it). We started talking and afterwards sat on a bench. I was sitting on his lap and there was some touching (caressing) but it never got to kissing nor further.

 

Really?? Who cares about kissing? You done enough to say " I had sex with P".

 

There were several times a kissing would have probably taken place if he were to initiate it but he didn't.

 

Wow, that's unbelievable. Why the disrespect to your bf? What he done to you that he deserves all this? I don't understand cheaters. Why? why? why? I just want to know why they go screw behind their partner's back?

 

Part of me says I would have told him ''I can't.. I got a boyfriend''

 

You can fool yourself, but you ain't fooling me, fool. ( MR.T voice)

 

Nevertheless I do want to spend my life with my boyfriend and yes do love him still

 

Really? You love your boyfriend? Then why you outside rubbing some dude's penis and testicles and letting him rub on your clitoris? You love your boyfriend? Then please tell me, what is this?

 

At one time I recalled telling him ''What would it have been if I would have met you instead of my boyfriend''?

 

How dare you even say such thing, or even just think about such a thing. Huh? Tell me, is your boyfriend a tool? Huh? C'mon please tell me, what do you think of your bf? Why you treating him like crap? Did you actually say that? That's so disrespectful. Do you know how to respect people? Do you even respect your bf? I just don't understand this. Mr.P knows right now that your bf is 2nd best. He knows what a loser and a fool your bf is. He can walk up to your bf and say "I banged your girl and shes chasing after my junk".

 

The outcome? :

Your bf deserves to know what happened. Its not just YOUR relationship, its your bf's relationship as well. He have the right to know. After that leave him because he deserves to be number one, not number two. Not fair to treat any person that love you and care for you like that. So leave him, let him be with someone who can be true to him, love him, respect him and place him first above the rest of guys out there.

 

Aren't you the one who started a thread about " revenge cheating ", and you said something like " I would never cheat, only revenge cheating " and I think Dex or someone else said something like " if you cheat for revenge then you're a cheater and that's just an excuse for you ". Well I guess they were damn right about this one. Because you been cheating for 5 months already and didn't tell us.

 

From you previous posts, I really respected you a lot. I thought you are so much better than this I thought you are the strong type of woman not the weak one who cant resist sexual temptations. I thought you are independent woman, not a slave men genitals and your hormones. I just never thought that you are the weak and easy type of woman.

 

I lost so much respect for you, I'm sorry to tell you that. You are no better than some of the members here. Hope that poor bf of yours finds someone better one day. Hope one day you become a respectful strong woman. Good luck.

[Citizen Erased]

I get it. You're lonely, your boyfriend is away from you and that sucks. But doing something like that is so inappropriate, and yes I'd count it as cheating. You don't dnce with another person like that, or claim affection from them in such a way, if you're faithful to your bf. You shouldn't even be putting yourself in that situation.

 

You need a crazy amount of trust for a LDR to work and you have just proven you're untrustworthy in your relationship. IMO you need to inform your boyfriend and work on it. If your needs aren't being met, you need to question why you're doing a LDR to begin with.

[JustJoe]

Samsung, it will only be cheating if you keep it from your BF. Anything that you do with an OP that you wouldn't want your BF knowing about, is cheating. BTW , I, like JNJ, question your love for and commitment to your BF. If you truly loved and respected your BF, you would never have done this nor had those thoughts. The main question is do you love him and respect him enough to tell him the truth?

[Leia]

Wasn't there anywhere else you could have sat except on his lap?!

[SpanksTheMonkey]

I spoke about this with two female friends at work and both told me it was not worth getting worked on and not to mentioned a single word about it to my long distance b/f.

 

I'm going to briefly state what happened on Saturday (well it was a bit more than 2 am). It was a whole day of sleep over at this co-worker's house. Approximately 25-30 people arrived and so did my guy friend (who I secretly have a crush on from months ago since February). Let's call me P.

 

Anyways to make this story short, both me and P were drunk. We headed towards the balcony and started dancing (the type of dance where it involves some touching and rubbing.. dirty dance I would call it). We started talking and afterwards sat on a bench. I was sitting on his lap and there was some touching (caressing) but it never got to kissing nor further.

 

There were several times a kissing would have probably taken place if he were to initiate it but he didn't. This is what I'm starting to question... what if he had kiss me (our faces were close when dancing). Part of me says I would have told him ''I can't.. I got a boyfriend'' but another part says what if my inhibitions would have decrease a bit more. At one time I recalled telling him ''What would it have been if I would have met you instead of my boyfriend''? In the end, I would have back off.

 

Nevertheless I do want to spend my life with my boyfriend and yes do love him still (do not contradict this statement). Please no harsh comment... if so don't post trash on my thread.

 

Its not my place nor anyone else here to judge you samsung I think you will do that to yourself just fine anyways. You def crossed a line tho yes it was cheating imo and you need to confess to your current bf then work thu it from there..

[Citizen Erased]

Wasn't there anywhere else you could have sat except on his lap?!

No kidding. I'd deal out a few arse kickings if I found some chick sitting on my dear bf's lap.

[JustJoe]

Yep, If my GF sat on another man's lap, really bad things would happen , really quickly.

[JustJoe]

Wasn't there anywhere else you could have sat except on his lap?!

Leia, this is absolutely right. Could I walk you home from school?

[TaraMaiden]

Ok no harsh judgements.. think I just cheated.. did I???

 

Yes, you did.

[CrayonAngel]

Jeeze people.

 

So when a man goes to a strip club and gets a naked girl to rub her body all over his and put her hands and mouth in places they shouldn't go that's cheating right?

 

samsung, you need to talk to your BF about this, and steer clear of situations where this behavior would be happening. You shouldn't be lusting over another man and if you are then there are things about yourself that you need to take care of.

[bayouboi]

Nevertheless I do want to spend my life with my boyfriend and yes do love him still (do not contradict this statement). Please no harsh comment... if so don't post trash on my thread.

 

lol. You don't get to choose how we respond to your thread. Your dictations of how you wanted us to respond basically suggest that you want us to soothe you of your guilt. You're feeling guilty because you cheated on your boyfriend. Do him a favor & break up with him, he deserves someone who loves him & won't disrespect him.

[samsungxoxo]

Now that you are in the court, sit down and let the judges judge your actions.

It's not a court. It's a forum and I'm the narrator.

Wow, what classy friends you got there.

I don't think so. I think it's called common sense. Who would actually go on confessing now in 2010? Very few and I'm not one of them. I would rather bury this with me than place him with questions or a burden. For sure, if I tell him (if we were to work this out) he won't trust me again if it comes to drinking and question me around. I don't want that so no I'm not telling.

Wow, you been cheating on your bf since Feb???

No I said I had a crush on him.

Lame excuse to justify your weakness.

No I'm just stating what happened. The we were both drunk statement is true. This is part of what happened in the story.

Really?? Who cares about kissing? You done enough to say " I had sex with P".

Excuse me but did you correctly read the story. No where did I say we did it. I stated there was some heavy touching and caressing along with dirty dancing (where there were occasions it could have been close to kissing but didn't happened). Lastly I did not touch his privates, it was his chest I rubbed. There was no banging. You got to quit assuming every single indiscretion involves banging.

Really? You love your boyfriend? Then why you outside rubbing some dude's penis and testicles and letting him rub on your clitoris? You love your boyfriend? Then please tell me, what is this?

Once again stop assuming things in the story that aren't there. No I did not rub his penis nor privates.... it was his chest and me laying on his shoulder.

The outcome? :

Your bf deserves to know what happened. Its not just YOUR relationship, its your bf's relationship as well. He have the right to know. After that leave him because he deserves to be number one, not number two. Not fair to treat any person that love you and care for you like that. So leave him, let him be with someone who can be true to him, love him, respect him and place him first above the rest of guys out there.

And this is coming from who.. one who doesn't even have a girlfriend? If I recalled clearly on a poster you stated how you still had no girlfriend because you're not ready to commit. And no I'm not mentioning a word about this. Even my mother told me not to say anything about it.

[samsungxoxo]

lol. You don't get to choose how we respond to your thread. Your dictations of how you wanted us to respond basically suggest that you want us to soothe you of your guilt. You're feeling guilty because you cheated on your boyfriend. Do him a favor & break up with him, he deserves someone who loves him & won't disrespect him.

Typical response from a pessimist.

[samsungxoxo]

Lets go another what if---what if this exact same scenario---happened, and it was your BF in the scene----what would your reaction be????

I would be very upset about it. Though it might not be cheating, it would still anger me. Needless to say if he had done this, I would not ever want to hear about it.

By the way where was your BF---Do you party often w/out your BF

It's a long distance relationship and we're in different countries.

Sounds to me like you have a lot of soul-searching to do, and need to decide do you wanna be committed, or single?????

I will use better judgment next time and simple not over do it with the drinks when partying. I will not tell him what happened but will continue being a good girlfriend and bury this in the drawer.

[JustJoe]

Samsung, if you don't have the integrity to tell your"bf". Then everything you have said about loving and respecting him is a lie also. You have to decide if you really want an honest , good relationship, or a sneaking, sordid one. Are you an honest woman? Do you TRULY love and respect your man? Tell him the truth. If not, continue to cheat, lie, and evade. In the end, you will be the one who will be sorry, because from now on, your relationship will be false. BTW, I'm sure that you already know this. So go do the right thing. I wish you luck.

[Leia]

I will use better judgment next time and simple not over do it with the drinks when partying. I will not tell him what happened but will continue being a good girlfriend and bury this in the drawer.

 

And how are you being a good girlfriend by not telling him? It won't be easily buried. If you don't feel guilty at all, clearly that says you don't have strong feelings for your boyfriend.

[samsungxoxo]

And how are you being a good girlfriend by not telling him? It won't be easily buried. If you don't feel guilty at all, clearly that says you don't have strong feelings for your boyfriend.

By doing the followings:

1) Have better judgment when drinking in a party

2) Don't get too close to P if he's drunk (stay away from him in that instance)

3) Drink at a much slower pace (I'm a slow drinker but the mixtures were a bit strong)

4) Tell my boyfriend he's #1 when we're talking

5) Consume with guilt within me (in other words punish myself)

6) Continue being the same girlfriend he met years ago.. he met me as a good-two shoes naivee virgin woman (was 19 then... now I'm 23)

 

Nothing real good will come out in telling.

[bayouboi]

By doing the followings:

1) Have better judgment when drinking in a party

2) Don't get too close to P if he's drunk (stay away from him in that instance)

3) Drink at a much slower pace (I'm a slow drinker but the mixtures were a bit strong)

4) Tell my boyfriend he's #1 when we're talking

5) Consume with guilt within me (in other words punish myself)

6) Continue being the same girlfriend he met years ago.. he met me as a good-two shoes naivee virgin woman (was 19 then... now I'm 23)

 

Nothing real good will come out in telling.

 

Sounds healthy! Just kidding. I feel sorry for your boyfriend.

[bayouboi]

Oh and as a good thread derailer, good lord is Leia smokin' hot! o_O

[Leia]

By doing the followings:

1) Have better judgment when drinking in a party

2) Don't get too close to P if he's drunk (stay away from him in that instance)

3) Drink at a much slower pace (I'm a slow drinker but the mixtures were a bit strong)

4) Tell my boyfriend he's #1 when we're talking

5) Consume with guilt within me (in other words punish myself)

6) Continue being the same girlfriend he met years ago.. he met me as a good-two shoes naivee virgin woman (was 19 then... now I'm 23)

 

Nothing real good will come out in telling.

 

Some of the above sounds like you're trying to tell yourself how good you are or to convince yourself that you are a good girlfriend.

 

Nothing good will come out in telling?! No kidding. It's either he'll break up with you or he won't trust you 100% if you guys continue but hey, who can blame him? You did cheat.

[Leia]

Oh and as a good thread derailer, good lord is Leia smokin' hot! o_O

 

O/T ~ Thanks, bayouboi.

[JustJoe]

"Nothing good will come from telling"? How about genuine love, respect, honesty, and concern for your BF's well-being. Aren't those good things? With all respect, Samsung, I'm sure glad my Gf isn't like you.