lullaby Posted July 16, 2010 Share Posted July 16, 2010 (edited) I'm repetitive, I know, but please bear with me What do you do when you feel like you're stronger, ready to take in whatever happens but still afraid of the outcome because it may actually be the final goodbye? I'm struggling with the idea of contacting my ex to put a sort of closure to what we had the last couple of months. He never said the magic words "I want you back", nor did we have “the talk” about our break up. We went through a "catching up" process instead of a reconciliation. I got my hopes up when he contacted me again one month after dumping me and I thought we were getting back but then I got fed up and we sort of had an argument. I was too anxious all the time. The thing is that I still miss him, need him, of course! I've been doing some flirting, there are a couple of guys I like, but I feel too eager to replace the emptiness with someone else and at the same time I have this weird feeling because I know he will make contact soon or later. I gave him time when he needed it, went NC, he reappeared, and whenever I put some distance these past months, he kept contacting me. Now it’s been 14 days since we don’t talk. It was his b-day and since everything was fine I called him. He had came to my b-day and we spent the night together although we both knew it was just the sexual tension speaking. The last time I called I said I would call him the following day and didn’t. I never said “don’t contact me again” or anything like that, in fact, after that stupid argument, he showed up at my place asking for forgiveness. I can tell I'm forcing myself to put a closure to something that hasn't one because we never talked about what happened, we just let silly conversation take place and I never asked him a question about the break up. Should I risk contacting him one more time to talk? To see what happens and to put a closure to it if necessary? I wish I wouldn’t have to but I can’t fully move on if I feel everything is fine. I’m 100% positive I don’t want to go back to that game we both played, that’s certain, I want him back but on my terms only. What do you think? Edited July 16, 2010 by lullaby spelling Link to post Share on other sites
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