What should I do?

[helpmepleaze]

I'm a senior in highschool, and about 3 months ago this junior girl whom I've never spoken to left me a note telling me I seem cool and would like to go out with me. At the time I was under a ton of pain and sadness from cross country, so I gladly accepted thinking she was really cute. After the first month, I had gone no farther than kissing her, and I talked to her after every period in school. About a month after meeting her, possibly the most significant event of my life occurred where the girl who I had cherished for the previous six years had come back into my mind. She lives far off in college, so I wasn't going to start a relationship with her, but the situation was taxing my emotions to the point where I no longer felt an attraction to this current girl. Now, three months later, I not only feel no attraction, but everything she does annoys me. I think this is because the other girl signified everything I want in a woman, so now I am noticing the flaws in this current person. She's obsessed with me, asking me to do stuff all the time, giving me notes saying how she wishes I would start giving her goodbye kisses again, etc. It really hurts me because I don't want to hurt her, but I can't take it. The relationship right now is not real; it's an illusion where I try to be nice all the time instead of being a friend if you know what I mean. I mean, I think about that other girl and how she was perfect for me. Not like Mother Mary perfect, but perfect in that she wasn't rich, she was beautiful, she had a great personality, she was the nicest person I'd ever met, etc. This girl annoys me because she is rich and spends money like it's paper, she sounds like an airhead telling me about the stupid things she does, she isn't really that popular, and I just can't be myself around her. Everytime I mention that I'm going running after school, she just says ah that's terrible you shouldn't have to run, and I feel like saying "no, I run because I like it, and it's important to me." It just really irritates me..

 

Anyways, now I try to avoid going to my locker so I don't have to see her all day, I've been making up excuses to not go out with her on the weekends, and I even scheduled a college visit to Colorado this weekend just so I could not go to the turn-about dance with her. I know I'm being cruel, but I really have lost all emotional response thanks to the events surrounding the last two months.

 

I think I know what you'll say, but should I dump her? If so, how would you do it? I really feel like calling tonight and saying I can't go out with anyone now (which I can't), but I don't know.

[yes]

yes, you should break up. don't mention the other girl to her, just say you're not feeling it, you need to be single, focus on school, etc. make sure you don't get into an on/off situation, just make a break and stick to it.

 

as for that girl far in college - keep in mind what you have is more of a fantasy of her than what she's really like. but that's no excuse to date the current girl without even liking her.

 

good luck,

-yes