hular Posted July 17, 2010 Share Posted July 17, 2010 Hi... me and my girlfriend have been seeing each other for 2 yrs now.... currently we are in a long distance(LD) relationship have been in this for about a year. We generally have always been well connected, travelled alot together, made arrangements to meet each other once every 3 months during the LD. A few months ago we got engaged and decided to marry early in 2011. I am 29 and she is 32. My fiance is currently pursuing a doctorate and is going to graduate next summer.... only thing is she wants to switch her career immediately after she is done with her phd to a media/entertainment industry. Currently she and myself are not in the best financial position. After working for a big name firm i quit my job and tried to start my own venture in my home country... that didnt work out but I didnt loose too much of my nest egg in it. And i have been saving up and managing my own family business too. Personally I am financially stable but i know after the marriage, the family scenario comes in the picture and my personal financial condition is not enough to support us. My fiance receives her yearly stipend from her academic institution, the amount isn't alot, so i dont expect her to save much. After we marry I want both of us to start saving so that we can plan and provide for a family and not live a pay check to pay check situation. Another important factor being, since she is 32, we plan to have a kid in about 1 to 2 years atmost. However with my fiancé wanting to shift careers in an aldready bad economy and that to after dedicating 6 years for her PHD -> I find this hard to digest. Since she plans to move to a media/ entertainment industry....I dont think she will be able to have the financial stability for the first few years, plus she is not sure about exactly what she wants to do and is just testing things out because she has an overall feeling about wanting to be in media/entertainment. Personally I belive it will be tough for her to devote time to the kids, because she is just starting her career or rather still finding her career. This opinion I have shared with her and it wasn't music to her ears. Family planning, financial stability and providing for my family are very high on my priority list. I will do whatever it takes to make sure there is food on the plate, a roof over my head and a good life for my kids and wife . (I came from a very poor background but things have changed slowly over the years, so I really know the value of life and what it is like living without an allowance and stuff). Starting off I believe the couple should support each other financially. Hence I would like her to postpon her direct leap into the entertainment/ media industry and focus on it a few years from now. she can even find a niche on the side if she wants before committing to a whole new line of work. Please let me know how I can make sure my fiancé is able to make a career change and at the same time we can achieve a financial support system for our family ..... (Sorry about the long story, but if I left out anything I would be unfair and unclear about the situation.) Link to post Share on other sites
lovelorcet Posted July 17, 2010 Share Posted July 17, 2010 Why don't you give her a chance to work things out for herself? Do you have any idea what it takes to finish a PhD? She may need a year or 2 just to figure out what she wants to do after... The way you write about this issue it sounds like you want to pin her down and force her to meet your financial expectations. Link to post Share on other sites
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