lovehurts931 Posted February 8, 2004 Share Posted February 8, 2004 Cheating?? Post: 1 | Quote: Hello: Any advice is greatly appreciated. Well, I've been together with my GF for the last 2 and a half years and in the last two months or so I've felt a change in our relationship (distant, less affectionate, spend much less time together, etc.) She reassures me that she still loves me. About a week ago however, I accidentally discover a disturbing text message which she had sent to one of her new friends whom I openly have a problem with (he's very interested in her). She goes on to say that she loves him. Well I approached her about the message and she tells me that there is nothing between them. I ask her why she feels she needs to have that kind of a relationship and she replies saying that she enjoys the feeling of control she has over this guy. I asked her if it was the same with me, and she said no. That I was different. What's going through her mind? Where's she coming from? How should I go about the situation? Should I basically give an ultimatum it's him or me? Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
jmargel Posted February 8, 2004 Share Posted February 8, 2004 Dude, she's giving you an EXCUSE. Actions speak louder than words, her distancing herself, etc.. The text message is the topping on the cake. She is playing with both yours & his emotions. Give her the ultamatium, better yet, just ditch her. If you can't have communication & trust in a relationship you don't have very much to go on. Link to post Share on other sites
lovehurts931 Posted February 8, 2004 Share Posted February 8, 2004 Thanks for your advice. It's just so difficult, prior to these recent events our relationship was amazing, honestly. I still love her deeply and I believe that she still loves me. *sigh* Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted February 8, 2004 Share Posted February 8, 2004 Originally posted by lovehurts931 Cheating?? Post: 1 | Quote: She goes on to say that she loves him. I've been accused of taking a hard line on this type of thing....BUT....GAWD....if you read it with your own eyes....THINK ABOUT IT.....WTF?????? I wouldn't BE in a relationship with someone who was playing the field elsewhere. No excuses.....no apologies. I just wouldn't share....... Even if it's innocent....and lots of internet fodder IS...you don't love one person with all your heart...and flirt with another. It's disrespectful and mean. And if you put up with it.....it's a sign of hanging on.....for no reason. Link to post Share on other sites
dizzyboy Posted February 12, 2004 Share Posted February 12, 2004 sounds like an excuse Link to post Share on other sites
wideawake Posted February 13, 2004 Share Posted February 13, 2004 I'm surprised you haven't dumped her cheating ass already.... Sorry bro, you're getting played. Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted February 13, 2004 Share Posted February 13, 2004 She ENJOYS the feeling of control she has over this guy? That's all I need to hear. Say goodbye to her. She's not one of the good ones. Link to post Share on other sites
FreeMe Posted February 13, 2004 Share Posted February 13, 2004 I agree with Kevin - exactly what I thought - she enjoys the feeling of control she has over the guy? That is really disturbing. Link to post Share on other sites
luvcrazy02 Posted February 17, 2004 Share Posted February 17, 2004 She is playing with both yours & his emotions. Give her the ultamatium, better yet, just ditch her. If you can't have communication & trust in a relationship you don't have very much to go on. I think this totally explains everything! If she really loved you and cared for you, she would go on hurting you like this. It seems like she doesn't know what she wants, and you should sit there getting hurt by waiting for her to figure it out. Maybe she needs a wake-up call. If you let something go and it comes back to you...it was meant to be. Maybe you should let her go and let her see what she's throwing away. Link to post Share on other sites
morrigan Posted February 17, 2004 Share Posted February 17, 2004 Don't stay with a person who brags about manipulating other people's emotions. Link to post Share on other sites
lovehurtsME Posted February 17, 2004 Share Posted February 17, 2004 I have almost the exact same problem, only I didn't have the pleasure of just discovering a text message. I actually got to hear her say the words "I love you too" over the phone to her OTHER guy, and then, I checked her phone after the call to see who it was, and found some text messages... I confronted her about it, and she told me that I have nothing to worry about, but I really don't believe her and have been worried about it since. we've been together almost 3 years, (3 years this thursday to be exact).... and I felt really strongly about her, but now I don't know what to think.... has she ever done this before without me knowing?? what am I doing wrong? what should I do? Link to post Share on other sites
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