kelsmommy Posted July 14, 2010 Share Posted July 14, 2010 This has got to be one of the hardest things I have dealt with in this whole separation. My soon-to-be-ex decided to leave home and take up residence elsewhere, because he didn't want to be around me anymore. Yet he was showing up all the time, answered my desperate calls whenever I wanted to talk, and even offered to be my "friend" because I had no one else (probably a ploy to keep me in check if this thing he has now went under). However, all bets were off when he shoved me to the wall after I told him I would use legal means to finish things off. I moved out to a womens shelter, and I'm better for it. Since then, it's been hard to cope at times since he's so angry about me "running off into the night". I was scared, and I knew it would get worse. He makes it a point to tell me that I abandoned the household, left him with all the bills to pay, and I was the one who bailed. This angers me because he bailed a long time ago, and I told him I planned on moving out. He is quick to tell me this in the moments we do have contact (I make it a point not to talk to him unless it's about our son), and it's made healing a little more difficult that I would have liked. But I know I've done the right thing. How can I get through with dealing with such a bonehead? Oh yeah, while he's making up all this BS, he hasn't responded to one legal notice I've sent him, and trips over his words when I tell him if he wants to get rid of me so bad, divorce me (it hurts to say it, but I have accepted that it's going to happen, and I'd rather be divorced and full grieved before I open up to another relationship). Thanks for your help. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted July 14, 2010 Share Posted July 14, 2010 Sounds like a power and control issue, couched in the form of mind games. He's trying to manipulate you emotionally, based on skills he learned during/prior to the M. Suggest mediation for the divorce and see how he responds. Can you get a default judgment of divorce in your jurisdiction? If so, properly serving him is all you need to do. He can simply not respond and the judge will rule on the merits of your original petition. My sympathies.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author kelsmommy Posted July 14, 2010 Author Share Posted July 14, 2010 Thank you for your sympathies. I just need to woman up and kick his butt to the curb. He's always been about the control - and I've just realized that now. I won't allow him to infect my son with his filth. I'll die before that happens. Link to post Share on other sites
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