kelly1081 Posted February 7, 2004 Share Posted February 7, 2004 I have been broken up with my ex bf for about 10 1/2 months now. We were together for 3 wonderful years and he ended it with me. Our relationship was so good and full of fun, energy, friendship and so much love. I feel so lost without him, still love him, miss him, etc. I have tried to date but it just doesn't feel right. When he left me, he got into another serious relationship about a month later. I know he left me for her and that right there should tell me to just forget about it but I can't. We have not spoken on the phone, only little emails first after the breakup and when I had a death in my family a couple months ago I had sent him a email. He responded with his condolences and said he missed me, that if I needed to talk to call him, that he would like to meet up with me. It did not lead me to thinking that he wanted me back, but I was happy to know he cared. A week before christmas I called his cell and left a message (took me about a hour to actually do it). He never called me back. I am just upset because he told me to call him if I ever needed anything, etc and then he just doesn't fall through with it. It made me feel as if his words weren't as sincere and caring as they were in his email back to me. Why did he say that to me? It hurts and I struggle a lot with my emotions about him. I just don't understand. I know I deserve better and that he is not worth my tears yet at the end of the day I always seem to think of him, or dream about him and it tears my very existence apart. I need to find people out there who are going through similiar struggles. Please help me help myself. Sincerely, Once Happy Cheerfull Kelly now a mess Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted February 7, 2004 Share Posted February 7, 2004 Why did he say that? Because it was easy to say. It was also easy NOT to call. Please let me give you my condolences on your loss. No need to demonize your ex - he's just moved on. For all we know his new gf would have his nuts in a vise grip if she knew that he was calling you. Do you have close friends who can give you some extra attention right now? Link to post Share on other sites
Ms.Bull Posted February 9, 2004 Share Posted February 9, 2004 I know how you feel, I am going through the same thing with me ex. Tells me if I need him to call and he wont answer his phone. We also had a great relationship and I dont understand what went wrong or how to go on and deal with my hurt feelings. My heart goes out to you because I know exactly what you are going through right now. Link to post Share on other sites
NEONINK Posted February 9, 2004 Share Posted February 9, 2004 Sorry, but I have to ask. Obviously, he's moved on, and when he said call if you needed anything, he didn't mean it, he just felt bad for you. But... now on to the real problem.... You have a WONDERFUL 3 years together. Then boom... it's gone. How can that be? Surely there were problems? Were you ignoring red flags all over the place? I don't get it. Do you feel deceived? I would. It didn't happen to me, and I'm feeling it here in NC. Wow. It must be very hard to trust again. But, if you look deep, can you see something other than wonderful and fun in that relationship? How could he leave if it was good? Link to post Share on other sites
bicylejunk Posted February 9, 2004 Share Posted February 9, 2004 Sometimes there are no Red Flags. I think sometimes people just get bored with themselves and think they need a change. Because if it was so perfect how could you up and leave? It doesn't make sense unless they just want to see what else is out there in the world. We're trained as a society to not settle for anything it seems, keep all options open. That's BS if you ask me. People would try and tell me all the time that I was better than what was happening to me with my ex leavibg me to find herself, only to keep stringing me along, not giving me an answer then just stopping all contact altogether because she was ashamed and couldn't get the courage to talk to me like a woman. It's true, we are better than that, but it sucks, becuase all i think about is her...and how I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. We just have to get over them. I used to think that True Love would prevail but, after all this i don't think so. It still drives me insane 6 months later and I can't think about any other girls but her, But i pray that the pain will go away. You just need to submerse yourself in other things you love and better yourself. That's all you can do. Link to post Share on other sites
morrigan Posted February 9, 2004 Share Posted February 9, 2004 You're living in the past, wanting things to be the way you felt they were. His persepective might have been different. You can't go back 3 years, and you need to get on with your life. I wouldn't attempt to contact him anymore. It's only raising false expectations in you, and when he doesn't contact you, you feel the same old rejection. You don't know him anymore, and maybe if you did have a friendship with him now, you would not find him as attractive. Understand that this was an experience to learn from, that you can't expect relationships or other people to be perfect. Also realize that it was better that he had the honesty to break up with you rather than drag out a unhappy relationship. Best of luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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