Kallon311 Posted February 7, 2004 Share Posted February 7, 2004 Ok where do I start? I have been in a serious relationship since I was 17. She was my first real girlfriend and I was instantly in love. I was young and dumb I guess. Well now im 21 and we are about to be on our 5th year together. My big problem is that she is a great girl and we are so compatible BUT, I'm finding myself interested in other girls a lot more than I should. Ok maybe its time for a break but im afraid if I take a break I might be loosing somthing good, or trying to fix somthing that isnt broken....? We used to talk about marraige but I dont know if I want to be hitched when I havent seen it all yet. I want to see whats out there before we are married so I wont end up cheating on her or what not. But again I am afraid to see what else is out there in fear I'm making a big mistake and loose her forever. I guess im thinking this because there is another girl I would like to spend time with. I know I shouldnt have these feelings if she's "the one." We have discussed this "break" and she says she would let me date other girls because she wants me to see how other girls are. There is just a lot of history I guess you can say amoung us. I could see myself spending the rest or my life with her, but at this point I dont feel I can...... Link to post Share on other sites
Reckless Posted February 7, 2004 Share Posted February 7, 2004 You were very young when you guys got together - you're still young; young love sounds nice but its success rate is abysmal. If you're feeling unready to commit long term, then don't; once you both start discussing 'a break' it's just a matter of time anyway... If you both feel the need to experiment then go ahead.. BUT...I would point out that sleeping with scores of people before 'settling down' is NOT a prerequisite for a happy union, and sometimes leads to problems, insecurities and doubts. Also, before you make a final decision please consider the fact that ... - You are deeply attached to your girlfriend and you will suffer big time when you split. It will be extremely difficult for you to see her with other men and, whether or not you feel relieved at being free you WILL have moments of utter regret being convinced that you have made the worst mistake of your life. Be ready for pain before any possible 'gain'... she says she would let me date other girls because she wants me to see how other girls are This is either 1) a lie (she's saying what she thinks you want to hear) or 2) true (because she doesn't love you any more). Few people want to see their partner in love with someone else. It's an extremely horrible feeling unless you are completely detached from the other person, which, as I have said, you are not. - you say I know I shouldnt have these feelings if she's "the one." common misconception here. There will always be the possibility of feelings developing for other people. You could be married to the 'love of your life' and perfectly happy this does NOT mean that you will never be attracted to other people; commitment isn't being dead or blind it's making a conscious choice that when (not if, when) that happens you will do everything in your power to stop the rot and protect your relationship, that you will stick to your choice. You're obviously not ready for that now and that's okay, few 21 year olds are, bottom line, go out and see if the grass is indeed greener, it rarely is but sometimes we have to learn to value what we have through experience and not by being told. Link to post Share on other sites
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