cris Posted July 17, 2000 Share Posted July 17, 2000 HELP! My serious boyfriend and I can't decide whether to continue our relationship when he moves to go to flight school! He will be in the Navy for 10 years and I have a pretty solid career in Washington. We talked about me moving to be with him, going to grad school and then when he gets out when we are 32 we will move back to DC so that I can have my career. Should I sacrifice for my man? To make matters worse, he is not sure if I'm "the one." He treats me fantastically--the best boyfriend I've ever had--but he is not so experienced in relationships and is nervous about knowing whether or not he wants me to sacrifice for him is he is not 100% sure. Any advice would be eagerly welcomed--especially from married/engaged professionals and military spouses. Thanks, Cris Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted July 17, 2000 Share Posted July 17, 2000 I don't think you should have to ask others if you should sacrifice for your man. You are the ONLY one who can make that decision. What really bothers me about this is that he is not sure you are "the one." So you are considering uprooting yourself and changing the course of your entire life for a guy who won't put a ring on your finger and make a committment. Forget it and forget him, in my opinion. I don't care how good it is...I don't care if it's the greatest. I think he is the most selfish man on the planet if he asks you to make such a supreme sacrifice without some major commmittment on his part. If you are in grad school and then he is in flight school...and then he gets transferred to a carrier or some other base in the US or around the world, you will still be stuck in grad school. Also, the Navy does not make it easy for girlfriends of aviators. They do not provide quarters or any benefits. It's very likely you could end up alone in the U.S. while he's on a two year assignment in some crazy place aboard a carrier on the other side of the planet once he gets out of flight school. I am assuming you have thought about this. In my opinion, if he isn't sure your the one, stay put and keep your life going just as it is. If you uproot and things go sour a year or two from now, you'll really be upset with yourself. And you can't look back and ask what if, either. Oh, yes, you can gamble with this but it would be a gamble if he felt you WERE the one. But when he is not sure, it is a WILD gamble. Why would you want to make such a sacrifice to be with a guy who is not sure about you. YUK!!! Stick with your SOLID career and find a SOLID relationship with a guy who KNOWS you are the ONE and vice versa. That's only what I think. You are the one who ultimately has to make the decision. (Sorry to be so opinionated here, you caught me at the wrong time I guess) Link to post Share on other sites
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