mmmcarrots Posted July 14, 2010 Share Posted July 14, 2010 I'll try to make a long story ... short. Met a guy online through a site, we were super compatible. I actually made a list of qualities and hobbies, things I wanted in a person before we met and I was so surprised! Clicked instantly, talked for hours on end, sealed with deal with several sessions of mind blowing, amazing bedtime lol. He told me from the beginning he didnt have time for a relationship (workaholic, hectic sched)-- but yet we were sort of leaning towards it by getting intimate and close on those several occasions. After several weeks, Poof! No coming on messenger to talk to me (though I'm very well aware hes online). No more pursuing me. No more swinging by to visit and chill out. No calls, no texts...I'm like wtf? Its been over 2 months. If I try to email and say a casual I miss you or I was thinking about you, comes back with a sarcastic remark or changes the subject and replies to something other than the flirt in the email. I knew from the beginning the guy was shy and reserved, and not the flirting, emotionally open type. I'm just not sure what to do, its like now I have to initiate the contact to get a reply, and the reply is usually a joke or sarcastic remark. Which I do my share of too, since I fear rejection and use silliness as a defense mechanism. Should I just do as everyone is telling me-- back off and focus on me? I've noticed when I finally give up on my dates, they pop back up like radar and start pursuing me again. I just get flusterated and will send a casual, friendly email but do not get much back in return. I had my hopes up lol, I do not regret sleeping together or the fun time we had spending time self disclosing. But at the same time I sort of wanted to let him know I cared-- He just never gave me the chance. Link to post Share on other sites
sumdude Posted July 14, 2010 Share Posted July 14, 2010 Time to move on. He's obviously not interested. Sorry... Link to post Share on other sites
pureinheart Posted July 14, 2010 Share Posted July 14, 2010 Agree with SD...some people are unable to handle intimacy, thus flip-flopping affect...I say get out now. Hey, sorry you had to go through this:mad:...totally not cool for you, but better to find out now... Link to post Share on other sites
O'Malley Posted July 14, 2010 Share Posted July 14, 2010 He's more than aware that you were interested in him; it's why he keeps reemerging on your radar. He wants to keep you on a chain while other options are explored. Do you feel you are benefiting by investing your time into someone who deliberately pulls a disappearing act, then responds negatively to your contacts? Absolute silence on your end is the most satisfactory way to end this situation. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted July 14, 2010 Share Posted July 14, 2010 He told me from the beginning he didnt have time for a relationship He spoke the truth Assuming that you're not looking for a f*ck-buddy, the next time you hear those words from a guy, accept them and move on. There's no ambiguity with that statement, IMO. Link to post Share on other sites
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