UCFKevin Posted February 7, 2004 Share Posted February 7, 2004 I should say MOST girls. I shouldn't generalize. But...I dunno. I think I'm a fairly decent looking guy, but I'm also a moron when it comes to knowing if a girl is interested or not. Girls are usually MUCH more subtle than guys when checking the other sex out. I can never tell when it's happening. Hence, I don't approach them. Most of the time, anyway. Hell, if I'm drunk, I'll do just about anything, but sober, I'll have to know for damn sure that I'm not gonna be wasting my time. But it's pretty damn obvious when I'M interested, I mean I don't oogle or drool or lick my lips or anything like that. So, why does it always have to be up to the guy? Why don't girls ever come up to me and chat me up? What gives? Maybe it's some kind of vibe I'm putting out or something. I dunno. Just once I would LOVE to be at a bar or at the mall or something and have a girl come up to me and start flirting. That's happened to me a total of ONCE in my life. Just kinda frustrating sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
Darkangelism Posted February 7, 2004 Share Posted February 7, 2004 Good question, i wish they would...i had one that did, but she was...well her legs cant stay together Link to post Share on other sites
Author UCFKevin Posted February 7, 2004 Author Share Posted February 7, 2004 She was bow-legged? Link to post Share on other sites
ouch Posted February 7, 2004 Share Posted February 7, 2004 maybe she rode her horse too much Link to post Share on other sites
dsbs1939 Posted February 7, 2004 Share Posted February 7, 2004 I've done it a couple of times, and my experience has been that a lot of guys just..how can i put it, can't handle it. They get flustered, embarasse, oce I approached a guy and he started putting me down and making inapporpriate comments. I knowit is the 21st century, but i wonder if some guys, deep down inside, think that any woman who approaches him first must be loose...does this make sense? Consequently, it has been quite a while since I made the first move... Link to post Share on other sites
Darkangelism Posted February 7, 2004 Share Posted February 7, 2004 No, i mean she was slutty. Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted February 7, 2004 Share Posted February 7, 2004 i don't normally approach guys per se, but if i want somebody to come up to me, i'll catch his eyes and smile - it's up to him from there. or if it's not a total stranger but somebody in my class or smth, i'll just ask him a question - i.e. give him a chance to talk to me - but again, it's up to him to take it from there. incidentally - i did that to a guy maybe a two months ago, and he only came up to me last week - i wonder what's up with that (I'm sure he saw me smile at him back then). -yes PS as for you, Kevin, i wonder if girls don't approach because you don't seem like the type to be too shy to approach yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author UCFKevin Posted February 7, 2004 Author Share Posted February 7, 2004 Well that doesn't seem to be much of a reason NOT go come up to me first... Personally, I'd LOVE it for a girl to come up to me and strike up the conversation. I certainly wouldn't put her down or anything like that, I'd be all into it. Link to post Share on other sites
BlockHead Posted February 7, 2004 Share Posted February 7, 2004 Maybe they don’t want to risk rejection. Maybe they want guys to do all of the work. Link to post Share on other sites
Samson Posted February 7, 2004 Share Posted February 7, 2004 WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T: oogle or drool or lick my lips or anything like that. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!DAMN IT MAN, WHERE IS YOUR DRIVE! Get out there and DROOL! OOGLE!......LICK! Wouldn't it be absolutely amazingly cool to have a girl do this? Yes? This is exactly why I have a dog. Link to post Share on other sites
carla Posted February 7, 2004 Share Posted February 7, 2004 Kevin I don't know what your like at the bar or anything, but your like most guy you sit at the bar with your buddies, or hang out at the pool table, what I'm saying is pick a spot and that where you hang until closing time. Suggestion: Wander around Case the joint out. Some good looking girl at the other end of bar will never see you if your at opposite ends of the room. Believe me girls are aways checking out good looking guys when they walk by. Suggestion 2: If you see a bunch of girls huddled together with little space to get by; kind of walk by these girls, like your tring to get through and be very polite "Excuse me ladies. Are you ladies having a good time tonight?" Acknowledge all of them by giving them a nice sexy smile, don't just look at the prettiest girl. Believe me with politness and a smile you will get noticed. Suggestion 3 If you at the bar and a girl is just standing there by herself waiting to order a drink just say Hi ask her if she's having a good time. DON'T I repeat DON'T give her one of those corny one liners "Are you an alien? Because you just abducted my heart." This maybe your lucky year. It's leap year and women are to ask men this year. Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
Vivid_29 Posted February 7, 2004 Share Posted February 7, 2004 I think it's because the ladies know that they've got us by the balls, because we are always on the hunt! There are more women than men in this world and we still have to come to them! It's fun being on the hunt! Happy hunting, Kevin! ~V Link to post Share on other sites
Author UCFKevin Posted February 7, 2004 Author Share Posted February 7, 2004 I've never done one of those lame ass lines. I don't really have TOO much of a problem going up to a girl, but c'mon, why's it always gotta be on my end? Is it wrong to assume that if a girl doesn't approach, she ain't interested? Link to post Share on other sites
carla Posted February 7, 2004 Share Posted February 7, 2004 I know it's the 21st century and more women are being adventurous and making the 1st move. But I think most women are still old fashion when it comes to relationships. Maybe we feel our hearts are more sensitive to rejection. I don't know. The other day my bf of 6 1/2 years hinted that it's leap year and women are to propose on leap year. It's given me alot to think about. Now I know what guys must go through. I got to make this prefect and will he be blown away. Then I also have feelings that hey this is his job to propose, I'm a woman my job is to say yes and plan the wedding. Anyway I am going to make the move. But getting back to you, no don't assume because she doesn't aproach that she is not interested. The suggestions that I gave were not for you to make the first move but more for you to be noticed. I suppose sug:3 was the first move. But if you say Hi and leave it at that doesn't mean your making a move. Are you making a move on your guy friends when you say hi? I didn't think so. Just make yourself more noticed. If the pic is really you I'm sure you get noticed more then you think. Link to post Share on other sites
Author UCFKevin Posted February 7, 2004 Author Share Posted February 7, 2004 Hmm. I suppose that's a good point. Just saying hello could be all it takes. Might clue them in that I'm interested. ANd yes, the picture is really me, but to be honest, I mean, I'm just a normal looking guy I guess, but I really don't notice it when girls notice me. Link to post Share on other sites
monkey00 Posted February 7, 2004 Share Posted February 7, 2004 u dont notice eh? i guess you're not the type of person who's aware of his surroundings. if so dont force yourself, i find this to be in-born or personality type of trait. wouldnt want u to be a perv and checking all the girls out now would we? i dont mind if a girl hit on me, but i dunno ive never had that happen, so i dont know how i would react in such a situation. Link to post Share on other sites
meanon Posted February 7, 2004 Share Posted February 7, 2004 I really don't notice it when girls notice me. That's your problem Kevin. I bet they are telling you they are interested all the time and you miss it. Young women in social situations tend to signal their interest in a number of ways the most common of which is repeated glances: looking at you, looking away when you look at them, looking back again etc. A series of glances like this is often a clear signal of interest. You can have such fun once you get this. Link to post Share on other sites
Iamhappy Posted February 7, 2004 Share Posted February 7, 2004 Kevin - I don't think you're average at all. I personally think you're super cute. Link to post Share on other sites
Author UCFKevin Posted February 7, 2004 Author Share Posted February 7, 2004 Meanon, see, that's the thing I always wonder, if they're looking when I'm not looking. THey should be a BIT more obvious! But no big deal. I guess I'll just have to break the ice and just hope that someday, some girl will just come up to me. Ah well. Iamnotnothing...thank you very much. Super cute? That's a hell of a lot better than just normal cute! Link to post Share on other sites
monkey00 Posted February 8, 2004 Share Posted February 8, 2004 Originally posted by UCFKevin Meanon, see, that's the thing I always wonder, if they're looking when I'm not looking. THey should be a BIT more obvious! But no big deal. I guess I'll just have to break the ice and just hope that someday, some girl will just come up to me. Ah well. Iamnotnothing...thank you very much. Super cute? That's a hell of a lot better than just normal cute! now that yuou mentioned this, it also occured to me that this is also another test. "if he doesnt have the confidence/courage to come up to me and talk/ask me out, then he doesnt deserve me." it also shows signs of masculinity that you have confidence when it comes to breaking the ice back then i wasnt an icebreaker, if you didnt break my ice i wouldnt start talking. now since a few months ago, ice breaking has become a habit and has become 2nd nature to me that i dont even hesitate once to talk to a girl that i might be interested in. usually most of the girls i break the ice with, 95% of the time they have a high interest level in me and usually we can start enjoying each other's company immediately. Link to post Share on other sites
meanon Posted February 8, 2004 Share Posted February 8, 2004 Meanon, see, that's the thing I always wonder, if they're looking when I'm not looking. THey should be a BIT more obvious LOL Kevin - you need to be quicker, that's all. I bet they are looking Link to post Share on other sites
Darkangelism Posted February 8, 2004 Share Posted February 8, 2004 Kevin, you seem like the person on the boards that would be least likely to not be approaching girls. Link to post Share on other sites
longlegzs80 Posted February 8, 2004 Share Posted February 8, 2004 Kevin, for you to be asking a question like this really is shocking. You seem like the type of guy who has girls who would fight over you, and where you would never be single. The reason why I am saying this is because you are very nice looking, gorgeous smile in your pic, and just an overall nice guy on this forum, so I just can't believe girls don't approach you. The thing is maybe you are sending off a vibe. There are probubly tons and I mean tons of women who would love to get with you, but are hesitant themselves as far as if your interested. Maybe they think your taken. Maybe with you being such a very sexy looking guy, women are intimidated by your looks. I know there are tons of guys I find physically attractive but to me, I would be very nervous about approaching them because they are so nice looking. Not sure if that makes sense. Anywho, just be yourself and do things with the guys. Go out with the guys to where the ladies are at. Bars/clubs, beaches, malls, etc. If you find a women attractive and she is giving you a come hither look, go over and introduce yourself. Someone women are just scared, like myself of getting rejected or not knowing when someone is interested. So, your best bet is to do your thing and make as much eye contact with women that you find attractive as possible. And be open. If a women is checking you out and she is not as attractive, buy her a drink, make tons of eye contact, look her way at her and only her, dance with her. Just something. I have always wanted to have the guts to go up to a guy that I find truely attractive, but I have the thoughts in my head like maybe he is taken, maybe he is cocky which is such a turn off, maybe he would not be interested in me. So, that is why I don't approach any guy along with the fact that I am truely shy. Anywho, some women could not know the signs of if a guy is interested in them. I know I do to a certain point, but then I don't. I hope this kinda helps you out man. Link to post Share on other sites
Thinkalot Posted February 8, 2004 Share Posted February 8, 2004 Kevin, I'd be surprised if you aren't attracting heaps of girls...so PAY ATTENTION! lol! I'd also like to add, that it was ME who asked my guy out on the first date...he was thrilled...and now, here we are, happily together 3 years down the track. Link to post Share on other sites
Curt Posted February 8, 2004 Moderators Share Posted February 8, 2004 I think it comes right down to Western Society's cultural expectations with respect to dating and relationships. It is bred into us by our culture that the men are (almost expected) to do the work of getting to know a woman...and women accept or reject. If they (the men) don't do the approaching, they're criticized for not being strong/confident men, or unworthy of her at worst. If the woman does it, it is (and I think fallaciously) often believed that these ladies appear almost "desperate" or "un-ladylike." This may not be a "fair" setup, it certainly does not always yield the "best results" for either party...but it's what we have. I doubt this will ever change to any great extent. Curt Link to post Share on other sites
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