Ok no harsh judgements.. think I just cheated.. did I???

[carhill]

OP, I would surmise the women, twice your age, who have done similar with me while they are/were married, would never admit that it, whether done once or repeatedly, was 'cheating', especially to their husbands. It's called 'denial'. Boundaries re-established, sobriety regained, it never happened. Penis never met vagina, so it's all good and proper. God ordained it so.

 

Up to you how you want to handle things...... perhaps use this as a learning experience to handle things differently, IDK. Hope it works out

 

BTW, I did tell and will hopefully get that nice court stamp on my divorce judgment soon. So, you can see that there are advantages to denial. Different paths for everyone.

[samsungxoxo]

Stop replying to the people who are clearly just trying to hurt your feelings and pay attention to the people who really want to help you.

 

Look, I've done way worse than what you have just done.

 

You need to put the effort into being honest with your BF and yourself in regards to why you did this.

Yes you are right.. in the end it's strangers online I'll never even see face-to-face so there is no point getting worked on but if I haven't offended anyone then the same should be expected. I don't go along downplaying statements and mocking them but neither should they. I'm a fighter in the sense that I will not keep silent if someone is clearly insulting me and my story.

There are ways to tell someone stupid without actually saying the word... and the person won't even noticed it.

Obviously I did felt guilt else why would I be sharing this?

 

As for the ''How about not partying at all'' statement I find that harsh. Just because I did something reckless doesn't mean I'll never party again. By the way the next one will be possibly towards the ending of this month at the same place but I'll have better judgment this time and definitely not repeat this again. I believe in myself.. I can handle it...

[that girl]

Jeeze people.

 

So when a man goes to a strip club and gets a naked girl to rub her body all over his and put her hands and mouth in places they shouldn't go that's cheating right?

.

 

This is exactly what I thought of when I was reading the OP. The reason I'm not okay with strip clubs is because I think it is like grinding with someone else. It is a form of cheating.

 

But that is where I draw the line and I know someone people draw it differently, so I'm not sure the OP has cheated. Sounds like it, but it depends on where they draw the line.

 

OP- Unless you have had a talk with your boyfriend that makes you think this is okay (and I doubt you have) you should tell him.

[LSNoob]

Please sam, I never judged you. I judged your actions. So don't ever ever ever again judge me or say that I might end up cheating in 3-4 years time. You don't know me and I don't know you. I was in a relationship in HS, never cheated on her and my missus never cheated on me ( thank god she wasn't like you ) and when we both had to go diff countries we ended it on good terms like mature decent people. I was always loyal and faithful to her, so you don't have the right to come out accusing me of cheating or assuming that I will cheat. So please don't step out of line and start assuming what I will be doing in the near future. Just lets leave it at where we at. Judging on peoples actions ( after all that's in our nature, to protect us ). Thank you.

 

Just a reminder again that I'm judging YOUR actions. I never came out calling you names before or any thing like that. There are consequences behind your decisions, and remember you made your own bed, not me. You cheated on your boyfriend, why you coming out crying like you been attacked and been treated harshly? Grow up, and take responsibility of your actions, will ya?

 

For the mother's advice, well first let me apologize to your mother, you happy now? But I still can't imagine a mother giving a bad advice to her own daughter. Why would a mother tell her daughter to deceive, lie, and betray her loved ones?

 

And for the attractiveness. There is difference from being attracted to someone and finding someone attractive. Since you are new to relationships let me tell you that that only person you should be attracted to is your SO, not some drunk guys at the bar. You came out and said you had a crush on a guy ( you are attracted to him ) that's cheating. And your bf have the right to know if his gf cheated on him or not. He have the right if he wants to continue or not. You want to continue in the relationship but he prob doesn't want to. You have to ask him and see if he wants to continue or not, its not up to you anymore, it's up to your bf.

 

Really so I'm suppose to be a puritanical old-fashioned woman who never finds a man attractive??

 

"old-fashioned"? It's called decent women. And you didn't find a guy attractive, you had a crush on him. Don't change your words please. Thank you.

 

I got eyes too don't you know

 

Yep, I know you got eyes, sorry but I assumed you had morals, dignity, self-respect and a brain too.

 

and that no one can't help

 

Excuse me, please don't generalize. What does this mean? No one can't help what? Keep it in their pants? Please again don't generalize because yes I CAN control my self. Thank you.

 

and by the way he does have a girlfriend.

 

You should be ashamed, only reason he turned you down because he have a gf. He valued his gf more than you valued your bf. What a shame.

 

I too was like that at some point in my younger years... all judgmental like you and too strict... till I trip.

 

A bigger pardon? " till I trip ". Are you trying to say that cheating is a mistake?

 

At ages 18-19 did I ever thought about what would happen during the next 3-5 years?? No...

 

I don't know what will happen in 3-5 years actually. But tell you what, I do know that I will never cheat. ( It will be hard for you to believe when you read this sentence, but please remember you are a cheater, of course it seems impossible for you ).

 

I was an innocent house girl at one point (I didn't even like wine the first time I drank it). Did I ever thought things would change? No

 

First, there's nothing wrong with wine. Faithful people love wine too. It's good for your health if you drink the right amount.

 

Second, what you mean " Did I ever thought things would change? ". You never changed sam. You really never ever changed. Cheaters are born that way, it's not something you develop into. You knew you were a cheater, but you kept denying it and lying to your self ( like how you denying and lying to yourself now ). Like I said previously, in your previous thread about the "revenge cheating" people told you if you think like that then you are a cheater. I guess they were spot on right on this one.

 

Obviously I did felt guilt else why would I be sharing this?

 

Please, stop trying to come out of it as if you are a little angel. You came here hoping that people will agree with you and give you same advice as those 2 friends and your mom.

 

I would get very upset but would forget about it the next day or two days.

 

Why you lying? I don't get it.

 

Maybe not but it would upset me and definitely wouldn't want him partying with that same woman...

 

You say you don't want him to party with same woman, but yet you say you will go out partying with him again and just make sure it won't happen. Why do you have to be treated differently than you bf? How come he gets grounded and not party with her, but you should be trusted and go party with other guy?

 

As for the ''How about not partying at all'' statement I find that harsh.

 

Harsh? sam are you serious? ( oh god that remind me of that video game "serious sam" :laugh:, ok back to the topic ). Why don't you for once in your life just look at your bf and think about harsh treatments. Just think about him not you, please don't be so selfish. Stop thinking about yourself for once in your life, for the love of God, love of Jesus, love of all prophets and all religions and in what ever you believe in, just STOP thinking about your self. PLEASE STOP.

 

Please this if for your bf's benefits, he needs to know that his missus is not the decent naive good girl he thinks she is. He needs to know her true colors and who she really is. Not fair playing with human's lives like this. Really unfair. How would you feel if your bf is having crush on a girl that he goes out partying with. They rub and grind on each other and then he doubt his love to you. Sam wake up, you doubted your love to your bf and you said it in your post and you cant take that back. You can keep reading your original post to help you realize what your doing.

 

Lastly, I wanna make somethings for you crystal clear.

Maybe not but I wouldn't want to know about it. If he insisted on telling me then he would have to either stop talking to the woman or go into a party with her again.

 

Please remember, girls don't look at things same as guys do. Remember you SO is a boy and you are a girl, so don't think your bf will react in the same manner as you. Things like these prob doesn't bother girls as much as it bothers guys. At end of day if the girl still with her bf, and he still loves her and all that then she prob wouldn't mind the silly drunk dancing. ( Hence, women more forgivable ). For guys its different. Guys like to compete ( its in their nature) so when he finds out that he is nothing but a sloppy second it's safe to say he will be very upset. He doesn't wanna hear you telling him hes number one, he needs you to prove it in actions because actions speaks louder than words. And your actions proved that he is number two. Ya you love your bf, but you don't love him to the exclusion of others. To be in an exclusive committed relationship you have to love your partner to that level. Please do the right thing. He deserves better. He should be someone else's number one. Unfair you keeping him as a hostage for your own comfort. Unfair that you are his number one while hes a sloppy 2nd. That is unfair sam, you know it.

 

Yes you are a cheater, but that doesn't mean you can't change.

[Eeyore79]

In my book, what you did would be classed as cheating. I would expect your bf to be very upset about it, and I guess that's why you're not telling him, so you obviously realise it was the wrong thing to do. Not telling him is kind of dishonest though - sure, it saves your ass and avoids him dumping you for cheating, but it's still dishonest. The decent thing to do would be to tell him and live with the consequences of your own actions; there's obviously some issue in your relationship that made you behave like this and you need to sort it out.

 

If you don't tell him and simply vow never to do it again, that's better than nothing I guess, but ideally you should have the decency to be honest with him. If you're afraid of losing him if you confess your actions, surely that tells you what you did is extremely wrong? But I guess if you're dishonest enough to cheat, and then dishonest enough not to tell your bf you cheated, then nobody is going to be able to guilt you into doing the right thing and being honest now. Just don't do it again...

[Kamille]

Okay, now that everyone has been hard on you for your actions, how about this...

 

Is there anything going on in your relationship, in how you both handle the distance, or in how you communicate, which might explain how you ended up in this scenario?

 

You say you never want to do it again. So please take the time to figure out what underlying reasons made you vulnerable to crossing the lines with another man.

[SpanksTheMonkey]

Okay, now that everyone has been hard on you for your actions, how about this...

 

Is there anything going on in your relationship, in how you both handle the distance, or in how you communicate, which might explain how you ended up in this scenario?

 

You say you never want to do it again. So please take the time to figure out what underlying reasons made you vulnerable to crossing the lines with another man.

 

Sadly I don't think shes interested in figuring it all out at the moment more like just writing it off on the drinking and swearing it wont happen again. From her last post she also seams intent on putting herself back into the same situation when the next one of these little shindigs goes down.

 

So all we can do is wait for the next thread that goes " Help I cheated again" or some variation there of. Im not trying to be mean to you samsung its just hard for me to think of your bf in all of this like other posters im sure.

[jnj express]

Hey SS----I don't know how old you are---but you are not thinking very level headed.

 

WHY would you go back to the very same place, you got into trouble before---the same people that helped you lose your control will be there again, and you will drink again. What are you gonna do---sit in a corner and not talk to anyone----guys are gonna hit on you---that's what they do at parties.

 

Soldiers' spouses, are in the same situation as you----some do cheat----everyone has their reasons for what they do, and how they try to justify---but a whole lot of them, do not cheat, and they do not party----they do go to functions, which are meant to get them out of the house---they go out with their friends, and they have fun----THEY DO NOT GO TO MEAT MARKETS, AND THEY DO NOT PUT THEMSELVES AT RISK

 

Your saying, that you are going back to that same place to party----what is that---are you boasting---hey i'm a big girl. I can do what I want????

 

Of course you can, you and only you are responsible for your actions, and you can do anything you damn well please----BUT THEN DON'T TALK OUT OF THE OTHER SIDE OF YOUR MOUTH, AND TELL US YOU ARE IN A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP.----cuz by going to your meat market parties, you are not ACTING like a woman in a committed relationship.

 

If your BF where with you would you be going to these parties------Why don't you just pretend he is here, with you and act accordingly.

[SpanksTheMonkey]

Hey SS----I don't know how old you are---but you are not thinking very level headed.

 

WHY would you go back to the very same place, you got into trouble before---the same people that helped you lose your control will be there again, and you will drink again. What are you gonna do---sit in a corner and not talk to anyone----guys are gonna hit on you---that's what they do at parties.

 

Soldiers' spouses, are in the same situation as you----some do cheat----everyone has their reasons for what they do, and how they try to justify---but a whole lot of them, do not cheat, and they do not party----they do go to functions, which are meant to get them out of the house---they go out with their friends, and they have fun----THEY DO NOT GO TO MEAT MARKETS, AND THEY DO NOT PUT THEMSELVES AT RISK

 

Your saying, that you are going back to that same place to party----what is that---are you boasting---hey i'm a big girl. I can do what I want????

 

Of course you can, you and only you are responsible for your actions, and you can do anything you damn well please----BUT THEN DON'T TALK OUT OF THE OTHER SIDE OF YOUR MOUTH, AND TELL US YOU ARE IN A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP.----cuz by going to your meat market parties, you are not ACTING like a woman in a committed relationship.

 

If your BF where with you would you be going to these parties------Why don't you just pretend he is here, with you and act accordingly.

 

I don't think the blame lays solely on the parties jnj truly committed people do go to party's solo and don't cheat. That said I also think that there are different kinds of party's

 

There are mature adult gatherings and then there are fratish style party's were the ones who attend are usually 20 somethings many looking for bfs gfs or hookups witch ever may come 1st.

 

In the later yeah I agree its asking for trouble after all if your in a relationship then perhaps hanging out alone with single people in a party hard atmosphere isent the best choice that to me shows your some how unhappy in said relationship.

 

But then again to say that is just like sam blaming the cheating on the "drinking" its some what of a excuse but the fact shes planing on going back into such a situation isent good IMO however I think she will do as she likes anyways so best of luck to her...

Edited July 15, 2010 by SpanksTheMonkey

[LSNoob]

Samsung, as you requested, I will not be harsh about the so-called "cheating" incident, unlike some others who have already responded to you.

 

Indeed, I think the least of your boyfriend's problems is worrying about this so-called "cheating" incident you speak of.

 

What he should really be worried about is, if he ends up marrying you, will you kill him for the insurance money?

 

 

HAhahahahahahahaha :lmao: omg you got me there.

 

 

@ Samsung:

 

Listen, maybe I was a bit harsh in my initial responses but I was just trying to help. You need to wake up and see things from different angle. You prob just want continue you relationship because hes you first or something. I was thinking about it, and if I was in your bf's shoes I prob forgiver my missus. But only thing keeps bothering me is that YOU doubted your relationship.

 

It would've been easier to forgive if it was just a drunken silly decision at a party with a work mate. But it was completely different. You doubted the most important aspects in the relationship. Attraction. Commitment and love.

 

You doubted your attraction to your bf, when you had crush on that guy, since Feb.

You doubted your commitment to your bf, when you asked your self " what if he had kiss me?? ".

You doubted your love to your bf, when you asked him " What would it have been if I would have met you instead of my boyfriend ".

 

How could you say this behind your boyfriend to another man? Do you have any idea how hurtful and mean this is??

 

You know, it's like I don't really wanna admit it. But it's just part of me hoping that at end it works out for you both. And all these doubts are because of the LDR. Maybe the distance playing a big part in this case. I hope you when you meet your bf again you will find all those good qualities in your bf. Then I hope you will be able to tell him about what happened and he will understand. Wish you luck.

[ALombard]

Samsung I am going to be honest here, DUMP YOUR BOYFRIEND!

 

I don't say this to be mean but you really have no respect for your current relationship. After reading your initial post and every one after that it seems like you're being very selfish. You care more about what affects you than your boyfriend. Also, there are a few big things that make or break a relationship, one of them being...are you ready for this...HONESTY! Surprising right?! Doing what you did, even if you didn't do anything physical, is still NOT RIGHT! F*ck I don't get people like you. You are "in love" with your current guy but you still allow feelings for another guy to surface?

 

I was in a relationship for almost 5 years and not at any moment in it did I have a crush for another girl. If I felt as if I would I didn't keep hanging around that girl. It's not hard to do if you respect the relationship you are in. My ex did the same sh*t to me that you did to your boyfriend and thought, "Hey I won't tell him" and well I found out and well I was pissed to say the least.

 

Be honest with him or get out of the relationship. Why would you date someone in another country anyway? And the excuse of him meeting you when you were a virgin and now you're not doesn't make your case any stronger. Kind of makes you seem like a slut.

[JamesM]

You came out and said you had a crush on a guy ( you are attracted to him ) that's cheating.

 

If this is cheating, then I am guessing that 99% of all married people have cheated.

 

I have had a few crushes on women while married. HOWEVER, I did not follow through on that attraction and it disappeared as I realized that this fascination was nothing more than a brief interest.

 

Based on what my wife has said, I am guessing that a couple of guys have turned her head, too.

 

If anyone thinks that after marriage there will be no crushes on the opposite sex, then he or she will have a rude awakening and perhaps a bad marriage as he or she doubts his or her love for the spouse.

The cheating here is not that there was a crush on someone. And IMO the cheating is not even the fact that sam sat in some guy's lap. The problem lies in the fact that she cannot tell her BF what happened.

 

No, I do not condone the actions, nor do I say that they are okay. I am simply saying that some guys would blow this off as a drunken night and other guys would consider it grounds for a breakup.

 

Sam, you must assume that your BF would consider it a reason to break up.

 

For your own sake, you need to come to terms with this and decide if it will stay at the back of your mind and bother you. If it will, then you need to confess and deal with the consequences.

[LSNoob]

Don't think so James. There is no right or wrong on that topic. Diff people have different opinions on that. It's just matter of moral codes, respect and class. Classes ranges from high class prude gentlemen to street thugs. So that's a lot of different answers to that question.

 

If this is cheating, then I am guessing that 99% of all married people have cheated.

Ya, you are a married man. But you don't represent all the married couple in the world. Have you interviewed and talked to every married couple out there? Nope didn't think so. So you just made that up "99%".

 

Again, there's no right or wrong on this topic. Different people have different view on this one.

[Dexter Morgan]

Neither one of your options. I'm going to be the best girlfriend and learn from this. Only we humans would trip over the same rock twice.... not happening again.

 

then you need to stay away from this guy. he is not a friend. and if you think you can be friends with this guy and not be disrespecting your bf, you are wrong.

[Dexter Morgan]

Role reversal..

 

Would you consider it cheating if your BF did the exact thing with a girl he had a crush on ?.

 

of course she is going to say no, then she'd have to admit she is a cheater.

[Dexter Morgan]

What is the point of this thread? You ask for comments and then blow off every good point everyone beats up with your lame justifications. You cheated. There are no if, ands, or buts around it. But you are looking for every excuse in the world to not admit it. If you were an honest person you would hone up to your boyfriend. But considering the fact you acted quite dishonestly with him already that will probably not happen.

 

damn, I like you LL!!

[Dexter Morgan]

As for the ''How about not partying at all'' statement I find that harsh. Just because I did something reckless doesn't mean I'll never party again.

 

its not harsh at all. why do you think people go to parties? to socialize mainly.

 

And would you go to parties where there were only other women?

 

I know you'll try to tell us that you would, but the honest answer from you would be "no". Because what fun would partying be without the opposite sex there, eh?

[Untouchable_Fire]

Yes you are right.. in the end it's strangers online I'll never even see face-to-face so there is no point getting worked on but if I haven't offended anyone then the same should be expected. I don't go along downplaying statements and mocking them but neither should they. I'm a fighter in the sense that I will not keep silent if someone is clearly insulting me and my story.

There are ways to tell someone stupid without actually saying the word... and the person won't even noticed it.

Obviously I did felt guilt else why would I be sharing this?

As for the ''How about not partying at all'' statement I find that harsh. Just because I did something reckless doesn't mean I'll never party again. By the way the next one will be possibly towards the ending of this month at the same place but I'll have better judgment this time and definitely not repeat this again. I believe in myself.. I can handle it...

 

If you attend this party at the end of the month... what will change? You can't keep doing the same thing over and over expecting different results.

 

When you met your BF you were young and didn't have a lot of experience. I understand that your relationship is long distance, that you want to feel attractive, that the attention feels good... ect. These things will drive your behavior in a bad direction if you don't get control.

 

Keeping secrets will kill the intimacy within your relationship. If you think wrestling with the guilt yourself will have no consequences... you are very wrong. I know because it's happened to me, and I've seen it happen to others. After a while you will not feel connected to your BF in the same way as before.

 

I would also like to say that while this is cheating... it's not that bad. I believe that if treated honestly this is easily forgivable. Yes, it would put a dent in the trust you two have short term.... but in the long run it will create even more trust. He will feel like you will be honest with him no matter what... even in the worst situation.

 

If you don't talk to him about this you will not have a relationship... all you will have is a lie.

[JamesM]

Don't think so James. There is no right or wrong on that topic. Diff people have different opinions on that. It's just matter of moral codes, respect and class. Classes ranges from high class prude gentlemen to street thugs. So that's a lot of different answers to that question.

 

I am confused as to what topic and what question.

 

Ya, you are a married man. But you don't represent all the married couple in the world. Have you interviewed and talked to every married couple out there? Nope didn't think so. So you just made that up "99%".

 

No, I don't represent all married couples. No, I have not interviewed every married couple. No statistic is comprised of every person, so based on that no statistics have any reality...yet it has been shown that most surveys do represent the total population if done correctly. But yes....99% is a number I chose as indicated by "I am guessing." I said that because from what I have read in many books is that this is normal for MOST couples.

 

The point so quietly ignored is that it is normal for married couples to find others attractive and even have crushes on others. But most couples realize that this is not true love and never act on such feelings.

 

The cheating here is not simply because there were/are feelings for someone else. It is because she acted on them to a small degree. And As I said before....some would call it cheating and others would not.

[carhill]

The point so quietly ignored is that it is normal for married couples to find others attractive and even have crushes on others. But most couples realize that this is not true love and never act on such feelings.

 

Yes, I agree, and have experienced both the positives and negatives (meaning I did act unhealthily) of that dynamic... but, your observation leads me to a question for the OP, who's clearly *not* married.

 

OP, do you view a BF/GF dynamic somewhat differently than if you were/are married? IOW, is BF/GF not as 'committed', therefore open to more flexibility in entertaining other interpersonal interactions? I've read that here on LS that some members/people have this perspective, that they're not truly committed until they're married. I've also experienced this perspective (it's not one I share) in real life. Any thoughts on that and why it might be, if evident, an impetus to non-disclosure? IOW, at this committment level, you don't perceive these actions to be any of BF's 'business'?

 

Without applying a test of right and wrong here, would you support your BF having a similar perspective regarding boundaries and disclosure? To me, this is an aspect of compatibility. If you're compatible in this way, outsiders opinions and observations are irrelevant. The relationship works for *you* (plural).

 

Anyway, good luck

[LSNoob]

I am confused as to what topic and what question.

The crush on others and its cheating or not.

 

yet it has been shown that most surveys do represent the total population if done correctly.

This case is unique because each person have different opinion. In order for this survey to be accurate it needs to be answered by every person alive ( aka impossible ).

 

that this is normal for MOST couples.

Again, there is no proof if its most people or not. If this survey is done in the US, then yea I won't be surprised if 99% of married couple have crushes on others ( when you look at infidelity percentages it's about 80% of marriages have infidelity ). I can understand why crushing on someone wouldn't be considered cheating .

 

While if this survey is done in some eastern country, don't be surprised if 99% of married couples view this as cheating.

 

Again, no right or wrong in this one. Every ones entitled to their own opinions.

[samsungxoxo]

Be honest with him or get out of the relationship. Why would you date someone in another country anyway? And the excuse of him meeting you when you were a virgin and now you're not doesn't make your case any stronger. Kind of makes you seem like a slut.

Well he's going to visit my country and there was previously in the past been talks about getting married in that instance...

[Maggotface]

Okay, so basically you're not asking us if you cheated because you kinda know you did but you want us to comfort you. You're definitly not asking us if you should tell him because you already decided that you wont. What is the point in this thread?

 

 

You're just asking for it to happen again. You said you will go partying, where P most likely will also be attending and I seriously doubt you'll be the only one there not drinking. Just because you dont think this is cheating doesnt mean your boyfriend wont. I know you're not going confess to what you've done but you do absolutely need to stay away from P and any other guys you're attracted to.

[samsungxoxo]

For the mother's advice, well first let me apologize to your mother, you happy now? But I still can't imagine a mother giving a bad advice to her own daughter. Why would a mother tell her daughter to deceive, lie, and betray her loved ones?

She doesn't even like my boyfriend (never did ever since Dec. 2006). I just found out all this ''making peace with him'' was part of an act (she will never really be fond of him) so if I would have proceeded more towards the cheating... she would have said ''He deserves it for being a cheap jerk, who knows he must be doing the same thing''. In that instance my parents cover-up for me which isn't that good but that's them.

"old-fashioned"? It's called decent women. And you didn't find a guy attractive, you had a crush on him. Don't change your words please. Thank you.

This is really what I meant by saying ''I had a crush on him''... I found him physically attractive ever since I met him at my work on mid February (now we're in different job places) that sometimes I would fantasize about him mentally but never acted out until that drunken moment at the party.

Excuse me, please don't generalize. What does this mean? No one can't help what? Keep it in their pants? Please again don't generalize because yes I CAN control my self. Thank you.

No one can't help finding someone attractive. Example: You're at the mall with your guy friends and by any chance you see a cute woman, then that's what your eyes sees. You can't help that... That's what I meant by saying no can't help it. You can't stop your eyes from looking.

You should be ashamed, only reason he turned you down because he have a gf. He valued his gf more than you valued your bf. What a shame.

First, I wouldn't have proceeded that far towards sex either. In post I stated perhaps kissing would have possibly taken place but not sex. Second, I was on my period that day.

A bigger pardon? " till I trip ". Are you trying to say that cheating is a mistake?

No why are you assuming again? Going to the party was not a mistake neither was choosing my friends nor drinking. The way I acted out was a miscalculation of judgment that was impaired greatly by alcoholic mixtures in that moment. I have clearly learned from this... what else do you need? I want to focus on being a good girlfriend (my regular self that is) and not acting in a savage way again.

Why you lying? I don't get it.

No that's how I would react if he did the same thing.

You say you don't want him to party with same woman, but yet you say you will go out partying with him again and just make sure it won't happen. Why do you have to be treated differently than you bf? How come he gets grounded and not party with her, but you should be trusted and go party with other guy?

Obviously that would have to happen if I found out he did this too. However, if your partner is unaware of this then there would be no point to this rule. It makes sense... what you don't know can't hurt you.

[samsungxoxo]

then you need to stay away from this guy. he is not a friend. and if you think you can be friends with this guy and not be disrespecting your bf, you are wrong.

I'll know how to use better judgment on the next party. P is definitely not a relationship material guy as he already told me in his drunken state that day how he once cheated on his girlfriend (well he cheated on an ex long ago but just revealed he did on this one too) but felt terrible about it. During that state, he was talking about how I should dump my boyfriend and why I'm still waiting.. how he would introduce me to his other friends one day, that I need a new man. In my drunken state, I pretty much said that same about his girlfriend but P told me he loves her.