boyfriend obsession?

[Gabby]

I really love my boyfriend. We've been together for well over a year and although we've had our ups and downs, it's been an overall very happy and committed relationship. We've been living together for the last year and we've discussed marriage, but I want to wait until I graduate from college and he respects that and it really does make sense. He works for a financial planning firm.

 

The thing is, I think about him a lot and still get that fluttery feeling I got when we first started dating. I sometimes like to wear his clothes, especially when he's gone to work all day and I don't get to see him. I always make sure he has dinner when he gets home all ready, and I get upset if it's not.

 

I can't tell if this is unhealthy or what. He doesn't mind and tells me that he likes all the attention I give him and he thinks it's "adorable". I think I should mention that I lived with my Mom and granddad growing up because my Dad passed away when I was little, before I can remember. My Granddad was 60 when I was born.

 

In some ways, my boyfriend is almost like a father to me. He's older, and supports me (my mom pays for college and my car, but my boyfriend pays the rent and groceries). I'm very dependent and I think a little too clingy sometimes because my boyfriend often says he feels guilty if he leaves me alone to play golf with his friends or run errands. I don't want him to feel guilty! I just don't know what to do. I love him, and of course I love to be around him. But I can't tell if I am too clingy. I suppose it's a "can't see the forest for the trees" problem.

 

I'm sorry this is so long. It's kind of complicated to explain. Basically, I don't know if I'm too clingy or obsessed, but I think I may be because he feels guilty when he leaves me. Can you love someone too much?

[Taressa]

It's pretty natural to seek for the feelings you missed as a child without a father in a relationship with a man. His comforting arms and gentle company must feel wonderful to you.

 

There is a problem, however, in that the day inevitably comes when you outgrow this lovely father-love-feeling. Someday the relationship will feel controlling to you and dependent to him.

 

Don't despair. You can prevent any damage by building other support around you. Seek out your friends and stay actively involved in their lives. Make sure you have activities and friends that give you interests outside your life with your boyfriend. Keeping yourself interested and involved in things outside him will help fill your needs which are currently met only in him. That, in turn, will help you offer your strongest self to him and what you do for him will be done from love, not from desire to bind him to you.

 

No, you can't love too much but NEED is sometimes mistaken for LOVE. Your friends' love and ongoing truthful advice will help you distinguish between the two.

[billy the kid]

I don't think you are obsessed, but I do think that he better not let you go,, you sound like quite a catch..

I really love my boyfriend. We've been together for well over a year and although we've had our ups and downs, it's been an overall very happy and committed relationship. We've been living together for the last year and we've discussed marriage, but I want to wait until I graduate from college and he respects that and it really does make sense. He works for a financial planning firm. The thing is, I think about him a lot and still get that fluttery feeling I got when we first started dating. I sometimes like to wear his clothes, especially when he's gone to work all day and I don't get to see him. I always make sure he has dinner when he gets home all ready, and I get upset if it's not. I can't tell if this is unhealthy or what. He doesn't mind and tells me that he likes all the attention I give him and he thinks it's "adorable". I think I should mention that I lived with my Mom and granddad growing up because my Dad passed away when I was little, before I can remember. My Granddad was 60 when I was born. In some ways, my boyfriend is almost like a father to me. He's older, and supports me (my mom pays for college and my car, but my boyfriend pays the rent and groceries). I'm very dependent and I think a little too clingy sometimes because my boyfriend often says he feels guilty if he leaves me alone to play golf with his friends or run errands. I don't want him to feel guilty! I just don't know what to do. I love him, and of course I love to be around him. But I can't tell if I am too clingy. I suppose it's a "can't see the forest for the trees" problem. I'm sorry this is so long. It's kind of complicated to explain. Basically, I don't know if I'm too clingy or obsessed, but I think I may be because he feels guilty when he leaves me. Can you love someone too much?