am i overreacting?

[Jenna524]

my boyfriend and i have been together for a month. we met online on a dating site. we live an hour and half from each other and can only see each other on weekends. in order to keep in contact we have been text messaging each other and also chatting on that same dating site.

 

on my dating profile, i immediately changed it to say that i was now in a relationship, thanks for stopping by, whatever. he never changed his and i just chalked it up to him not even thinking about it. well today i got an email from another girl that he had been talking to on there. she said he told her he was single, but when she saw his facebook page saying he was in a relationship with me, she confronted him. he then told her that he did have a gf and was sorry she had to find out that way. she was nice enough to contact me and let me know about it. they had been talking for a week and had plans to meet.

 

i confronted my bf about it. his reason for doing it was that he wasnt sure how i felt about him. i tell him how much i love him every day. he says he will never do it again, that he really f_cked up, that hes really sorry. i want to believe him. i want to trust him. i know he really didnt DO anything, but it looks like the intention was there.

 

what do i do now? i really fell hard for this guy, i wanted to be with him forever. now im just so lost....

[skydiveaddict]

Doesn't seem like a huge deal to me. I would give him a second chance

[Woman In Blue]

You've been with him for a whole MONTH and you're already "in love" and want to be with him "forever?"

 

What grade are you in? This sounds so childish.

 

i confronted my bf about it. his reason for doing it was that he wasnt sure how i felt about him. i tell him how much i love him every day. he says he will never do it again, that he really f_cked up, that hes really sorry

.

LOL...what a liar. Yuppers, if I'm not quite sure how my boyfriend's feeling about me, I'll just go to a bar and start meeting NEW men. Does this ridiculous statement make sense to you? It doesn't to me, either.

 

The guy got caught lying and sleazing it up on the dating site. Lots of guys on dating sites do this crap. They're so afraid they're going to miss the "Bigger, Better Deal" - now that they're pulled off the market, they're petrified something better may have been just around the corner...

 

Bottom line - you've only been dating a month and it sounds as though you want to consume the guy already. Back off about 80 paces - he's clearly NOWHERE NEAR being "in love" or wanting to be with you "forever."

[Daniel89]

I agree. there should be a rule where a realationship should start after a few months of dating.

[luvstarved]

I disagree. I think there should be a rule that the two parties involved decide on the rules and then abide by them. I don't see that there should be some objective minimal time constraint. It's perfectly valid to want exclusivity before even entering a sexual relationship. It's perfectly valid to not want that, too. Everybody's entitled to what they want, they just have to get it from someone who agrees with them!

 

I think it is wise to be clear at what point you expect exclusivity in a relationship. Unless and until that is mutually agreed upon, you're just dating around IMO.

 

But it seems that with the mutual public declaration of "in a relationship" on facebook, there was some presumption of exclusivity. This was further validated by his agreement that he f*cked up.

 

I also would not call it "not a big deal". If a guy is really that into you, it usually takes a lot longer than a month for the novelty to wear off. If he is doing this sort of thing now, I wouldn't feel all that optimistic about his long-term capacity for monogamy.